Welcome to my Mind... A Second Opinion

2008-08-13T21:53:00.001-04:00

Brett Favre is among the
biggest rip-offs of all time...

There are a lot of things in this world that do not make a lick of sense. Think about your retirement, first of all. If you are retired, all the best and I hope it’s going splendidly well.

If you are approaching retirement, plan for the best and get ready to just wake up when your eyes open and just relax. If you’re miles away from retirement, keep chugging away. It will get there eventually. Now, NFL quarterback Brett Favre is a different story.

Here is a guy who decided he was done with football and wanted to leave the sport on top. And that he did. He walked away with league records and some of the biggest fame even his money cannot buy. We all saw the press conference with a sad and regretful Favre literally cyring his eyes out about stepping aside to the glorious world of retirement – at age 39!

And then changes his mind, which is where all the media frenzy breaks loose. Will he come back, will he stay retired, will he switch helmets to a rival team? The saga continues but what I cannot understand, no matter how hard I try, is the Green Bay Packers offered this man more than $20 million over the course of 10 years if he stayed retired.

As of right now – Sunday evening – Favre has arrived for Packers training camp so evidently, he really wants to play. But the dumbest thing in the world is that offer. This is a man who was retired and said he wants to un-retire and was offered a truckload of cash to stay retired! If I were retired, this would irk me to no end.

If I were a retired NFL player, which would be funny considering my size and age, I would demand to play again and wait for my multi-million-dollar offer. Favre had everything he ever needed. Records, status as one of the greatest QB’s of all time, and all the relaxation in the world, plus $20 million! Evidently, he really does want to play.

Two other things that make absolutely no sense, and have nothing to do with football whatsoever. First, paying to park. I absolutely hate paying to park. The last two weekends took me to New York. We park in Hoboken, N.J., and take the train into Manhattan. This costs $18. It costs $18 to stop my car on God’s green earth (or whatever color Hoboken is) put it into “P” and walk away.

If you have ever gone to Citizens Bank Park for a Phillies game, you’re looking at $11. To put your car in park. It’s the biggest rip-off in the world next to……Driving ranges. Why am I paying $6 to simply practice a golf swing? The little cart that collects all the balls is rechargeable so it can’t be a gas issue.

Yes, they supply the balls but I supply the swings and frustration. It’s the biggest rip-off since……Corn mazes. The fall season gives life to the corn maze. I’ve seen a sign that says $8 – to walk into a corn field and purposefully get lost! I usually get lost wherever I go for free so this is the biggest rip-off in the world next to……Brett Favre.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-08-13T21:50:00.001-04:00

When did ‘stoner flick’ get
added to horror, action,
drama and comedy?...

I’m not trying to be stuck-up about this whole marijuana movie craze called the “stoner flick,” but I find it funny that something that is supposed to be bad for you, not to mention illegal, is celebrated so highly and made so pop-culturally popular.

The new “Pineapple Express,” which opened last week, is the latest in something I didn’t even realize was in existence. The “Cheech and Chong” movies of the 70s and 80s are iconic on college campuses, and the “Jay and Silent Bob” have overtaken the new generation of “pot-heads.” It was news to me, though, that we even had a genre of a “stoner flick.”

The concept just seems a bit funny. Maybe I need to have a better sense of humor on the topic. People have a hard time believing this, but I have never tried any drug. Never took a “hit” of pot. I guess all the commercials, school assemblies and good-hearted grown-ups somehow got to me.

I’m proud to say I’ve never done it but it’s not about pride; it was simply my choice. Looking back on the movie age, there really have been a lot of “stoner flicks” that have become iconic movies in their own right.

All of them with the joint acting as best supporting actor or sometimes even lead. “Fast Times at Ridgmont High” was huge in the 80s and still holds its weight today. Sean Penn was the goofiest, carefree and constantly-stoned high-schooler who made it famous to get a pizza delivered to class. “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” is one of those movies I’ve always heard about but have never seen.

I’ve knocked back at least 10 W.C. burgers in one sitting and that’s without the influence of any green substance. This duo was still popular and stoned enough to get them into a sequel escaping from Guantanamo Bay.

One of the greats, “Up in Smoke,” slingshot Cheech and Chong into superstar status, especially when they’re parked on the curb smoking a funny cigarette the size of a rolling pin. They’re so out of it, they still think the car is doing 50 mph. These are movies people watched because they were funny but this new genre is a bit odd to me.

In the middle school where I teach, we have social workers deterring drug use. We still have those assemblies to show them the effects of using drugs and we try to make them understand that, although Hollywood profits from it, smoking or injecting or snorting is not something anyone should try.

Those assemblies somehow got to me years ago. The movies don’t necessarily come out and say, “Here, smoke this!” But they certainly aren’t denouncing drugs either. “Pineapple Express” will be huge. It’s even received 3 ½ stars out of 4 from USA Today.

It must have genuine laughs so I can look beyond the whole commercializing and somewhat glorifying of drugs. Maybe I just need a better sense of humor about it.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-07-29T19:47:00.003-04:00

Fan or not, take yourself
out to the ballgame...

Even if you’re not a baseball fan – or even remotely a fan of sports in general – it is still a wise decision to head on over to New York for a game once in a while.

My wife and I took the hot and overly-crowded subway from Hoboken to Manhattan and into Queens on an overcast and threatening Sunday afternoon to watch our beloved Mets face the Cardinals.

It was her first time at Shea Stadium, and her last, since it will be torn down after this season. A lot of excitement geared up to this weekend’s game, in addition to the fact that it was her first home game in New York.

First, the Mets are finally back in contention; their (alleged) ace pitcher, Johan Santana was scheduled for the game; and it was Shea Stadium Lunchbox Day. Free stuff is always good.Other than those bonuses though, a trip to a Major League game, preferably in New York, is an experience like no other.

Choose a weekend afternoon match-up so there’s plenty of time to get to the stadium and grab some food. Yes, it costs an arm and a leg but since this is only a once-in-a-great-while trip, it’s affordable.

Here’s some good advice. Skip the hot dogs. They’re disgusting and nowhere near worth the $4.75. Go for the Italian sausage sandwich. It’s only $3 more than the dogs and they come loaded with peppers and onions. Do not get beer.

If you truly need beer (or multiples) for $8.50 a pop, you might have a problem. Stick with soda in the souvenir cups. At least now you can take something home. Back to the game. If you’re a baseball fan, this is all a given, but if not, it is still a worthwhile experience. There is nothing like the excitement of being surrounded by 55,000 screaming fans who want their team to win no matter what.

If one pitch looks like a ball but it’s called otherwise, scream out your frustration. Hollering at the TV is not in the same league as doing it in person. The energy is addicting. If there’s a close play at the plate, I dare you to not jump out of your seat and get a better look. When a ball is knocked out of the park, I dare you to not high-five those strangers sitting around you.

When a fly ball comes your way and everyone in the surrounding seats thinks he’s got it, do your best to either get out of the way or get in the game. My wife and I had a great time. The Mets absolutely dominated.

We saw three N.Y. home runs, almost 20 hits, a complete game by the pitcher and one of the best home run-stealing catches in centerfield I can remember. For her first time at Shea Stadium, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Maybe she was a good luck charm.

Unfortunately, we cannot afford to attend every game from here through October so the rest of the season is up to the team. But there is still time for you to head to New York, walk the streets, check out some really classic architecture, take a photo in from the Empire State Building, head to the game, grab some dinner and call it a day.

Fan or not, the ballpark (preferably in Queens, not the Bronx) is truly one of America’s greatest places to pass the time.

The only problem with our day was the lunchboxes were only for children 12 and under. Don’t forget to always read the fine print.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-07-13T23:08:00.001-04:00

Competitive gorgers hurt
the fight against obesity...

We live in a hypocritical world in many aspects but when it comes to the fight against obesity and the Competitive Eating Championships, the priorities seem to be going in opposite directions.

Joey Chestnut is a 24-year-old project engineer from San Jose, Calif., with a monster’s stomach. On July 4, he will be defending his hot dog eating championship title against six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi.

Chestnut brought the crown back to the states by downing 66 hot dogs (and buns) in 12 minutes, which is beyond ridiculous. Most of us are predominantly satisfied with two in a regular period of time.

Besides that accomplishment, Chestnut also holds world records in the following: chicken wings (241 in 30 minutes); grilled cheese sandwiches (47 in 10 minutes); jalapeno poppers (118 in 10 minutes); pulled pork (10 pounds in 10 minutes). Why anybody would want to eat that much (or physically how it’s done) is a mystery.

One reason might be the rewarding aspect other than just a tummy ache. Chestnut earned more than $100,000 in competitive eating last year but told Maxim magazine that this cannot be his lifelong job.

“It’s very hard on the body,” he said. “It’s not healthy by any means. Now that I’ve accomplished my goals, I’m having trouble getting motivated to abuse my body.” Quite the opposite of what George Shea, president of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, wants to hear.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is an International Federation of Competitive Eating. It holds 85 contests a year and has expanded overseas. The act of gorging one’s self has become an official sport.

This week’s issue of Time magazine is doing its part to advocate the opposite. “How America’s Children Packed on the Pounds” is just one of the thorough articles to continue the fight for a healthier lifestyle starting early. An interesting look from yesterday and today shows how the priorities have reversed when it comes to diets and why obesity is becoming a horrible problem in our youth.

“In the 1950s, kids had three cups of milk for every cup of soda,” Jeffrey Kluger reports. “Today that ratio is reversed, meaning they get all the calories but none of the nutrients. These days, kids are increasingly sedentary, spending three hours a day in front of a TV or computer.” That could not be more right.

The majority of my middle school students’ grades would drastically improve if I could revolve the curriculum around an X-Box or Nintendo Wii. The Journal of American Medical Association reports that 32 percent of all American kids are overweight; 90 percent of overweight children have at least one avoidable risk factor for heart disease.

The fight continues on. Schools across the country are eliminating soda machines and renovating their menus; restaurants are monitoring their portions better but that does nothing for our willpower and lust for grease. When the act of overeating becomes celebrated as a competition, the fight receives a bit of a black eye.

When the leader of that organization praises these eating machines, I realize it’s his business, but I hope he is joking with the following quote. “I see Joey Chestnut as less of an athlete and more of a patriotic hero,” Shea said. No comment there.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-06-17T16:34:00.002-04:00

Clinton showed class in
concession speech;
where is McCain’s party support?

With Republican nominee John McCain waiting in the wings for a while, the battle for the Democrat slot was a fun race to watch.

Debate after debate after town meeting after more debates, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama went head to head against the same issues – health care, the war, the economy, the middle class lifestyle and any other topic they thought could solidify some votes.

Now that Obama has prevailed, Democrats and Republicans alike should be proud and admiring of the way Clinton has handled her defeat.

The former First Lady formally conceded last week but instead of focusing on why she lost, what she could have done better and how upset she is that she will not be moving back into the White House, she advocated her supporters to join her in helping Obama win the presidency. It was a well-crafted but esteemed move.

“Life is too short, time is too precious, and the stakes are too high to dwell on what might have been,” Clinton told a crowd of more than 1,000 supporters gathered at the National Building Museum in Washington. “We have to work together for what still can be. And that is why I will work my heart out to make sure that Senator Obama is our next president.”

Her speech capped an historic 17-month campaign that evolved into one of the closest nomination battles in U.S. history. Even those disinterested in politics couldn’t help but watch the numbers after each debate and tune in for the results after each Primary.

But on the other side, where has the Republican support been? Remember “America’s Mayor” Rudy Giuliani ran for the job? What happened since he dropped out? Mike Huckabee had a briefly-popular spot on Saturday Night Live and then POOF… he was gone. Mitt Romney? Maybe a little help for your friends? Ron Paul might actually still be running so we won’t count him.

The Republican drop-outs or counted-outs don’t seem to be offering the same cohesive unity that their party also needs. McCain is ready to go but he needs much more support from his colleagues than (keep a straight face) George Bush.

Clinton is doing the right thing. Love her, hate her, like her or don’t care, she should be respected for not only conceding like a gracious loser but for truly caring for her party’s victory of the White House.

The Associated Press theorized that she may be able to help Obama most with her strongest supporters, such as women, blue-collar workers and older Americans. Those groups helped her claim victories in general election swing states including Ohio and Pennsylvania during the primary season. She called on them to give their allegiance to Obama.

Now, the real race begins.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com. His columns and archives are online at www.cjbarnes.blogspot.com.

2008-05-02T22:08:00.002-04:00

Obama’s not ducking debate;
what more can be said?

John McCain must be loving this. For weeks, he has been able to sit back and watch the two remaining Democrats fight for their lives in hopes of receiving their party’s nomination.

Most people are probably wishing the elections would just arrive already. Every single day, we’re given one more reason to vote for Clinton or learn about another million raised for Obama.

This person can do that but the other one will never do this. And the dance continues.

All the headlines and photo captions begin to blend in with each other. The latest, though, is Obama “ducking” a unique debate challenge by his opponent.

Last week, Clinton called for a Lincoln-Douglas-style debate with no moderator against Obama, who says no more debates are needed before the May primaries.

In a TV interview, Obama flat-out denied any possibility that he would take part in a debate with Clinton before the next big round of primaries. And of course, the media will use this as an attack on Obama’s character.

Why wouldn’t he want to debate? Is he scared? Is he losing control? Oh, the horror.

Shortly after maintaining that he isn’t “ducking” debates with his Democratic rival, the Illinois senator admitted that the two hopefuls are “not going to have debates between now and Indiana.”

Voters in Indiana and North Carolina will make their choices on May 6.

In the interview, Fox News’ Chris Wallace asked Obama why he was ducking another one-on-one meeting.

“I’m not ducking one. We’ve had 21,” Obama said. “We want to make sure we’re talking to as many folks as possible on the ground and taking questions from voters.”

He’s exactly right. What new issues can come from one more debate? Gas prices? Health care? The war in Iraq? The current administration? It’s been done and done again.

To be honest, this Lincoln-style debate is just asking for trouble. Without a moderator offering structure and time limits, this just seems like a free-for-all that will lead to shouting and a bunch of “he said,” “she said’s.”

“I’m offering Senator Obama a chance to debate me one-on-one, no moderators. Just the two of us going for 90 minutes, asking and answering questions; we’ll set whatever rules seem fair,” Clinton said. “I think that it would give the people of Indiana and I assume a few Americans might tune in because nearly 11 million watched the Philadelphia debate. And I think they would love seeing that kind of debate and discussion. Remember, that’s what happened during the Lincoln-Douglas debates.”

By now, if you are voting Democrat, you choice is most likely already decided. One more debate won’t change much but more importantly, it won’t bring up any new issues that weren’t discussed in the 21 previous meetings.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-05-02T22:02:00.001-04:00

Is Yoga safe enough for
a man’s self-image?

Approaching 30, one would think the stress levels of growing up would start to subside. Good job, married, no kids yet – all that calming stuff. Think again.

The older I get, the more stress I seem to endure and it’s not as easy as flipping a switch to shut it off.

I was talking with a good friend the other day, an old college roommate who is the same age and was concerned about his own stress levels and how, try as he might, they only seem to elevate with time.

One of his possible solutions was Yoga. Not necessarily a solution, but an idea. A far-off idea. Yoga is for women, isn’t it? Well, let me rephrase that. It isn’t the most masculine of mental-exercising techniques.

My friend works out religiously at a public gym – a place in which I have never stepped foot. They have yoga classes available there with the typical male instructor who seems like he stepped right out of a Grateful Dead concert circa 1967.

Dreadlocks, a tye-dye T-shirt, sandals, John Lennon-style glasses and the most soothing voice one would supposedly need to get in touch with our inner-selves. My friend is skeptical and so am I.

Is this really what is needed? Am I too crass to assume this guy blows Yanni through the speakers and offers free chai tea in between positions? (And speaking of positions, the last time I had a doctor’s appointment, I could not even touch my toes without bending over. I doubt my body would contort into the pretzel-ready shapes of Yoga).

Perhaps I am searching for an easy way out but is it somewhat acceptable for men to give Yoga a shot? How confidential are these gatherings? Can I use a phony name?

Before jumping to more conclusions than were already jumped, I checked out Yoga.com to learn something – anything that would alleviate my probably-ridiculous fears.

There are at least six different styles of mats available in different textures and colors. Microfibers, cotton, all-natural, whatever your taste in mats might be. The one called the “Night Streaker” runs for $32.95. Not sure if its name implies is after effects or if that’s just a clever marketing scheme.

Available are more DVDs on Yoga than I own in total. They have Yoga-friendly shoes for $114. Yoga bags, Yoga balls, Yoga bolsters (no idea), and Yoga blocks and wedges.

Also featured is the Yoga “Pose of the Month.” The one for April is called Anantasana, described as a reclining leg stretch. Even if I had two removable legs, this would be difficult.

The frightening thing, though, is this Web site is visibly geared toward women. I’m still curious as to how many men actually do this out there, and if it’s in public or in the privacy of their own homes. Trouble is, I’m still stressed. I visited the site of an alleged relaxation technique and it’s making me worry more than ever.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-04-13T21:23:00.002-04:00

Safety belts should at least
be an option on school buses...

I remember the field trips to the Allentown Art Museum, Crystal Cave and even the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, which, as a kid, feels like it’s on the other side of the country. Since buckling a seat belt was mandatory in my parents’ car, the thought always occurred during those times as well – why is no option available here?

A popular debate that seems to have disappeared for many years can easily be revisited. You cannot force students to fasten themselves to school bus seats, nor can they be properly monitored; but should the opportunity be there, just in case a student wants to increase safety during the ride?

The federal government is moving closer to requiring seat belts on at least some school buses, and a recent survey shows more than 200 injuries to regional school children since 2000 might have been prevented if they had been properly belted in their seats.

The U.S. Department of Transportation is considering a lap/shoulder seat belt to join another safety feature already on school buses – high backed, heavily padded seats. But would that be enough? Would they even be used? Naturally, districts cannot hire faux-parents to make sure all the little boys and girls are strapped in snuggly before the trip.

My most recent school bus ride came one year ago and those seats were certainly not heavily padded. And even then, as a teacher rather than a student, the question returned – why is extra protection not available to me? I am not necessarily faulting the good soul up front driving these kids from here to there with seemingly hundreds of stops in between, but what about the other drivers?

There are two sides of the school-bus seat-belt debate. Advocates say seat belts have a proven record of passenger safety in cars. Opponents, however, say belts could reduce the number of children that can fit on a bus, forcing them to take more hazardous means of transportation or send school district transportation costs soaring.

I’ve said this many times on many school-related topics, but if the students’ safety is the main objective, “soaring costs” should not be an obstacle in the least.

The exact cost of seat belts for school buses would vary from district to district, since each has contracts with different transportation companies. But while richer districts are looking into implementing high-end technological tools like Smart Boards, measures should be taken for school budgets to ensure that students are getting to the schools safely. Otherwise, those new gadgets seem rather useless.

The National Coalition for School Bus Safety is adamant about equipping school buses with the availability of seat belts and seems to consider the notion a no-brainer.

“If society believes seat belts are desirable and necessary, then it’s a grave oversight for schools not to offer our children that choice. This lifesaving habit comes to a halt every September when the school year begins, as we send our children off to school on beltless buses,” its Web site declares. “It’s time to let our legislators know that seat belts on school buses is an issue of top priority. Meanwhile, let’s challenge our school districts to go that extra mile in the area of bus safety. This extra protection is surely worth the added expense. Our children are defenseless unless we act in their behalf. Let’s not wait for another tragedy to strike.”

At least the option would be there. Isn’t that better than nothing?

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-03-31T21:06:00.002-04:00

After defending our home,
too many veterans remain
without one themselves...

Even in the year 2008, our country faces a problem with the homeless. Shelters become overcrowded, underworked or just plain vacant from the lack of attendance. A startling fact that I read recently, however, describes a growing problem with a characteristic of our nation’s homeless.

“Although military veterans represent only 11 percent of civilian adults in the U.S., they make up more than 26 percent of the homeless population,” Time magazine reports. “There are approximately 196,000 vets out on the street every night.”

Without taking anything away from the rest of the unfortunate homeless population, the men and women who have taken the risks of serving their country certainly deserve to have a roof over their head for each of their remaining days.

According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, “Many other veterans are considered near homeless or at risk because of their poverty, lack of support from family and friends, and dismal living conditions in cheap hotels or in overcrowded or substandard housing.”

What’s wrong with this picture? As a kid, I remember riding in my parents’ car and seeing down-trodden folk on the roadside with the stereotypical cardboard sign asking for food in return for work. Never in a million years, though, would one assume that U.S. soldiers remain without a home after defending ours.

Too proud? Embarrassed? Scared? Faithless? Each one, I’m sure, has a different reason.
The D.V.A. states that in 2008, the number of homeless male and female Vietnam era veterans is greater than the number of service persons who died during that conflict, and a small number of Desert Storm veterans are also appearing in the homeless population.

I had known and became close with many veterans during my years in the newspaper business. I loved hearing their stories from all generations and situations – in the trenches, submarines, deserts, jungles, battlefields. I’ve known old men with missing legs, eye patches, scars from shrapnel and other body disfigurements. They suffered so we wouldn’t have to.

It makes absolutely no sense why people who are honored and revered in our society (and should be more often than just specific holidays) are on the streets in the cold, rain, snow and ice.
Veterans Affairs (thankfully) offers a wide array of special programs and initiatives specifically designed to help homeless veterans who live in as self-sufficiently and independently as possible.

In fact, it’s the only nationwide agency that provides substantial hands-on assistance directly to homeless people.

The treatment programs started back in 1987 and continue to offer valuable services that are much needed. “We aggressively outreach to those vets living on the streets and in shelters who otherwise would not seek assistance; we offer long-term sheltered transitional assistance, case management and rehabilitation and employment assistance and linkage with available income supports,” their Web site proclaims.

The trouble with both veteran and regular homeless people is a majority of them refuse the help. With organizations like the VA staying on top of such a problem, though, hopefully we can get that number drastically reduced. Those who have fought for our home should not be without one.

Chris Barnes, of Allentown, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-03-21T23:08:00.004-04:00

If only I could marry
a Beatle…even Ringo...

I feel bad for Paul McCartney. Sort of.

The $48.6 million he now owes ex-wife Heather Mills is probably in his wallet at any given time, both in dollars and pounds. Since the former Beatle and all-around music legend (he is officially a “Sir” as well) is worth half of England, his jolly old bank account won’t even notice the dent but this particular divorce settlement is about principle.

Whenever a no-name marries a huge name, we – the logically-thinking public – start imaginary pools in our heads to guess the length of time before “divorce” is mentioned.

Their situation was especially odd since Sir Paul’s wife of 29 years, Linda, had died in 1998 from breast cancer. Then, all of a sudden, this new blonde with a missing leg comes into the picture. Now she’s gone but she won’t let us forget.

In a closed-door hearing last week, Mills was awarded $33 million plus $15.6 million in assets and property, and $70,000 a year in child support. Not too shabby of a deal. After the decision, McCartney told the press that “All will be revealed.”

Mills, however, is fighting to keep the settlement’s details private. Obviously, this tabloid-ready saga will continue down its long and winding road for some time. But it gives me an idea.

To my dearest Ringo: You don’t know me but perhaps that can all change. I’ll be very up-front and honest with you because that’s all I would ever ask for in return. I don’t find you attractive in the least. In fact, you resemble a pug dog in sunglasses that’s constantly flashing the peace sign for some reason. Don’t take offense, though, sir. (Well, not “sir” as in an actual “Sir” like Paul’s a “Sir.” It was just a figure of speech.)

I’ve never really cared for your music – meaning the Beatles as a whole – and no one cares for your All-Starr Band solo work. Personally, I couldn’t believe tickets were demanding $102 when your personal tour came to Easton’s State Theater a few years back.

In all honesty, you’re sincerely lucky to have been in the most popular band of all time. Your drumming skills aren’t even close to being mediocre. The only reason any of those screaming girls threw themselves at you in the ‘60s was because John, Paul and George were totally smothered. Again, no offense; I’m just being honest. I’m hoping we can build something here.

And speaking of being honest, here it comes. I’m married. Let’s get that issue out there right now. Married to a woman. But let’s focus on us, Richard. May I call you “Richard”?
Perhaps we could meet over tea. You Brits absolutely adore tea. Maybe during our time together, you will grow fondly of me and then our life as one can begin.

I promise to always love, love you do; and to always be true. As long as you promise to never sing “Yellow Submarine,” we should be OK. So consider it; imagine it and understand that this (pointing to myself) is what is needed in your life, Richard.
All my lovin’, CB.

Little does Ringo (or Richard) know that my plan is to pull a “Mills.” One night when I accidentally refer to him as Pete Best, he will surely flip out, thus ending our Cinderella story. As I walk away, my pockets will overflow with cash and the money I get from our settlement will set me for life.

Maybe my wife and I can have a “girls-only” lunch with Ms. Mills to gab about our “earnings” for marrying a billionaire under the assumption of love but with dollar signs in mind. If Yoko is free, she’s welcome to join. I can’t imagine her schedule is too booked.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-03-13T19:06:00.002-04:00

Faithful women shouldn’t have
to stand by their unfaithful men...

Tammy Wynette made it popular but the advice to “Stand By Your Man” doesn’t apply to all circumstances these days.

When popular political figures such as governors and presidents do dumb things, I feel bad for the family. Especially bad for the wives of these unfaithful flops as they profess an unethical and sometimes illegal act while the Mrs. stands stoic by her man’s side.

Last week, New York’s (now former) governor, Eliot Spitzer, told the press and the waiting world how he had entered into a pricey sex scandal. The New York Times reported that Spitzer was caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month. During the press conference, Spitzer boldly stated that he wanted to take time to “regain the trust of my family.”

Best of luck with that. All this coming from the man who promised to clean up state politics. Now he needs to start at home. Both times Spitzer spoke, first to announce his bad behavior and then to acknowledge his resignation, Silda Wall Spitzer, his bride, stood there with a sorrowful look on her face.

She did not have to be there and, personally, I think it would have spoken volumes had she been absent.

In 2004, when former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey resigned over a gay affair with a man whom he hired, his now ex-wife Dina stood right there. She hit the cable news channels last week to compare her ordeal with that of Mrs. Spitzer’s, saying that the whole ordeal is very tough on the wife.

“She is ridiculed and shamed in front of virtually the entire world,” McGreevey told CNN. “She’s not only dealing with her own personal pain but trying to protect her daughters from this.”

Neither woman needed to stand next to her husband at the press conference. These women were abused in a very wrong way and for them to stand (seemingly with support) next to the man who was unfaithful and face the cameras and microphones, they are truly a better person than their other half.

Hillary Clinton seems to have been the best at shrugging off a truly embarrassing situation. She’s currently vying to hold the very office that saw her husband breach our and her trust by reaching out to a young female intern in an inappropriate way. Clinton stuck by her man through it all and, today, he is one of her biggest supporters in the election. It’s hard to say whether that can help or hurt her chances though.

I’m not trying to criticize the wives for making this decision but it only hurts their image and increases our sympathy for them. On her CNN interview, Dina McGreevey urged people not to think poorly toward the cheated-on wives for standing tall yet small at the announcements.

“I was criticized for standing there, as was Hillary Clinton,” she said. “We all do it for very personal reasons. You don’t know what it’s like until you’re in the person’s shoes.”

It’s an understandable point, I suppose. Supporting the man you married out of respect for the children is one thing. But if the wife failed to show up when Spitzer or McGreevey told the public his vows were broken, it would have been an unfortunate but victorious statement that would have even made Tammy Wynette think twice.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-03-08T16:55:00.001-05:00

The measure of a man has
nothing to do with a name...

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.
Both are interesting concepts – to accept things for what they truly are, rather than merely looking at labels or outer shells.

Those that bring up Barack Obama’s middle name are just looking for an excuse to complain. Nit-pick, some call it.

At birth, we have no control over the names (or labels or colors or religions) we are given. As we grow older, the option to change is always there but the proud ones stick with it. Obama cannot help the fact that his middle name is the same as Iraq’s former tyrant leader. He also cannot help the fact that his last name sounds much like the world’s most wanted terrorist’s first name. Yet he doesn’t hide from the fact.

Others, however, love to use it against him, adding that we might be voting for someone with lineage to our worst enemies.

“I don’t want to disparage anyone because of their race, their ethnicity, their name or whatever religion their father might have been,” Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, said Friday in a radio interview. “I’ll just say this: When you think about the option of a Barack Obama potentially getting elected president of the United States, what does this look like to the rest of the world? What does it look like to the world of Islam? I will tell you that, if he is elected president, then the radical Islamists, the al-Qaeda, the radical Islamists and their supporters, will be dancing in the streets in greater numbers than they did on September 11th because they will declare victory in this War on Terror. His middle name (Hussein) does matter. It matters because they read a meaning into that in the rest of the world. That has a special meaning to them. They will be dancing in the streets because of his middle name.”

What a schmuck. Obama’s middle name has only become a hot topic because certain people are choosing to make it an issue.

Republican candidate-hopeful John McCain couldn’t apologize quickly enough recently after Bill Cunningham, a conservative talk radio host, pumped up a Cincinnati rally with a few loaded references to “Barack Hussein Obama.” When McCain was asked afterwards if he believed the thorough label was appropriate to use, McCain said, “No, it was not. Any comment that is disparaging of either Senator Clinton or Senator Obama is totally inappropriate.”

Well said. I’ve always been most attracted to the candidate who truly remains respectful throughout a campaign and chooses not to resort to mud-slinging.

Time magazine tackled the topic last week as well, saying that mention of the H-word could actually help Obama, especially if he chooses not to run from it publicly.

“No matter what his advisers say, Obama wins nothing by shying away from his differences. After all, Obama is the candidate of change,” Nathan Thornburgh wrote. “He should take a cue from McCain’s courage on Iraq. Say what you will about McCain, but he knows he’s the war candidate. And though he may have regretted saying it out loud, McCain clearly accepts that if voters don’t buy his vision for the war, he’ll lose. It’s not too much risk for Obama to stake his campaign on voters’ ability to rationally understand the difference between a Hawaii-born Christian and Saddam Hussein, the butcher of Baghdad.”

It should be Obama’s choice to discuss, though. He didn’t choose any part of his name, nor did he choose his race. He did choose his current path, however, and if we are prepared to elect the man (or woman) for what’s beneath that outer shell, all name references should be left outside the voting booth.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-03-02T14:10:00.003-05:00

A rookie, a prince and a Knight
walk onto a computer screen...

The Experience Factor – It’s an ongoing debate within the debates these days of the experience factor between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. The American people are told daily how each candidate is ready to be President on day one, but who is truly prepared for the job? There is a big difference between the two adjectives.

It’s a touchy subject for the prospective employee anywhere, though. Many jobs will only interview people who have a certain amount experienced years. But how does one get that experience? By working on the very type of job one can only be hired to do with experience.

A Catch 22 or the chicken and the egg. Call it what you will but when an entire country is the customer, maybe that “experience factor” holds more clout than the normal nine-to-fiver.

This week, Time magazine asks, “How Much Does Experience Matter?” Writer David Von Drehle points out that not all successful U.S. leaders have had qualified credentials.

“Obama’s detractors highlight his relative inexperience in Washington, but some successful Presidents had even less capital training,” he writes. “Abraham Lincoln, among the least experienced Presidents ever, served between two of the most veteran politicians in U.S. history. Lincoln achieved greatness; the old pros failed miserably.”

A great point he makes is how on-the-job training works well in most companies but not always when your stakeholders are an entire land of tax-paying citizens. “Unfortunately, when a President gets an education, we all pay the tuition,” Von Drehle writes. Then again, how many classes has our current two-term President missed?

Prince Harry Makes a U-Turn in Desert – Friday’s story in USA Today read “Prince Harry, third in line to the British throne, has been deployed to fight Taliban forces in one of Afghanistan’s most lawless and barren provinces. His tour is arguably the most dangerous undertaken by any royal in recent times.”

And on Sunday, the same newspaper had a new story. “Britain’s Prince Harry arrived back in Britain on Saturday after his combat mission to Afghanistan was cut short.”

His assignment had been kept secret in an arrangement between Britain’s Ministry of Defense and British media organizations until his tour of duty was over. On Thursday, the U.S. Web site Drudge Report broke news of Harry’s whereabouts.

On Friday, the chief of the British Defense Staff pulled Harry out on the grounds that the exposure and worldwide media coverage would compromise Harry and his unit’s safety. The Prince himself acknowledged that his royal lineage made him a “bullet magnet” by Taliban forces and a possible kidnap target.

There are two sides to this story. First, it is certainly noble that someone of royalty – actual “royalty,” unlike our American Hilton, Spears and Lohan snobby princesses – wanted to serve his country. Amidst all the weird behavior that briefly made Harry a typical tabloidian (remember the Nazi garb?), it’s a noble move to alter his image and carry on a giving tradition that would make his mother proud.

Alternately, he’s right in the “target” possibility. Thanks to the schmuck “journalists” who would rather break the news of the soldier Prince’s location than let him fight somewhat anonymously, he must return home. Although it was a dignified cause, that is probably for the best.

ESPN gets Knighted – When Bob Knight – the most disgruntled and strict coach in NCAA basketball history – retired abruptly last month from Texas Tech, surely no one assumed that would be the last time we’d hear his mouth. ESPN agrees, hiring Knight as a college basketball studio analyst. He will begin March 12.

Knight is one of those love ‘em, hate ‘em, really love ‘em or can’t stand ‘em kind of guys. Considering Knight has the most wins ever in NCAA Division I men’s college basketball, he must have been doing something right. He just had an overly-eccentric way of doing it.

I was always a fan. Naturally, he was fun to watch. The angrier he would get, the more fun the game became. The classic “chair-throwing” incident of 1985 is a staple of sports highlights, as is every interview that had more vulgarity than it did normal speech.

What made Knight a legendary coach – all behavior aside – was his undying desire to push each and every player to be his best 110 percent of the time, no exceptions. That’s all. If a player ever dropped the ball – figuratively – he had to answer to that coach, and he wouldn’t be at all forgiving.

Imagine if all coaches, teachers, bosses and parents were of the same caliber. Minus the violent and vulgar behavior, of course.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-02-24T13:41:00.004-05:00

A post-racial world sounds like
something from the
Twilight Zone...

“You know, son, back in my day, all blacks were not treated fairly. It had been a long time since slavery ended, but they were still far from free. They had some real tough roads to travel before reaching full acceptance. Nothing like it is today.”

I’m trying to picture a highly-dramatized conversation that might occur one day in the far future between a father and son. It’s a very interesting concept to consider – a post-racial world, as described in a recent column by Mohammad Ali Salih, a Washington D.C. correspondent for major Arabic newspapers and magazines in the Middle East.

He had a similar present-day conversation with his son about the presidential campaigns and the effects that race has on them and the voters. Their talk was interesting.

“I asked my son, a twenty-something Democrat and Barack Obama supporter, two questions: Why do you favor Obama? and Are you supporting Obama because he is biracial like you?”

Salih’s son had an expected angry response. “I knew you were going to ask about race,” he said. “And I understand that, because of your age and background. (Mr. Salih is in his 60s and is an immigrant from Sudan). But, Dad, you need to wake up to the new thinking about race in America. It is not about being racial; it is not about being biracial; it is about being post-racial.”

That is a theory I had never considered before – not only a world without race issues, but one that’s pushed beyond them. It almost sounds like a Twilight Zone episode where one wakes up and the planet’s population sees all the beautiful colors everywhere except skin. Suddenly, we are just “people.”

But reverting back to the 2008 elections, must the race issues carry over to voter demographics, in addition to those of the candidates?

If the Democrats prevail, the U.S. will have its first woman or African-American president. Either would be a nice change from a bunch of boring old white guys.

But when we talk about the voters – the very people who elect our next leader – why must the classifications be separated into sublevels of people? You have the African-American vote and the Hispanic vote. There are the votes among women and blue-collared Latinos. Then the regular white-person vote.

Clinton, Obama, McCain and Huckabee are vying for them all but take different angles to winning them over. Why can’t there just be votes, minus all adjectives? Just votes.
Candidates push for one nation, one people, one voice… yet we have a variety of “votes.”

Salih (the senior) said he always wanted his children to be proud of their mixed race. “It took me 10 painful years to realize that the color of my skin doesn’t dictate my identity,” he wrote. “Yet I didn’t think about the contradiction that, although I had ‘liberated’ myself from having race as part of my identity, I wanted my children to belong to not only one race but two – until my son’s lecture. Not only does race not matter, but mixed race also doesn’t matter.”

I think Obama would do much more for this country’s racial divides than Clinton would do for our gender issues. Perhaps some black in a house that’s “White” might help voters progress toward that post-racial world and start seeing some gray.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-02-16T15:51:00.005-05:00

Firearms freedom is not the
answer to school shootings...

12 states ponder if students should be
allowed to carry guns on campus

“Mind if I borrow a pencil? Oh, and can you spare a few bullets?” What a scary but possibly realistic thought.

After last week’s horrific and latest mass school shooting, 12 states are beginning to debate one of the stupidest things ever conceived. Please read with neutrality and form your own opinion.

Following the North Illinois University rampage on Valentine’s Day where Stephen Kazmierczak killed seven and injured 15 before shooting himself, we’re reminded of the Virginia Tech incident of 2007 where 33 people were killed, which reminds us of the 2006 Amish schoolhouse murders where 10 schoolgirls (ages 6 to 13) were shot, which reminds us of Columbine in 1999 that seemingly started it all. So what’s the solution? Does one exist?

A few states seem to think the answer is allowing guns on campus. Read it again. A few states seem to think the answer is allowing guns on campus. Alabama, Arizona, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, South Dakota, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia and Washington are considering bills that would allow people with concealed-weapons permits to carry guns at public universities.

Students for Concealed Carry on Campus is calling attention to the issue with a protest from April 21-25, a week after the one-year anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings. During the protest, for which about 1,600 nationwide students have signed up so far, participants will be attending school wearing empty gun holsters around their waists. If their dreams are answered, those holsters won’t have to be empty.

“The only way to stop a person with a gun is another person with a gun,” Michael Flitcraft, a University of Cincinnati sophomore, told USA Today last week. He has a license to carry guns but because of the university’s common-sense rules, is prohibited from bringing them onto campus.

I am not trying to sound like a peace-loving hippy by any means, but answering these massacres with firearms freedom is not even close to being the answer. If some down-trodden individual chooses to take his or her problems out on innocent and unsuspecting peers, there is not much that truly can prevent it from happening.

Sure, security can be beefed up. More surveillance cameras can be installed. Communication in certain situations can be improved. But no one – absolutely no one – has the ability to get inside someone’s head to see it coming.

It’s frightening but true – this can happen anywhere. The select states, however, that want to answer the abrupt violence with more retaliation violence have their preventative priorities all wrong.

Only Utah currently allows permit holders to carry guns on the campuses of its nine public universities. USA Today ran a striking photograph last week of a University of Utah student’s waist. Strapped to his belt were a cell phone and a Glock 9mm semi-automatic handgun. Unbelievable.

Omar Samaha’s sister, Reema, was killed during the Virginia Tech rampage. He shared his thoughts on this stunning legislation with the media a few days ago.

“Allowing guns on campuses is a risk in an environment where young people drink and fight and are not always able to control their emotions,” he said. “It’s kind of a crazy notion to think about. It takes us back to the Wild, Wild West.” Well said.

My biggest concerns about sending my children to college are escalating tuition costs and campus life. I do not want to worry about my son or daughter sitting in an Intro to Geography course surrounded by fellow students ready to shoot.

In a world where our intentions are always to look ahead and push forward, allowing loaded guns on college campuses is not only a thoughtless move into a scary past, but a step into an unknown direction that will just lead to more deaths and unmitigated, constant fear, let alone hapless accidents.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-02-10T11:54:00.001-05:00

Resurrecting the past –
from parchment to vinyl...

When my middle school English curriculum came to the section on writing a letter and all its proper forms and styles, it almost seemed like a history lesson. It seemed similar to ancient Egyptians’ hieroglyphics, writing on parchment, or rolled-up scribes.

Who actually sits down to write a bona fide letter anymore? Other than my mother, most of the world has taken to exclusive e-mail correspondence due to its speed, convenience and no need for postage.

Why find a piece of paper and a smooth-rolling pen when the keyboard is right there? Why search for those elusive envelopes when the computer screen doesn’t even need one? And forget about dusting off the reliable old dictionary when all e-mail programs come complete with spell-checkers for you.

Communication has never been so easy. So when the time came to teach 12-year-olds in the year 2008 about writing this thing called a “letter,” it appeared to be a joke. Date at the top; the receiver’s address; the sender’s address; Dear so-and-so; and should there be a comma or a colon? Does it matter?

Whatever they want to say could be done instantly through e-mail, instant messengers and text messages. Add on taking videos and photos, cell phones have really become the Batman utility belt of this generation.

But if we can teach these “youngsters” about the golden age of connecting with people, maybe they would also benefit from seeing those big black discs that play static-filled music.

In our age of iPods, MP3 players and Internet music downloads, the old-fashioned CD seems to be slipping into the technology graveyard. The little shiny prism discs of yesterday are being overtaken by its larger predecessors of yesterday’s yesterday.

“Many young listeners discovered LPs after they rifled through their parents’ collections looking for oldies and found that they liked the warmer sound quality of records, the more elaborate album covers and liner notes that come with them, and the experience of putting one on and sharing it with friends, as opposed to plugging in some ear phones and listening alone,” Kristina Dell reported last month in Time magazine.

Just like the bell bottoms that briefly made a resurgence and 70s arena rock bands that constantly want to reunite for world tours, the kids of today are getting lessons from the past around every corner. Vinyl records are no different and should be welcomed back.

They have character and a style all their own. Ask any enthusiast or collector, he or she will praise the mere act of taking the LP out of the paper jacket, placing it on the turn-table, dropping the needle and waiting for the tunes to overtake the slight crackling coming through the speaker.

None of that happens with CDs or MP3s, but is convenience better than nostalgia? I like teaching history to my students, even though it’s an English class. I like to share things from the past that may shed some light on the way things used to be.

When I was their age, my Uncle Leo traveled from York, Pa., to Florida and many other places. He and I wrote each other for many years. Actual letters, some photographs, a few baseball cards. It was exciting to get that package in the mail. It had more personal feelings to it than a blip on a computer screen that has a photo attached.

Maybe next week, when I offer a lesson on writing that perfect letter, we can throw on some of the old vinyls that still sit in my parents’ basement. Trouble is, these kids won’t even know who Bruce Springsteen is. The horror…

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-02-03T14:20:00.000-05:00

Candidates love the celebrity
push but voters shouldn’t care...

When we hit the voting booths in a few months – which will probably turn out to be the biggest outpouring of all time – will it be a personal and self-decided vote? In most cases, yes, but Hollywood still likes to come calling and grasp on to favored would-be leaders.

But when these celebrities come forward to offer some support, does it necessarily help the candidate? Hurt the celebrity? Should they even get involved?

It seems that with the 2008 elections, the “celebrity vote” is getting as much press as the man or woman running. From the “Oprah” vote with Barack Obama to the karate-kicking “Chuck Norris” vote for Mike Huckabee, many stars like to add their name to hopefully help their favorite choice.

Last week, USA Today reported that “it’s not only the phalanx of celebrities attempting to influence the primary races, it’s also what they’re doing.” (Don’t worry, you’re not alone: Phalanx (n), \fā-laŋ(k)s: a group of individuals united for a common cause or purpose.) “In years past, most stars have been content to endorse and bankroll candidates and make high-profile appearances. But this year, with the race still open and many states up for grabs, celebrities have been working in key states earlier, in greater numbers and more extensively than ever.”

These star endorsements don’t always translate into votes, though. In fact, a lot of times, they can be detrimental. No offense to Chuck Norris, but what will he do to the Huckabee campaign that Huckabee himself cannot? He is, however, a newspaper editor’s dream. A million headlines are ready for the “karate-chopping” and “drop-kicking” cliché puns. Other than that, Huckabee should be on his own.

Oprah Winfrey is another story. It almost seems if the woman would invent an all-dog-food diet for humans, Alpo’s stock would go through the roof. She has an insane amount of power. Perhaps she is what’s keeping Obama in the race with Mrs. Bill Clinton.

Although, the former First Lady and possible “Really First Lady” had Ted Danson showing up at her campaign stops last week. All that will really do is get the words “Ted” and “Danson” back in the news temporarily.

Before dropping out of the race, John Edwards received assistance from singers John Mellencamp and Bonnie Raitt, as well as actors Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon.
Rudy Giuliani, who I thought would go much further than he did, was accompanied by Jon Voight. Really? Jon Voight?

The big guy right now, John McCain, has diabetes spokesperson and Quaker Oates sponsor Wilford Brimley. Somehow, McCain is still on top. This goes to prove that celebrity assistance, or even Wilford Brimley, does not necessarily factor into the voting.

As well it shouldn’t. We should go with our own preference. It’s great that those in high places want to possibly risk their images and support a particular candidate – it shows courage. But it should not impress us or influence us in the least.

In our next leader, I want to see determination; a clear-set plan but room for additional ideas; appropriate knowledge but a willingness to learn and listen. And I appreciate the candidate who tells me what he or she can do and why he or she should be elected. Rather than why the other person is wrong.

Let them be wrong. Tell me why you are right. This can easily be done without celebrity assistance – or even Chuck Norris, Wilford Brimley and Ted Danson.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-01-24T20:37:00.000-05:00

New ‘Bin Laden’ movie asks
old but relevant question...

It was the monstrosity of calories in a McDonald’s-exclusive lifestyle that made Morgan Spurlock famous a few years ago. The documentarian ate nowhere but the Golden Arches and proved that such a diet does nothing but extend one’s waistline and possibly shorten the lifeline.

His newest work will be released this year and is already getting much press (and controversy) at international film festivals. “Where in the World is Osama bin Laden?” takes the 37-year-old director to parts of Afghanistan and Pakistan to find the world’s most elusive man – a man that has slipped through the Bush administration’s hands for more than six years.

It is certainly an interesting concept to once again visit the question. Of course, I have no idea what the government is truly doing in this matter and, who knows, we may be tracking him as I write this. But more realistically, if we don’t have people still over there searching every cave and secret compartment of the earth’s crust for the man who masterminded the 9/11 attacks, Spurlock is taking matters into his own hands and cameras.

He is said to have shot more than 800 hours of film as he scoured the Middle East for the well-guarded mega-terrorist. Not much is yet being shown from the film but the hype is beginning and, these days, that’s all it takes. The title alone should raise some curiosity and even some anger that, well, good question! Where, in fact, is this guy and how has he not been captured after all this time?

Not many answers are available but whatever information comes from this documentary will be worth a watch. Even with its semi-humorous overtones, viewers should not take this to be a slap in the face of Americanism but moreover a wake-up call to our leaders that we haven’t forgotten that the FBI’s most wanted killer still walks a free man.

The movie posters almost make Spurlock out to be an archeologist – Indiana Jones in nature with the “hero” holding a net rather than a whip. Bin Laden isn’t the Holy Grail by any means but it would surely be the find of the century. How funny would it have been for a quasi-celebrity to come across his location rather than any Washington intel?

This topic has been covered, recovered, covered some more and then forgotten. Every so often, a television special will air on MSNBC or Fox News with the “Hunt for bin Laden” headline but it’s the same old information. “He was last seen somewhere in the hills of…” and even that was years ago. So are we still looking? Do we still care? Do they still care? Does it still matter?

The last question should be easiest of all to answer.

Was justice served? Directly after the attacks, our nation was promised that “We will bring these terrorists to justice,” or something like that. Do we even remember that? Do they?

The one thing Spurlock does that I admire is he takes a simple idea that is easy to understand and forces us to consider it. Our eating habits, Christmas commercialism (“What Would Jesus Buy?”) and now, the ongoing alleged hunt for bin Laden.

It’s not meant to necessarily mock the situation, although it’s not 100 percent serious in nature either. Until CNN and Wolf Blitzer get back on the trail, “Where in the World is Osama bin Laden” asks the one question we all wonder. If only a real answer would surface one day.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2008-01-14T19:43:00.000-05:00

You know you’re
getting older when…

As I rapidly approach 30 – yes, 30 is still a big deal – it is becoming more and more evident that the golden years are behind me. The body begins to deteriorate, the mind starts to decline and priorities go all out of whack. It’s clear you’re getting older when…

…You need one, sometimes two, hands on your roof to get out of your car. Merely twisting your body and hopping out no longer happens.

…You start turning the stereo volume down because it actually hurts your ears.

…You become stiff from simply rearranging your sweater drawer. No joke. I can understand the pain from playing flag football with the nephews or shoveling a 40-foot driveway but from crouching down to re-fold sweaters I don’t even wear? Yikes.

…Opera actually sounds appealing. You begin to question this immediately but then think, “Hmm, it’s really not that bad.”

…You use the expression, “Ugh…these kids today…”

…You actually do read certain magazines for the articles.

…You need something from upstairs and your final decision is to just “let it go.”

…You stop playing golf on Nintendo Wii or Playstation and start watching it on TV.

…You have 14 keys on one key ring when you only need two for your house and car. The others have just been gathered through the years but remain meaningless.

…10 p.m. is considered “staying up to the wee hours.”

…You actually have to stop and rest while walking through the mall.

…Doctor appointments cause anxiety not because of sharp needles but because of certain intrusive inspections.

…You start taking about three pills in addition to a multivitamin.

…You carry an umbrella everywhere just in case it rains because you don’t want to “catch cold.”

…PBS is on the TV more than HBO or ESPN.

…You buy lottery tickets all the time in hopes of winning an “early retirement.”

…You wear a tie-clip without even remembering putting one on. One day, all dressed up, you look down and BAM! There it is.

…You occasionally feel your chest just to make sure your heart is actually still beating.

…Every dinner must have dessert and coffee, followed by 10 minutes of quality tooth-picking.

…Big greasy breakfasts are no longer an option whatsoever. No more western omelets (with cheese) and hashbrowns. No more corned-beef hash. No more bacon along with sausage. Say hello to bran muffins and sugar-free jelly.

…Fiber requirements are on the daily agenda.

…Waking up beyond 6 a.m. is somehow considered “sleeping in.”

…Sundays are exciting because of the new weekly coupons, not because of football.

…You start to appreciate life more every day and realize how important all the little things really are. If only “these kids today” could do the same.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He turns 29 this month. Contact him at chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-12-30T12:19:00.000-05:00

What did Vladimir Putin do
that Britney and Paris didn't?

Stephen King has always had a twisted mind with popular tales of murder, the supernatural and psychotic characters. But never has he made such an interesting point than in last week’s issue of TIME magazine.

Celebrities were asked for their suggestions on this year’s “Person of the Year.” The honored selection is usually a prominent worldly figure that affects the planet in some way, either good or bad. Among the actual 2007 candidates were Al Gore, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling, and Vladimir Putin, who ended up winning.

King’s bold statement offered two possible names to throw in the ring: Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan – as if they needed any more press. The news media, he observed, is being overwhelmed by entertainment gossip. Overwhelmed isn’t even the word for it. “Abundantly and disgustingly saturated” is getting closer.

“I told ‘Nightline,’ You guys are just covering -- what do they call it -- the scream of the peacock, and you’re missing the whole fox hunt.’ Like waterboarding or wherre all the money went that we poured into Iraq. It just seems to disappear,” he said. “And yet you get this coverage of who’s going to get custody of Britney’s kids? You’ve got these things going on that could affect all of us, and instead, you see a lot of this back-fence gossip.”

It’s a great point – not a new point, but a great point worth revisiting. The news networks, magazines and publications know what sells their product. Unfortunately, in 2007, news of Britney’s kid sister becoming pregnant at 16 will easily push its way to the top compared to the ongoing war in Iraq, or wherever it’s being fought now, presidential election coverage and so on.

Barry Bonds was a huge story that deserved actual mentioning. Professional, highly-highly-highly-paid athletes allegedly cheating is always a big thing.

The recent assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto went straight to the top, thankfully. As the story unfolds, it may even stay there for a few hours.

In the meantime, we’ll be broadsided with the latest divorce scandal, Hollywood hook-ups and locations of Tom and Katie’s latest dinner reservation. Even if I tried caring for a second about that garbage, it wouldn’t work.

If Paris Hilton coughs, it’s reported. If a character in the Harry Potter series might be gay, the world’s orbit stops.

Stephen King is exactly right. He’s one of the best horror novelists of all time but the freakiest show of all is right here in front of all of us. Spears, Hilton, Lohan or any other of those media tramps would easily deserve “Person of the Year” for the fact that their name alone stops time, or so it seems.

But just because the media pushes slop into our laps doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Turn the page, change the channel or shut off the computer. At times, I envy the Amish.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-12-22T18:35:00.000-05:00

We could all use a visit
from the three spirits...

Over the years there have been dozens of Ebenezer Scrooges from Alastair Sim, Kelsey Grammer, Donald Duck and Patrick Stewart from “Star Trek.” The 1984 TV version with George C. Scott as the bitter old Humbug is the best of all.

It affected me so much as a kid, one night before Christmas I actually heard chains coming up our stairs toward my room. I ran down the hall with my eyes closed just in case Jacob Marley was really stopping by. But that’s not the true meaning of the movie.

“A Christmas Carol” is a simple story that rises above the Chevy Chase “Christmas Vacation” classic or little Ralphie’s bright-eyed dream of a Red Rider BB gun. It comes close to “It’s a Wonderful Life,” but remains a standard due to the clear and much-needed lesson.

An aged geezer doesn’t care about life – past, present or the future – so their respective spirits pay a visit to knock him back into reality. Very simple premise.

Once he awakens, his beautiful life has returned. He sees the value in happiness, family, disabled-but-still-thankful children and however many days remain in his life. Better late than never, I suppose.

Even if we anticipate the holiday season and enjoy everything it has to offer, we could all use a visit from the three spirits. (Minus the creepy dead guy in the chains). During the course of one night, it would be the best lesson to simply understand what we have in our lives.

The past can tell a lot of stories. It can take us back to happier times, younger personalities and more innocent years. Our former years can’t be changed. What happened happened but it can teach us a lot about what’s to come or how we act about things.

There may be regrets, missed chances, lost loves, opportunities gone by, etc. Do we remember them? Do we care? Do we learn from them? That spirit could definitely help.

The present is who we are based on the past. It’s how we treat people now and how we present ourselves now. It’s who we have become based on earlier experiences. Are we happy? Content? Proud? Do some things need to change? Do we have the power to change? That spirit could definitely help.

The future is who we plan to be for the days we have left. The past and present act as supplemental blueprints for the future and, as cliché as it may sound, it’s what we make it. I tell my middle school students all the time that they have the power to do many things – to treat people a certain way, to succeed at what they choose, to emit an image of their own potential. Whether they believe it or not, again, is also in their own power.

A reminder isn’t always a bad thing. In regards to Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries or just normal periods of the year, we could always use the visit of three wise spirits to point us at the obvious, or what should be obvious.

We need a look back into our past – no matter how great we think our lives are. We need a self-evaluation of our present to make sure things are going the way they should. And even though it’s not entirely in our own hands, we need to consider our future and what’s most important to us.

If Scrooge can change, anyone has the ability. Chances are, though, those three spirits won’t be stopping over anytime soon so guess who has the power?

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com. His columns, archives and more are available online at www.cjbarnes.blogspot.com.

2007-12-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

Evel Knievel’s legacy is
that of attitude, not idiocy...

I’m not placing Evel Knievel in the same “hero” realm as our soldiers, fire fighters and police officers, but this credibly-insane daredevil played the part.
Our world certainly has its fair share of nut cases and whack jobs, but Robert Craig Knievel, as his birth certificate states, made a living out of it. We don’t have the type of spectacular stunt shows of the 1970s anymore. These were better than anything on TV or YouTube. He provided true entertainment during a time without Internet or good cable.

Today, if someone drives a car off a cliff just to see if the airbag will help the chance of survival, no one bats an eyelash. Back in Evel’s time, folks drove for hundreds of miles just to see the event, which would take about 10 seconds total from start to crash.
The majority of spectators probably didn’t even want the poor guy to survive. They were there to listen to the countdown, feel the butterflies in their stomachs, close their eyes and wait for the outburst of gasps that rose from the crowd.
When Evel finally passed away a few weeks ago from a three-year battle with a rare lung disease, he had met his match. It wasn’t a huge jump over 15 school buses and there was no canyon over which he was trying to fly. His time was simply up but what a name he made for himself.
If you consider the performers today that can really draw a crowd for doing something extraordinary. Magicians/illusionists David Blaine can freeze himself in a huge block of ice in the middle of Time Square for days while Angel can set himself on fire in a barrel and remain unharmed. Cool, yes, but who cares?
Evel had no tricks. No smoke and mirrors. Just a motorcycle, a gaudy American-flag jump suit with a cape, a devil-may-care attitude and a prayer.
The first show of Knievel and his daredevils was on January 3, 1966, at the National Date Festival in Indio, California. The show was a huge success. Knievel got several offers to host his show after their first performance. The second booking was in Hemet, California, but was canceled because of rain.
The next performance was on February 10, in Barstow, California. During the performance, Knievel attempted a new stunt where he would jump, spread eagle, over a speeding motorcycle. Knievel jumped too late and the motorcycle hit him in the groin, tossing him fifteen feet into the air. He was placed in the hospital as a result of his injuries. When released, he returned to Barstow to finish the performance he had started almost a month before.
From there he made jumps at the Houston Astrodome and the infamous Snake River Canyon, which was a disaster waiting to happen in the first place. What’s most amazing was Evel’s resilience. He broke almost every bone in his body a few times but always came back.
The fans wanted more. They thrived on watching him try, yet relished in watching him fail. Did we really want this guy to successfully make the jump? Sure, it would have been a cool sight to see the landing but we really wanted the “crash, roll and wait.”
It wasn’t the morbidity of watching a man smash into earth. It was knowing that he would eventually get back up – albeit with the help of many hands – and come back to jump over one more bus.
If you read or watch any interviews with Evel Knievel, he wasn’t the happiest of characters. He seemed like the bitter old uncle who would sit on the couch during family functions and just complain all day. But he didn’t care, which is what was so appealing about him.
No one will ever forget the name “Evel Knievel.” Hopefully, no one will ever forget his “never stay down” attitude.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-12-02T18:36:00.000-05:00

It helps to be watched from
above while driving alone...

They’re perfect for those of us who are map-illiterate. The little device spews out directions at every turn and even offers alerts of construction or traffic back-ups. It could be considered man’s (or woman’s) best friend while en route to a destination 3,000 miles away or right up there around the bend.
The great inventors of maps and orienteering never thought the world would eventually have a GPS system in place – one that basically shuts down your brain while behind the wheel. It’s becoming standard in many vehicles and, if not, is flying off store shelves faster than any piece of paper with latitude and longitude lines.

The Global Positioning System (GPS) is a satellite-based navigation system made up of a network of 24 satellites placed into orbit by the U.S. Department of Defense. GPS was originally intended for military applications, but in the 1980s, the government made the system available for civilian use. See? Washington D.C. can be good for something.
GPS satellites circle the earth twice a day in a very precise orbit and transmit signal information to earth. The receivers take this information and use triangulation to calculate the user’s exact location. Essentially, the GPS receiver compares the time a signal was transmitted by a satellite with the time it was received. The time difference tells the GPS receiver how far away the satellite is. Now, with distance measurements from a few more satellites, the receiver can determine the user’s position and display it on the unit’s electronic map. It eliminates the fear of becoming lost.
It’s a beautiful thing but has our world become this lazy that we don’t even want to take the time to open a regular map and try to figure out where we are based on the coordinates? Even when we defy a GPS system’s demands and make a wrong turn, it will readjust the route and try again. It’s a very patient and understanding machine.
I’m waiting for a model to come out that tosses insults your way along the trip. “Really, pal? You couldn’t have figured this out on your own?” “No, idiot, I said left. When part of left sounds like right?” It would give it some personality.
I’d say they are perfect for the lone traveler. Driving safely is tough enough when you’re not dealing with directions on your lap, coffee in the cup holder, a better song on another channel, switching gears (if they even manufacture stick-shifts anymore) and looking for a landmark up the road on your right. For this person, a GPS system is a gift from above.
For the lazy trekker who just wants technology to do everything automatically, it can become yet enough crutch to make our lives require less thinking.
My wife recently upgraded her cell phone, which included this glorious new tool. It definitely comes in handy when the otherwise-popular MapQuest directions would become a shot in the dark.
The trouble is with the $9.99 a month fee, an actual GPS unit would pay for itself in about two years. If any are still left in the stores after Black Friday, it sounds like a good Christmas idea for the both of us.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-12-02T09:27:00.000-05:00

Meatpackers and EMTs
should protest Yankee contract...

Is any man (or woman) truly worth $27.5 million a year? To play a sport? To be the keystone of a professional baseball team and lead that squad to trophy after championship trophy?
Some would say yes but that’s a lot of cash.
Alex Rodriguez and the New York Yankees have agreed to the outline of a record $275 million, 10-year contract. It’s a deal that potentially would allow him to earn millions more if he sets the career homerun record. As if he needs a bonus.
Salary was always an issue in the journalism business. Especially in my seven years in the weekly newspaper business. You really need to enjoy the job and appreciate the affect it has on people to look beyond the paychecks.
Now that I’m in the business of educating young minds, things are a bit better. Still, it’s not like I’m a neurological surgeon, whatever that is; or even a real estate mogul. But even Hollywood’s greatest icons aren’t in the same realm as one Mr. Alex Rodriguez.
OK, he’s a fine player. His bat is certainly superior to his glove and his name alone carries its weight in publicity and headlines. But is any person truly worth such a salary?
Our world has so many good, valuable professions -- no offense to the big leaguers. They get me through a summer, straight into fall. But consider what else is out there.
Pest Controllers must eradicate vermin from rats to cockroaches and crawl into tight, dark, disgusting places. They make $24,120.
Funeral home attendants see dead people all the time. They check in corpses and comfort grieving relatives in the most depressing work environment possible. After all that? A measly $19,200.
Paramedics are front-line medical experts who work awful hours and have a lot of lives in their hands. They work in the cold, in the heat, and if someone dies at the scene, that’s quite a burden to bear. On average? We’re talking $25,450.
How about the slaughterers and meatpackers? Vegetarians couldn’t care less but the beef lovers of the world need people like this to provide meal after meal. And for all that blood, guts and whatever else goes along with it, they don’t bring home much bacon at all. About $20,010 before taxes.
How about a restaurant’s dishwasher? The plates on which you devour all that freshly-slaughtered beef need to be cleaned and sanitized as well and it’s not all done by machines. The germs and bacteria these good folks are exposed to are enough to make a meatpacker wince. It’s a thankless job for $7.25 an hour. And that’s in a nice restaurant.
Pre-school teachers teach the ABCs and 123s. Sure, it sounds easy but $21K isn’t much for all the diapers that need to be changed and tantrums that need to be controlled.
And our brave men and women who patrol the streets, day and night, ready to take a bullet, maybe two. Police officers have it rough. When they clock in, that day could very well be their last. The average salary for protecting our neighborhoods and cities is an embarrassing $42,950. So a baseball “hero” who is a homerun machine (unless he’s slumping) can be worth his weight in triples and RBIs. He may be an inspiration to the kids. He may work hard, exercise, and struggle to maintain a sometimes-fragile public image. He may be away from family for months at a time.
But is any man or woman truly worth $275 million for 10 years of “work”?

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-11-18T10:50:00.000-05:00

Watergate whistleblower is
a guardian angel of journalism...

Carl Bernstein is still a genius and epitomizes the very essence of quality journalism – something that is increasingly dwindling year after year.
Bernstein and fellow Washington Post investigative reporter Bob Woodward were the inspiring sleuth writers who uncovered the infamous Watergate scandal during the Nixon era. Their great work as reporters was chronicled beautifully in the film “All the President’s Men,” starring Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford.
They were and are a fixture in the reporting world but unfortunately the age in which they worked is far behind us and basically forgotten. Thankfully, Bernstein still throws his hat into whatever journalism ring is really left out there and still manages to throw some ethical wisdom our way. To anyone coming up in the field, it’s invaluable.
“A culture coarsened by celebrity news is to blame for inadequate public affairs journalism,” he told a group of college-prep students at the Brunswick School last week. “Newspapers are devoting fewer resources to issues of importance such as the Iraq war and potential abuses of the U.S. Constitution.”
He went on to say that more resources are being devoted to the lifestyles of celebrities such as Donald Trump, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.
“The problems we have in news and journalism are about us not doing our job well enough. The ideal of providing the best available version of the truth is being affected by the dominance of a journalistic culture that has less and less to do with reality and context.”
I love this man. He sees the big picture for what it really is. He still sees a newspaper as a popular and effective medium of delivering the world’s happenings yet recognizes its declining value and offset priorities.
News casts are far more prone to show the carnival agenda – the O.J. Simpson saga; where Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ate dinner last night; how much money Jessica Simpson spent on a pair of shades. Even if I tried, I couldn’t care less about these things.
The trashy entertainment news like the E! channel, which is non-stop celebrity gossip, Access Hollywood, and the waste-of-Internet-space TMZ.com are all prime examples of Bernstein’s argument that we are being conquered by news that isn’t news at all.
The 63-year-old says he believes an “idiot culture” is partly to blame for the dysfunction of political life in the U.S.
Back in the 1970s, when Woodward and Bernstein did their great work together, there were the major newspapers and the three news channels. You watched ABC, CBS or NBC. That’s it.
Now the choices are endless between CNN, Headline News, C-Span, Fox News, MSNBC. Then throw in the Larry Kings, Bill O’Reillys, Chris Matthewses, Shep Smiths, Geraldo Riveras and mix in whoever is still alive from “60 Minutes” and it’s just too much.
They all cover the same stories but from different angles and for different reasons. It’s obvious that there’s an agenda for each one.
Any college campus, of even high school classroom, that still promotes a class in journalism needs to invite Carl Bernstein as a guest speaker. It would be exactly the lesson that’s needed for rookies who truly want to report the news. And reporting the news has nothing to do with who Justin Timberlake was seen dancing with last night on the Vegas strip.
There’s nothing wrong with an Entertainment section but the news is still the news. When the world stops having war, murder, racism, hatred and youth violence, our focus can then turn solely elsewhere.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-11-18T10:47:00.000-05:00

Meatpackers and EMTs
should protest Yankee contract...

Is any man (or woman) truly worth $27.5 million a year? To play a sport? To be the keystone of a professional baseball team and lead that squad to trophy after championship trophy?
Some would say yes but that’s a lot of cash.
Alex Rodriguez and the New York Yankees have agreed to the outline of a record $275 million, 10-year contract. It’s a deal that potentially would allow him to earn millions more if he sets the career homerun record. As if he needs a bonus.
Salary was always an issue in the journalism business. Especially in my seven years in the weekly newspaper business. You really need to enjoy the job and appreciate the affect it has on people to look beyond the paychecks.
Now that I’m in the business of educating young minds, things are a bit better. Still, it’s not like I’m a neurological surgeon, whatever that is; or even a real estate mogul. But even Hollywood’s greatest icons aren’t in the same realm as one Mr. Alex Rodriguez.
OK, he’s a fine player. His bat is certainly superior to his glove and his name alone carries its weight in publicity and headlines. But is any person truly worth such a salary?
Our world has so many good, valuable professions -- no offense to the big leaguers. They get me through a summer, straight into fall. But consider what else is out there.
Pest Controllers must eradicate vermin from rats to cockroaches and crawl into tight, dark, disgusting places. They make $24,120.
Funeral home attendants see dead people all the time. They check in corpses and comfort grieving relatives in the most depressing work environment possible. After all that? A measly $19,200.
Paramedics are front-line medical experts who work awful hours and have a lot of lives in their hands. They work in the cold, in the heat, and if someone dies at the scene, that’s quite a burden to bear. On average? We’re talking $25,450.
How about the slaughterers and meatpackers? Vegetarians couldn’t care less but the beef lovers of the world need people like this to provide meal after meal. And for all that blood, guts and whatever else goes along with it, they don’t bring home much bacon at all. About $20,010 before taxes.
How about a restaurant’s dishwasher? The plates on which you devour all that freshly-slaughtered beef need to be cleaned and sanitized as well and it’s not all done by machines. The germs and bacteria these good folks are exposed to are enough to make a meatpacker wince. It’s a thankless job for $7.25 an hour. And that’s in a nice restaurant.
Pre-school teachers teach the ABCs and 123s. Sure, it sounds easy but $21K isn’t much for all the diapers that need to be changed and tantrums that need to be controlled.
And our brave men and women who patrol the streets, day and night, ready to take a bullet, maybe two. Police officers have it rough. When they clock in, that day could very well be their last. The average salary for protecting our neighborhoods and cities is an embarrassing $42,950.
So a baseball “hero” who is a homerun machine (unless he’s slumping) can be worth his weight in triples and RBIs. He may be an inspiration to the kids. He may work hard, exercise, and struggle to maintain a sometimes-fragile public image. He may be away from family for months at a time.
But is any man or woman truly worth $275 million for 10 years of “work”?

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-10-31T20:34:00.000-04:00

Fine. You want it? Here it is...

The question has come up time and time again. “When will you write about getting married?”
I have tried veering off the road of personal journal-style writing but, hey, you have to please the people.
I’m writing this at 10:10 p.m., Wednesday night, Oct. 24. The Red Sox are crushing the Rockies in Game One of the World Series. It’s a bit cold outside – finally. There’s a bowl of habanero-flavored Doritos by my side, and with each crunch, the thought keeps going around my mind: After a year and a half of meticulous planning, by this time Saturday, I’ll be the most fortunate husband in the world.

And that’s usually where I get the comments. “Sure, you say that now.” “Give it time, man.” “That won’t last long.” It’s all disheartening actually.
Andrea and I have learned a great deal about many things during our engagement. Things about each other, about our future, where we have been and how we have arrived at where we are.
Our biggest lesson, however, is the perception most people have of marriage. It’s not an uplifting reputation we were shown.
They complain – consistently – about their husband. Either he doesn’t do enough around the house, he does the wrong things around the house or he isn’t even in the house. My husband this and my husband that. So I wonder, why did you walk down the aisle?
And the other side is no better. My wife never stops nagging me; never stops bossing me around; never stops trying to change the person I am. She babbles, she whines, she never gives me what I need.
So I wonder again, why did you walk down the aisle?
Few people seem to have positive things to say about their dearly beloved. Even less seem truly happy. But they are not disgruntled marriages – good homes, successful careers, healthy kids. Yet the complaining is incessant.
Beyond their personal gripes, what’s even more disheartening is their determination to make me (or us) believe it’s a big mistake.
“Get out now!” “It’s not too late to change your mind.” “What are you getting into?”
Thankfully, my wife-to-be and I are different. We have grown so much in five years. Living together before marriage – albeit frowned upon by the Catholic church – creates a firm blueprint of what’s to come.
We encountered the bad and conquered the problems. We noticed the little quirks and learned to tolerate them or make them disappear. We learned each other’s routines and have grown to accommodate them.
We have come to respect the other’s individual space and understand that sometimes we just need to go to our separate corners.
All the negative aside, the two of us have learned how well and natural we fit together. We are truly blessed and simply thankful.
No public complaints, no airing of grievances to outside ears, no negative pictures painted of the person we vowed to love unconditionally.
Living together before walking down the aisle has shown us all there is to see. No surprises remain. I’ve seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the overjoyed and the horrendously angered. Naturally, she’s only seen the good because, honestly, what else is there with this?
But most importantly, we are prepared for what is before us and could not be more appreciative of it all. We know why we are walking down the aisle.
As far as the second most popular question: Why don’t you write an entire column on your soon-to-be bride? I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Chris Barnes will be a newlywed by the time you read this. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-10-20T11:08:00.000-04:00

‘A little rum’ shouldn’t
be pushed if undesired...

“I’ll just have a Coke, please,” I said to the bartender. “A Coke? OK, what do you want in it?” he asked, seemingly stunned that a mere plain soda was actually requested. “Ice,” I replied.
What ensued was about a minute’s worth of questioning to determine why I needed, wanted or so boldly asked for a soda, sans liquor. “Not that it matters, but I’m driving.”
“A little rum won’t kill you, man,” he said.
I don’t know if this guy was a rookie, or cocky, or just an ignorant dolt trying to be funny but there is absolutely no reason to 1. Question someone on their drink request as if they’re stupid; 2. Publicly ridicule a paying customer; and 3. (which is most important) Advocate “a little rum” when I’m clearly being the responsible one by abstaining.
Some people – too many people in fact – still don’t get it. They still think it can’t happen to them or just a little bit will be OK. These people who get behind the wheel after imbibing think they are immortal or have some magical shield around them that will ensure a safe ride home.
Bartenders need to not only be aware of this but also watch for it. As much as they are trained to make the perfect Mai Tai and know which liquors shouldn’t be combined, they need to look out for the person who might be reaching for the keys at the wrong time.
Certainly, it is not only the bartender’s responsibility but at the point in time when 10 Budweisers are being chased by whatever they can find in a glass, a sound mind is not in the equation.
But even so, a bartender should not be trying to push a little alcohol on anyone who doesn’t want it, let alone someone who is resisting it so a safe drive home actually is ensured. Unlike the others, I don’t have the magical shield.
Back in my college days, the bars in or around Kutztown wouldn’t charge for soft drinks. If you wanted a Coke, you could have a Coke – for free. Want another? They’d refill it for free. Want a lime so maybe it appears to be a drink, if image is a problem? Fine, here’s a lime.
That’s smart customer service. That’s advocating designated driving. In a world where still too many people think “it” can’t happen to them, we need all the advocating we can get.
If a bartender thinks “a little rum” won’t hurt you, that’s his business. But shut up about it. I don’t want to hear it. If I feel no need to drink, that’s my business. If I feel no need to drink because I want to make sure people get home safely, that’s my business too.
When a little rum gets out of hand, though, it can become everyone else’s business very quickly. If the drinker doesn’t know when to say when, hopefully someone else can give a little push.
More designated drivers are needed. More people to act as that magical shield that has never existed in the first place.
In addition, more bartenders need to be trained in common sense and ethics. That’s the most needed concoction of them all.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-10-20T11:03:00.000-04:00

Our side of the world can
learn a valuable lesson from
the Amish way of life...

It has always amazed me how different the Amish are to us “regular” folk. They don’t need electronics or the Internet to survive, where our lives are literally ruled by MP3 players, online shopping and the new fall TV lineup.
What puts them above most people, however – way above – is an innate sense of forgiveness. A genuine forgiveness that people deserve a second chance and life still goes on. Truly amazing.
Last week, young Amish children piled into a horse-drawn wagon making their way to a farmhouse where they prayed for and remembered five girls killed in a suicidal gunman’s schoolhouse rampage one year ago in Nickel Mines, Pa.

According to USA Today, dozens more Amish families arrived by foot, buggy, wagon and passenger vans, some passing the pasture where the demolished West Nickel Mines Amish School once stood.
On Oct. 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts IV, a 32-year-old milk truck driver, stormed the one-room school armed with three guns, a stun gun, two knives and 600 rounds of ammunition. When it was all over, five young girls were killed and Roberts turned the gun on himself.
It’s hard to believe an entire year has passed since this unbelievable incident that left many people wondering “Why?”
Not that a psycho-killer’s massacre is acceptable anywhere but in an innocent Amish community where these good, old-fashioned people keep to themselves? It was honestly unimaginable. What was even more puzzling, though, was the Amish reaction then and now. They proved why their kind is an inspiration to us in the tainted world.
“Within hours of the shooting, they reached out to Roberts’ family, offering condolences, hugs and support,” wrote Alison Kepner in the Wilmington News Journal. “In the days that followed, they continued to visit, bringing gifts and food. They even invited Roberts’ widow to the girls’ funerals and attended his. They donated money to a fund set up for his family.”
This is astounding. How many of us would take such a forgiving stand if the same situation happened to our lives? Thankfully, the Amish people had a great story that we need to hear.
Steve Nolt has co-written a book titled “Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy,” in the hopes of teaching regular Americans what we can learn from the Amish.
“Their understanding of forgiveness is that it is a long process, that it is difficult, that it is painful, that replacing bitter feelings toward someone is something that takes time, and they would say that happens only through God’s grace,” Nolt said in an interview with USA Today. “But they begin with expressing their intention to forgive, with the faith that the emotional forgiveness will follow over months and years. They don’t begin with trying to blame someone or something.”
Their way of life is so simple and plain compared to our days of rushing around, paying bills, hatred, racism and terrorism. Does an Amish family even know about all the black clouds that loom over our part of the planet? They’re truly better off not even being aware.
But when one of those clouds hovers over their little close-knit town, they still have enough compassion to forgive and continue their routines.
“Even though forgiveness is a complicated and difficult thing, if we approach it with the support of other people – the Amish do everything in community, including their grieving – and if we don’t feel like we need all the emotions sorted out before we extend compassion, the road to forgiveness is easier,” Nolt continues. “In our world today, religion is so often used as a force for division, and here is an example of religion being used for compassion and healing.”
As much as the Amish try to keep their distance from the rest of the materialistic world, this is one time we need their presence and inspiration.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-10-20T11:00:00.000-04:00

No one should wake
up miserable for work...

After a few stepping stones,
I finally found comfort in my classroom

It’s one of the most popular questions asked of adolescents.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer never changed, and remains to this day. “Centerfielder for the New York Mets.”
While that dream hasn’t come true yet, I’ve made a lot of troubled stops along the way to finally feeling happy and content at a job. This year, as I entered a middle school classroom to teach English, everything finally feels right. My mornings have purpose, the afternoons have excitement and the evenings have anticipation for the next day. Everyone is capable of experiencing this feeling and certainly deserving as well.
It’s a sickness from which too many people suffer. Getting up way too early, fighting pointless traffic, clocking in, clocking out and going to bed unhappy. Since our lives are only so long, a job needs to be more than a paycheck. You don’t have to save the world, or cure this Global Warming scare, but making some type of contribution to something makes those hours fly by like a summer vacation.
The road to my comfortable new home – facing about 100 students daily – was rough and filled with much anxiety and frustration. I started out as a clerk and supervisor for CVS/Pharmacy. It was the typical teenage after-school job that paid little and offered nothing by way of advancement. Somehow, it lasted five years.
From there, I tackled a prep station at a local Cracker Barrel restaurant. It was purely awful. The hours were abysmal and management lacked any compassion. My blood pressure forced this job to only last a few months.
My last seven years were spent working in the weekly newspaper business – reporter, columnist and editor in chief of two hometown papers in Quakertown and Saucon Valley, Pennsylvania. They were good years. I learned a lot and got a small taste of what it’s like to “contribute.” A red folder in my attic still has a ton of thank-you cards, e-mails and letters praising my work and decisions. Consequently, there is an equal number of hate mail. I loved it all equally, though.
Still, more was needed. There was no way I would spend the rest of my life staring at a computer screen, surrounded by an ancient yellow brick wall in an office with no windows and crappy plumbing. I need to go to bed each night excited for tomorrow’s agenda. I need to wake up anxious (in a good way) for whatever’s to come before and after lunch. I need to drive home thinking about those students’ faces and what was rolling around their minds.
From today on, there’s nothing else I would rather do. Everyone needs to find this happiness because it can do wonders for extending our years. No one should wake up and be miserable about their job. There’s absolutely no point in that at all.
Some good advice I heard recently was to “make sure you find your genius.” He meant to discover your niche in life before it’s too late. If you’re happy about work – or at the very least, content – the days seem brighter and even a rainy day has some sun.
When I left Cracker Barrel and sliced my final case of lemons, I vowed to find a career that would make me happy while enriching others. In journalism, it came close. I loved it and miss it in some ways. But I needed more. This morning when my alarm clock made its awful sound at 5:25 a.m., my first thought was “All right, let’s do it.” It’s an enthusiasm like no other.
The world of education gets a lot of bad press. Unfortunately, it’s because a lot of the educators don’t belong or are in it for the wrong reasons. Something I’ve come to live by: Doctors and lawyers always have the top two tiers on the job market totem pole. But you only encounter them when they’re needed. Teachers, however, are always in your life and the really good ones stay with you forever.
What greater honor is there? If I would have an off day or two on the baseball field, those New York fans are merciless. Maybe one day, Major League Baseball will come calling. My students would be so proud. Even the Phillies fans. But I could never leave my new home. It took a little while to get where I truly belong but the ride was very educational.
As for now, life is great and the students are getting my very best. And if that boyhood dream of snagging flies at Shea Stadium came true, I would certainly be rich. But considering the Mets’ injury rates and unreliable first-place status, the happiness factor just cannot compare to my classroom.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinon@gmail.com.

2007-09-29T09:46:00.000-04:00

No moms, dads, or grown-ups of
any kind. Will the kids be all right?...

If there’s one thing kids want, it’s autonomy. No parents looking over their shoulders; no teachers assigning homework on the weekends; no grown-ups breathing down their necks, barking out orders and screaming directions.
Thanks to the CBS network, that dream has come true.
It’s getting some controversial reviews but “Kid Nation,” a new reality show debuting this week, is actually an interesting experiment.

Forty kids have 40 days to build a new world without adults to help or hinder their efforts. According to CBS, these kids, ages 8 to 15, will turn a New Mexico ghost town into their new home. They will cook their own meals, clean their own outhouses, haul their own water and even run their own businesses, including the old town saloon (root beer only).
Through it all, they’ll cope with regular childhood emotions and situations: homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule they’ve ever known.
Of course, the nay-sayers have come out of the woodwork for this one, saying the show is violating child labor laws. I’m sure the mighty lawyers of CBS are ready with all possible scenarios that could arise with this interesting idea.
Way too many kids in the 2007 generation don’t know how good they truly have it. And while they may not seem appreciative or remotely grateful for Mom or Dad’s input or guidance, it is all certainly needed.
“Kid Nation” reminds me of a reality show from two years ago on the FX network called “Black and White.” That one, naturally, got the same heat. Through the magic of creative make-up artists and hair stylists, two families switched skin colors and experienced each other’s perspectives. Quite educational, compared to “Temptation Island” or “Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?”

While on the surface, this show seems like a cultural test for tots – almost like an adolescent “Survivor” – the role of good parents is the underlying lesson. How important is it for the parents or guardians to morally and effectively do their jobs? The answer will be clear after even one episode of “Kid Nation,” unless CBS only chooses to show their dominating independence. Hardly likely.
James Poniewozik, of TIME Magazine, offered an interesting view of this show’s inner-meaning, taking a higher road than the simple “labor laws” opinion.
“We are, after all, in the age of the involved parent, or the overinvolved parent,” he writes. “The theory of ‘attachment parenting’ espouses sleeping in the same bed with Baby for early bonding. Schools complain of hovering ‘helicopter parents,’ a label that some moms and dads wear proudly. For the enlightened 21st century parent, quality time has met quantity time. The idea of having kids care for themselves, separate from parents, rings faintly abusive in itself.”
But maybe the little tikes will surprise us. Since becoming a middle school teacher, I’ve been introduced to a lot of “kids.” They’re much smarter than some people give them credit for.
“Kid Nation” could be the best thing that ever happened to their generation. We will see what they can do. See if they can survive without the nagging grown-ups. If not, however, we shouldn’t be waiting with an “I told you so!” After all, they are just kids.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-09-29T09:43:00.000-04:00

We shouldn’t expect cheating
from those who don’t need to...

Cheating – for those who aren’t necessarily proud of it – is a humbling action, if caught.
I can remember a few times slumping down in my chair during a high school class to allow my buddy behind me to copy down some answers. Of course, we both got a high D and the exact same questions either right or wrong. Busted without an alibi.
Now, as a teacher, I strongly prohibit cheating of any kind – naturally, because it’s against school policy but more so because it’s an insult to yourself. Can’t do it alone? Not even going to try? It’s a waste.

That’s exactly the image New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick earned two weeks ago after his team was caught illegally using sideline video equipment to steal signs and plays from the New York Jets.
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell considered suspension but in the end fined the Patriots $750,000 in penalties and the forfeiture of one or more top draft choices.
“This episode represents a calculated and deliberate attempt to avoid long-standing rules to encourage fair play and promote honest competition on the playing field,” the commissioner said to the media.
What is most surprising is the team, and coach, that did this. For the last decade, the Pats have been one of the best franchises in the league. Someone with their caliber shouldn’t be expected to resort to “cheating.” It must be humbling, I would think, for Belichick to now have this looking over his championship-winning squad. Perhaps their trophies and Super Bowl rings weren’t legitimate?
It’s simply a cheap way to get things done. Just like I tell my students – you can do it, so do it. Don’t take the easy way out. When a respected and popular professional coach takes such measures to ensure a win over a dismal team like the Jets, our preaching loses credibility.
The great USA Today handled this situation well, though. Comparing the class and reputation of Penn State’s legendary Joe Paterno to the disappointing Belichick move, the difference is obvious.
Paterno expects a lot out of his players, both on and off the field. PSU players are showing up this fall early Sunday mornings to clean the 107,000-seat stadium. The punishment stems from an incident last spring in which a dozen or more Penn State football players allegedly invaded a party at an off-campus apartment after one was involved in a fight outside.
Paterno called it a “team embarrassment,” and said they were all in it together. This season, they’re all paying for it. That’s class and that’s the type of coach anyone should emulate.
Belichick was a cheater. Evidently he doesn’t enough confidence in his own team and his own coaching abilities.
“So far, Belichick has spent more time trying to change the subject than accepting responsibility,” USA Today wrote in an editorial. “After issuing a written apology, he tersely told reporters the matter is settled and he is focused only on upcoming games.”
Sounds a bit embarrassed and humbled to me.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-09-11T17:12:00.000-04:00

Does an apology even
have any merit these days?...

The words “I’m sorry” used to be the end-all for any quarrel. On the playground, I can remember many times a teacher making me apologize to another kid – even though it would usually be his fault. And then the inevitable handshake. As if that sealed the deal and made everyone forget any negative vibes.
This day and age, we hear those words, but do they really mean anything?
Comedian (from the Golden Age) Jerry Lewis apologized last week for his use of an anti-gay slur during the weekend broadcast of his annual Labor Day Telethon for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.
The controversial remark came Monday afternoon in the 18th hour of the live national telecast, when a visibly weary Lewis, 81, was joking on stage, pretending to introduce members of someone’s family as he mugged for the camera.
“Oh, your family has come to see you. You remember Bart, your oldest son; Jesse, the illiterate fag ...,” Lewis said, as he apparently caught himself and ceased the gag in mid-sentence, turning away from the camera.
And it took that split second for whatever is left of Lewis’ career to teeter on the edge of obliteration. In that blink of an eye, half of his foot went into his mouth and the real meaning behind this great telethon went down the drain.
A clip of the incident surfaced on a number of Internet sites on Tuesday, including TMZ.com, drawing a condemnation from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).
And of course they had to release a statement to show their utter disgust.
“Jerry Lewis’ on-air use of this kind of anti-gay slur is simply unacceptable,” GLAAD President Neil Giuliano said in a statement, adding that the comic’s remark “feeds a climate of hatred and intolerance” that could incite anti-gay violence.
GLAAD urged Lewis to apologize for the comment and asked the entertainer to meet with members of the group “to help him understand why these words are so hurtful.”
This is hardly necessary. Jerry Lewis comes from a different era of comedy. He comes from the time when mocking religions, colors, and sexual preferences were common. If face-to-face meetings were needed after any such jokes were made, Don Rickles would have a full schedule daily.
But like a professional, Lewis issued a statement later in the day through organizers of the telethon saying he was sorry “to anyone who was offended.”
“I obviously made a bad choice of words. Everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard,” he said. “The success of the (telethon) and all the good that will come from it shouldn’t be lost because of one unfortunate word. I accept responsibility for what I said. There are no excuses. I am sorry.”
Lewis didn’t mean to use the word to harm; it was a bad attempt at, what he thought was, being funny. He apologized but still receives flak.
Months ago, radio dinosaur Don Imus had the same problem. He tried being funny on live radio, shooting from the hip but instead kicking himself to the unemployment line.
Imus wasn’t trying to verbally harm the ladies basketball team. It was just a distasteful joke gone bad. He said the magic words and even went so far as to sit down with them. Still, it wasn’t enough, especially for people like “Reverend” Al Sharpton who seemingly sit in a room and wait for situations like this to arrive.
Sometimes, celebrities say the wrong thing. It happens. We all do it.
They try to get a laugh and the tongue moves much faster than the brain. But if they have enough sense to legitimately say “I’m sorry,” should they not be forgiven?
Would a handshake help?

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-09-11T17:06:00.000-04:00

Zombie was the only hope for the
already-dead ‘Halloween’ series...

It sounds funny but Rob Zombie’s new film – the remake of the classic “Halloween” – is refreshing. Not refreshing in the sense of a feel-good kind of movie but more of a “Finally!”
Since John Carpenter’s original hit the screens in 1978, every other film in the Halloween series (with the exception of number II) has been an embarrassment to the Michael Myers image.
Halloween fans are dedicated and they want his creepy mask to be justified. This was never the case in number IV, which was so white and clean, it eerily resembled Michael Jackson. It got worse in number V and began to look nothing like the original, let alone seem creepy.
When talks began to circulate that a remake was in the works, we (the fans) groaned. Why touch perfection? It would be like remaking “Gone with the Wind.”

Carpenter’s masterpiece had everything. It had that scary grainy film look – perfect for nighttime scenes. It had the best (yet simplest) scores of any horror flick. It had suspense – you didn’t see Myers’ mask much. And it had the great Donald Pleasance who absorbed the role of Dr. Sam Loomis. His famous speech about what lies behind Michael Myers’ eyes remains classic to this day.
So who would dare touch our rare favorite? Rob Zombie, I must say, added a touch of relief. He’s a scary-movie buff and loves to add that voyeuristic feel to the camera angles. It’s like we’re in the movie, watching the action, with sudden movements and shaky perspectives.
What do you know? Michael Myers is back on top. “Halloween” has made $44 million so far and remains at the number one spot for the second week in a row. Zombie did the franchise justice.
The toughest part of a remake is that the fans expect a lot. We already know what’s going to happen. We know the story and the characters. So Zombie had the task of making us appreciate what we already knew was there. For the most part, he succeeded beyond our wildest apprehensions.
Tyler Mane was a huge Michael Myers. Possibly too huge. He almost seemed super-hero size. Other than that, though, he brought pride back to the killer’s faceless face. Many Halloween fans judge the movie itself on the mask. We were relieved with Zombie keeping it real.
Malcolm McDowell had the tough responsibility of filling in for the late Pleasance. Considering the popularity of the original role, he did just fine. It wasn’t an impersonation but it wasn’t an all-together different character either.

What Zombie gave us that Carpenter did not was a back story of Myers’ problems. An underlying moral was very clear in the new film – bad parenting could push a kid to murder. Many murders.
Myers’ mom is a stripper and dad is a drunk, foul-mouthed sloth. He gets no love at home or at school where he’s bullied. It doesn’t take long for the blonde, baby-faced kid to wreak havoc on anyone in his path.
This was the best move Zombie could have done. Rather than do Carpenter’s full script in a 2007 setting, he showed us more of how the killer becomes a killer. That is something that, hopefully, Halloween fans can appreciate.
The movie is definitely full of blood and much more gruesome kills than the original. But we want that today. With a million horror movies out there, we want something new and creative. There are only so many ways a knife can be inserted.
I can’t speak for all Halloween faithfuls out there but I’m no longer hesitant. Michael Myers came back into the mainstream of horror spotlights – much more than IV through VIII. True fans won’t consider this a “Halloween 9.” It was simply taking us back to the beginning and reviving a legend who deserved reviving.
Our only hope now is that a sequel to the remake remains only an idea and never becomes a reality. But when Hollywood sees dollar signs, it’s inevitable. Zombie would be smart to stay away.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-09-02T10:36:00.000-04:00

Bookstore’s decision on O.J.
book is anything but ‘Noble’...

The book’s cover speaks volumes. The words “I Did It” are red, large and unavoidable.
If inspected closer, a small, purple “if” can be spotted somewhere within the main title – an obvious ploy of this stupid book’s real storyline.
What’s most troubling about O.J. Simpson’s fictional account of the 1994 murders and how he would have committed them is a major bookstore chain’s decision to go back on its much-esteemed promise.

After saying it would not stock copies of “If I Did It” in its stores, citing lack of customer demand, Barnes & Noble told The Associated Press last week that it would indeed carry the piece of laughable garbage. My words, not theirs.
Since the initial decision on Aug. 21 against stocking the book, but selling it online, Barnes & Noble spokeswoman Mary Ellen Keating told the media, “We’ve been monitoring the pre-orders and customer requests and have concluded that enough customers have expressed interest in buying the book to warrant stocking it in our stores. We do not intend to promote the book but we will stock it in our stores because our customers are asking for it.”
Who cares? “If I Did It” is nothing more than a huge slap in the face of the two victims whose memories seemingly get lost in this three-ring circus. I do not care how O.J. would have killed the very people he supposedly never stabbed. Why would anyone else?
But of course, they will. Weird minds out there will suck this drivel up for whatever reason. And this high (but unfortunate) demand is causing Barnes & Noble to go after the dollar signs instead of holding on to its integrity.
Over the summer, a federal bankruptcy judge awarded rights to the book to (victim) Ronald Goldman’s family to help satisfy a $38 million wrongful death judgment against Simpson. The book will be published Sept. 13 by Beaufort Books on behalf of the Goldman family, which considers the book Simpson’s confession.
Does he really need a confession? His search for the “real killers” – a promise he made years ago to “not rest” until they were found – seems to have been thrown to the Bin Laden back burner. Maybe they’re all hiding together somewhere.
The true authors and meaning behind this book are still vague. Simpson has disowned it, saying he had little to do with its creation. Naturally! The money is no longer going to his pockets. The ghostwriter, Pablo Fenjves, has disagreed, saying “If I Did It” is based on extensive discussions with Simpson.
Again – who cares? I cannot imagine why anyone – in his or her right mind – would want to read this, let alone pay hard-earned cash for it. Even moderately-earned cash.
Granted, the Goldmans are receiving the proceeds but, with all due respect, I hope it’s petty cash.
Barnes & Noble should have been proud of its former decision to ban this trash. It showed some heart and a sound conscience. The new decision to stock the book, albeit without promotion, erases all good intention and empathetic sense.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-08-19T09:07:00.000-04:00

Growing up is about
attitude, not ‘beer pong’...

One of the best gifts I ever received came in a plastic tube covered in ribbon and lace. It looked very elegant and classic. Inside was something simply labeled “Plastic Dog Poop.” And that’s exactly what it was.
Perfect for joking around the house, at the office or freaking out your neighbor. This is the gift that keeps on giving. Not exactly the most mature of actions, especially for a guy pushing 30, recently hired to teach middle school English and on the brink of getting married. But I wouldn’t classify it as any type of “risky behavior.”
Last week, USA Today published a great article describing how our early 20s are the new teenage years. Meaning, a majority of people aren’t “settling down” into a career or relationship as early as before, and continue to rebel against authority, or what society would deem as acceptable actions.
Good timing as an invitation to my high school reunion recently arrived. The price is $35, which includes food and a promise of a “lot of booze.” What seemed a bit odd was the mention of drinking games like “beer pong.” Are they serious?
We are all in our late 20s – some I’d bet have even reached the big 3-0 – and in addition to catching up on our lives – professional, emotional, spiritual, social – they want to get bombed on college-freshmen drinking games? I’ll respectfully pass, thank you.
It’s not that I’m above that type of environment, but I’m beyond it. I’d much rather sit and see photos of your kids than throw a ping-pong ball into a cup, forcing you to chug cheap brew.
“The 20s have always been prime time for risky behavior, from binge drinking and unprotected sex to dabbling in drugs and driving too fast,” writes Sharon Jayson in USA Today. “But new brain research suggests young adults may have less control over these impulses. Neurological areas that regulate impulse and emotions are not fully developed until about the mid-20s, findings show.
“Young people today are delaying settling down into careers and marriage, both of which tend to reduce risky behavior, according to sociologists and psychologists.”
Maybe it’s the fear of getting old and dull. Maybe it’s the reluctance to grow up. I can’t say there are many “risky behaviors” in my daily routine but it has nothing to do with settling down in my career or marriage. My wife-to-be knows all about the “plastic poop” and is fine with it. Can’t say she’s proud, but she’s fine.
Another friend of mine has a legitimate complaint about a just-turned-30-year-old buddy of her husband’s. His eyes will roll with amazement if someone admits to not drinking when going out. He acts as if it’s impossible to have a great time drinking soda.
The 20s – especially the later years – don’t need to be the new teenage years. By then, the rebellious actions should be things of the past. A man’s biological clock ticks just the same but shouldn’t be pressured to marry or be financially secure to prove maturity. It’s simply a matter of growing up.
There needs to be a time where we look in the mirror and realize that those fun, devil-may-care days are memories. We don’t need to wear a wedding ring or have the set-for-life job to prove we’ve grown. It’s all in the actions and attitudes.
“Beer Pong” simply has no appeal to me at this stage of life. The “plastic dog poop,” however, is and always will be a winner.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-08-15T22:51:00.000-04:00

Today’s dinner table doesn’t have
yesteryear’s White House etiquette...

The problem these days with the dinnertime meal isn’t so much a matter of etiquette but if a family even takes a few moments to sit down. Grab a seat, take a plate and get caught up on what happened during everyone’s last 12 hours.
That’s a far cry from any actual issue of etiquette, which is a stranger to many people in the year 2007. Do we really care which fork goes with which course? Must people chew with their mouths open, then suck their gums for all to hear? And forget about the rare gems who pick their teeth (with their fingers, mind you), then re-eat whatever treasure was found in those dark and dusty crevices.

All these little quirks would be grounds for removal from the White House’s dinner table in President Grover Cleveland’s reign. I was recently given “The White House Cook Book,” original 1890s recipes (which are full of lard and sugar) complete with low-fat, no-fat and quick modern versions. Its section on table etiquette is certainly interesting.
If you don’t want to make President Cleveland’s favorite Squirrel Soup – and yes, it is just how it sounds – consider these points of etiquette that were mandatory in the 1890s White House and where your dinnertime rules fit into the equation.
Be careful to keep your mouth shut while masticating the food. It is the opening of the lips which causes the smacking which seems very disgusting. This is a simple rule not followed by many today but the White House made a strict statement of quiet eating back then.
And if buttering the bread seems like an easy task, consider the technicalities that went along with it years ago. A generally neglected obligation is that of spreading butter on one’s bread as it lies on one’s plate, or but slightly lifted at one end of the plate. It is asked that you cut the bread, bite it in small sections after buttering it, and place it in your mouth with a finger and thumb. Never help yourself to butter or any other food with your own knife or fork.
How often do you monitor the manner in which you drink from a glass? It goes without thought. Lift the glass, tilt the glass, slurp it down. Such manners would surely merit an eviction from the White House in earlier times.
When drinking, don’t elevate your glass as if you were going to stand it inverted on your nose. Bring the glass perpendicularly to the lips, and then lift it to a slight angle. Drink gently, and never pour it down your throat like water turned out of a pitcher.
I don’t know how you tackle a “firm pudding” but my weapon of choice would be a nice big spoon. Almost ladle size. Forget that, though. Spoons are sometimes used with firm puddings but forks are strongly preferred. Also, a spoon should never be turned over inside the mouth. I suppose they frown upon the licking of baking beaters as well.
And the biggest problem of all – the picking of the teeth. As mentioned earlier, it’s not only the picking but also the sucking, smacking, removing, studying and re-eating of whatever was found. Not only was this disliked at a White House meal, but it was prohibited in writing.
One’s teeth are not to be picked at the table. But if it is impossible to hinder it, it should be done behind the napkin. (As if that won’t be obvious). One may pick a bone at the table but only one hand is allowed to do so. One is, however, on no account, under no circumstances, to suck one’s finger after doing this.
Our dinnertime rules certainly might not be as strict today as back in 1890s Washington D.C., but a little bit of etiquette can’t hurt. More importantly, however, it’s the gathering around the table that bears the most importance. Enjoy the meal, enjoy the company, tell some jokes and remember what it’s all about. Then clean your teeth in private.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-07-29T21:51:00.000-04:00

Student journalists
need to be educated;
not left to learn the hard way...

I’m not sure how much happens in Oregon, but if student journalists try to liven up their unsupervised pages, chances are they will learn about the suing game a lot quicker than expected.
The state’s governor, Ted Kulongoski, signed a landmark law recently that helps protect Oregon high school and college journalists from censorship by school administrators. The law makes student writers responsible for determining the content of school-sponsored media, and gives them the right to sue schools if they feel free-press rights have been violated.
It is the country’s first law in more than 10 years to protect high school journalists, and the first ever to cover both high school and college journalists under one statute.
While this might seem credible on the surface – and far be it for me to denounce any free-speech arguments – student writers need some sort of monitoring and supervision for a few reasons. In addition, the students should not be given free rein to sue a school because of this.
I’m saying this from experience – both as a student reporter and editor, then an intern. All of it was unpaid because the purpose was the education and experience of learning the business and all that goes along with it. Student writers are just that – writers who are learning the ropes.
This should not entail learning things the hard way. Writing a good newspaper article, investigative piece or the always-popular-but-usually-misused opinion column has its restrictions, limitations, ethical boundaries and standards by which any publication should live. In the actual business outside the classroom, that’s why there are managing editors and publishers.
They are the ones who don’t want to be sued and, believe me, those who threaten have a big bark but no teeth to bite with. In my seven years as a reporter and editor, our newspapers were threatened with lawsuits dozens of times. None ever made it even close to court.
If students are given the sole responsibility of filling up their pages with whatever they desire – especially pages that are usually paid for by local advertisers – they aren’t learning about the journalism business. Number one, they’re under the impression that a newspaper is a free forum for anything and everything, with nobody overseeing its content. Number two, that’s far from the way it actually works.
Lauren Dillard, the editor in chief of The Daily Barometer, Oregon State University’s student newspaper, feels students deserve to have an open forum for their words, ideas and photos – if they are educated properly before going to press. I contacted her for more feedback.
“I feel that students should have free rein with their papers. If schools have the ability to censor publications before printing, they become more like public-relations newsletters,” she told me. “Students must follow good practices for journalism and should never think that they are free of libel and slander lawsuits. Advisors should make sure students are making good decisions and inform students of what material could get them in trouble, but the advisor should not be held responsible for decisions that students make. I think every state should adopt a policy that stops schools from censoring their youth. Students should have the right to accurately and truthfully report on the status of their schools and school districts. I cannot stress enough that journalists must be held accountable for their actions. Student journalists must learn the principles of ethical journalism.”
According to USA Today, opponents of the bill, such as the Oregon School Boards Association, said that students aren’t capable of responsibly editing a newspaper. They said even professional journalists are subject to the editorial control of publishers and owners.
That’s exactly right. But while some students might be capable of editing a newspaper, they should not be expected to do so without supervision. There’s nothing wrong with administrators or supervisors stepping in to say, “This is a bit out of line and untypical of a newspaper’s content. We might get sued for this one.” It’s a different scene altogether to say, “We are getting sued.”
Free speech should certainly be taught but done so in the classroom – by those who know its boundaries in print and speech (revolving around libel and slander, respectively). Student journalists should have every right to express themselves and choose content they feel is merited for that publication.
But they need to be taught the limits and rules, just like the expectations of a real newsroom.

Chris Barnes, a middle school English teacher, is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-07-24T15:13:00.000-04:00

Should an ‘eye for a paw’
be the penalty for dogfights?...

***WARNING*** - A disturbing photo is posted below of a dog after it was thrown into a fight. Awful as it is, the photo may help to describe how heartless Michael Vick (allegedly) is.

The National Football League should take a look at how Nike is handling the disgusting Michael Vick situation. The iconic sneaker and apparel company said last week it would suspend the release of a new signature shoe slated to hit stores Aug. 1.
“Nike is concerned by the serious and highly disturbing allegations made against Michael Vick, and we consider any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent,” Nike said in a released statement. “We do believe that Michael Vick should be afforded the same due process as any citizen; therefore, we have not terminated our relationship.”

He’s lucky for that because in the public’s eye – especially those who love animals – guilty is the charge and the Atlanta Falcons quarterback should be axed from the NFL.
OK, we’ll offer the innocent-until-proven-guilty presumption, but his Virginia property certainly speaks otherwise. Next to his huge house and full-size basketball court, authorities seized 55 pit bulls and equipment commonly used in dogfighting, which seems to be one of the most common but unheard of underground gambling activities.
The indictment stated the most gruesome details: In or about April 2007, Vick (and two friends) executed approximately eight dogs that did not perform well in “testing” sessions by various methods, including hanging, drowning, and slamming at least one dog’s body to the ground.
The biggest problem with all of the facts and allegations surrounding this incident is the little slap on the wrist given to the murderers of these dogs. No wonder pit bulls get a bad name because ruthless people are training them to be killing machines. But when the hammer falls, it’s nothing near the same consequence as the execution of a human.
Vick faces charges of transporting fighting dogs across state lines and engaging in dogfighting. If convicted, he could face six years in prison and a $350,000 fine, which, to any professional athlete, is pocket change.

The punishments handed down in this country are far too lenient for many things, this included. As any dog owner or a lover of pets and animals in general and they would agree. Cats, dogs, lizards – you name it – become actual members of the family. When they pass away, it’s like losing a brother or grandmother. So is six years – if found guilty – a suitable punishment?
Consider what really goes on during these bloody battles of man’s best friend. USA Today detailed it well last week in an interview with Mack Dickinson, a Louisiana state trooper who heads that state’s dogfighting investigations.
“When you go to where these fights have happened, you’ll find a couple of dog corpses or a pit full of blood,” he said. “We’ll open up their kennels, where they put dogs after the fights, and the walls are covered in blood. One time, we found 18 dogs on a scene. One was missing half of a jaw and another suffered from about 70 open wounds. Another had scar tissue covering about 75 percent of its body. At least 13 of them were badly injured.”
Professional athlete or not – those who partake in, gamble on or organize these inhumane battles should get far worse than six years. What would happen if someone slammed a human body onto the ground until he or she was dead?
After a meeting involving NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the Atlanta Falcons, the league will let Vick keep playing. Until a final decision is made, I cannot wait to see the defensive tackles go for his jugular. God help him if they’re dog lovers.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-07-10T08:15:00.000-04:00

‘A Mighty Heart’ continues
where ‘President’s Men’ left off...
To die for the story is the
true journalist’s ultimate sacrifice

“A Mighty Heart” is this generation’s “All the President’s Men.” It’s a film that we in the journalism business need in order to solidify a reason to keep going on.
It’s not that we need a reason to do what we do or stick up for what is reported, but in an alleged dying business of print media, there is still the nostalgic feeling of capturing and fairly reporting the news.
“A Mighty Heart” is the true story of the deliberate, horrifying and unimaginable execution of Daniel Pearl, an innocent Wall Street Journal reporter just doing his job. He was killed by Islamic extremists in Pakistan in 2002.

While the movie’s hype can’t match that of “Transformers” and its budget is nowhere in the same ballpark as “Evan Almighty,” it’s such a great but tragic reminder of the business of chasing the story, knowing just how much danger looms ahead. It’s a thankless job many times but those who are attracted to it, know the dangers of overseas reporting.
“All the President’s Men,” the classic retelling of the Washington Post’s rookie investigative reporters who broke the Nixon-Watergate scandal, brought us up to a certain point. It depicted the digging for the dirt that the public deserves to know and how the news was like a big hunt. Woodward and Bernstein knew their lives were in danger but their headlines triumphed before anyone made a move.
Daniel Pearl wasn’t so lucky. Thankfully, his beheading is not portrayed in the film but what is more gripping is the tension and unnecessary waiting his wife, Mariane, played by Angelina Jolie, experiences. It’s a very “why me?” and “why him?” type of emotion. He doesn’t have to go overseas and report on something that we can see on 20 cable news channels.
Pearl was one of more than 460 journalists murdered in the course of doing their job in the last 15 years. His case, however, had a bright side, if one is even possible. Most of those responsible for his murder have been caught and tried or detained.
More than 85 percent of the others on the list were killed with impunity. Nobody was ever caught, tried, convicted – nothing.
Here’s an excerpt from a recent USA Today article dealing with impunity in journalist murders: “In the Philippines, 22 journalists have been killed in the past five years. In Russia, contract-style killings have become the method of choice to silence critics of corruption in the state and big business. And Mexico, journalists, particularly those investigating drug trafficking and organized crime, have been killed in alarming numbers, making it one of the most dangerous countries besides Columbia in which to report in the Americas.”
Terry Anderson, a former foreign correspondent for the Associated Press and the author of “Den of Lions,” about his seven years as a hostage of Shiite Muslim radicals in Lebanon, spoke out in favor of “A Mighty Heart” as well.
“I am among hundreds of foreign correspondents who defend our colleagues not because of any belief that reporters have any more rights or deserve protection more than others,” he told the AP. “We do it because we know the reporters are the first to be attacked by anyone – governmental or criminal – who needs silence to commit crimes. Those who kill reporters must be tracked and caught and convicted, not just as a matter of simple justice, but to help stem and reverse the tide of eroding freedoms around the world.”
With CNN, Fox News, CNBC, MSNBC, Headline News, C-Span, radio news and Internet coverage, it’s a true mystery that people like Daniel Pearl still hunt that story for a good old-fashioned newspaper. But it will never be a dying business as long as people enter the field to simply report the news at whatever cost.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-07-03T14:35:00.000-04:00

The bald eagle’s coming back...
What does that mean for the U.S.?

Metaphors are a highly-used tool by all writers. They’re a clever trick to compare one thing to another without coming right out and saying it. Some are obvious while others need a bit of digging.
Consider this a metaphor for hope and a huge turn-around this great nation truly needs.
USA Today reported last week that the bald eagle is making a comeback. Our nation’s symbol was once considered almost extinct – from 417 male-female pairs in the continental USA in 1963 to approximately 10,000 today.

That’s an incredible climb from the depths of disappearance to a reassuring renaissance. Sound familiar? Maybe the rise of our country’s iconic mascot is trumpeting the dawn of a new era. A better, healthier, cleaner, safer and stronger era for which the U.S. is due. What better way than to celebrate one of the most beautiful birds being taken off “the list”?
“The bald eagle is no longer in danger,” Environmental Defense representative Michael Bean announced last week. “Its story shows that it’s possible to bring back a species from the brink.”
The Interior Department said the eagle has long since met the recovery goals of federal biologists laid out in the 1980s. The bird was supposed to leave the endangered species list when there were 3,900 breeding pairs in the lower 48 states – a target reached in 1999.
Since then, as reported in USA Today, its population has boomed. It has moved into quarters that biologists never expected, such as next to an airport runway in Florida and close to a highway in Maryland.
The resurrection is a profound statement, if you care to look deeper into such an announcement. Our country’s confidence hasn’t been that high in the past decade. Questionable governmental moves, controversial wars, many U.S. soldier deaths, vetoes on popular ideas, soaring gas prices, deadly floods and raging fires that remove entire communities, more kidnappings and missing-person headlines than the papers can fit and we’re on the verge of the most crucial election ever. The U.S. needs to fly right along with that eagle and get back to where we belong. See the metaphor? Consider the huge statue of Saddam Hussein being torn down by Iraqi citizens a few years ago. The news showed film of some children pulling its head through the streets like it was a little red wagon.
Forgive me for comparing a ruthless dictator to our representation of freedom but the results are similar. The Hussein regime was torn down, while our new leader – whoever he (or she) may be in 2008 – will set us on the new path. Hopefully.
If you look at the eagle’s alternative – complete extinction – we’d be losing our feathered symbol of freedom. Thankfully, there are people out there who refused to let that become an option. And on the same page, we still have good people who want to make this country live up to its standards and reputation.
From the federal government to the local level of representation, and good old-fashioned working Johns and Janes trying to get by in a tough time, there’s evidently hope on the horizon. And up in the sky.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-07-03T14:31:00.001-04:00

Me, Mikey B. and
much more to come...
Going ‘Independent’ is all the rage these days

“And would you like to change your party affiliation for voting?” she asked calmly.
“Um, really? I didn’t know that could be done while updating my driver’s license,” I replied to the less-than-enthused older woman at the desk.
“Well, now you know,” she said. And that was that.
In addition to a nice new unflattering photo, complete with leather jacket and scarf, I was now an official member of the Independent Party and it felt good. It was assuring to know my allegiance belonged to no donkey or elephant. No GOP traditionalists and no bleeding hearts.
I was my own party. My own club. Just me and my thoughts.
There’s no one to influence my decisions or directions other than the issues, stances and platforms of the names running. Me and Mike – independently proud.

When NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg announced last week he was leaving the Republican Party behind to join me and the other Independents, word got out fast.
The billionaire former CEO, who was a lifelong Democrat before he switched to the Republican Party in 2001 for his first mayoral run, said the change in his voter registration does not mean he is running for president.
“Although my plans for the future haven’t changed, I believe this brings my affiliation into alignment with how I have led and will continue to lead our city,” Bloomberg told the press last week. “The politics of partisanship and the resulting inaction and excuses have paralyzed decision-making, primarily at the federal level, and the big issues of the day are not being addressed, leaving our future in jeopardy.”
It wasn’t so much a knock to the GOP, though, but more of a trend we will be seeing much more often. You’ll still have the folks very faithful to their sides but we should see a lot more voters heading to this wonderful land of independence. What’s in a name anyway?
The tax-paying opinionated citizens of this great land should be voting on issues, ideas, topics affecting us all and future plans to improve the state of our union. Why adhere to and limit yourself to just a club’s name? People want independence. They want freedom to head in any direction and not have the Republican or Democratic know-it-alls breathing down every shoulder.
Sure, there’s freedom in those parties but it just feels liberating to be on no one else’s playing field but my own. This will help in the upcoming election – probably the biggest of all time next to 2004’s biggie. The country’s getting tired of partisan politics. It becomes annoying and childish to always play Dems versus the GOP.
While smaller towns are scrounging and sometimes begging to find voters at the local level, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about with national attendance at the polls. Right about now, and for the last few years, there is an overflowing amount of citizens who are mad as hell and who don’t want to take it anymore.
There is also the other side that sees no wrong in the decisions made by our leaders. And then there are the Independents. There will be more of us to come. It just seems to fit in a country that’s supposed to be united but is all too divided by party names.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-06-08T22:59:00.000-04:00

Resurrection of genre proves
Springsteen’s legendary status...
New DVD could be the best thing ever recorded. Seriously.

If anyone can reinvent himself time and time again, go back to his roots and then head in some new direction, yet still create amazing products, it’s the Boss.
Since the early 1970s, Bruce Springsteen has been sending rock waves through the American songbook, singing about the blue-collar workforce, the bond of lovers and the state of our union. After 9/11, he released “The Rising,” an indirect soundtrack of resurrection that this country surely needed.
In 2006, however, the icon with a thousand voices recorded “We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions,” a collection of classic folk tunes that would remind anyone of campfires, backwoods hiking or Mark Twain. This was classic Bruce – entering a different genre and paying tribute to a golden era of simple but incredible music.
“Recording this album was a carnival ride,” Springsteen said in a 2006 interview. “Street corner music, parlor music, tavern music, wilderness music, circus music, church music, gutter music, it was all there waiting in those songs – some of which are more than a hundred years old. It rocked, it rolled, it swung. It was a way back and forward to the informality, the freeness and the eclecticism of my earliest music and then some.”
If that album wasn’t enough, Springsteen has released the ultimate recording – “Bruce Springsteen and the Sessions Band Live in Dublin.” Songs from the Seeger album and classic Bruce hits retooled with a saloon style or even a waltzy feel. What makes this DVD beyond enjoyable – for Springsteen fans or not – is the musicianship and talent of this band.
Two fiddles, an accordion, jazzy piano, banjo, guitars, organs, a killer group of back-up singers and one of the best horn sections I’ve ever heard – seemingly plucked from the streets of New Orleans. The music is fun, lively and party-ready, especially for the sold-out Ireland crowd.
And I’m not alone here.
“Sometime, somewhere, a more dramatic and exhilarating confluence of music with moment may have existed... But in nearly 40 years of concert-going, I haven’t witnessed one,” said the Los Angeles Times. The Washington Post declared, “It was the best live show I’ve seen in at least five years. And I’ve seen a few.”
They’re all right. But even experiencing this DVD without any Springsteen allegiance is an unbelievable celebration of great music with such quality professionalism and attitude. The arrangements in classic Boss hits like “Atlantic City,” “Growin’ Up,” and “Blinded by the Light” show exactly what a genius Springsteen is.
Completely changing your own great song can be frowned upon in the industry but to do it with such perfection is what gives him the Boss status.
And if the encore of “When the Saints Go Marching In” – sung softly with much sincerity – “This Little Light of Mine,” and “American Land” don’t send chills through your bones, check your pulse.
Springsteen proves again why he is an American legend of music to resurrect a classic era of song and shock it back into life. The songs are timeless but the manner in which they’re presented here is unmatchable. I love his days with the E Street Band but if Springsteen recorded The Seeger Sessions Volumes II, III, IV and however many he can muster up, there should be no complaints.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-06-08T22:54:00.000-04:00

He punched. The man died.
Is involuntary valid?

Call it “involuntary” but an unidentified higher power had no help in the fatal punch being thrown. It’s sometimes called “criminally negligent homicide” and occurs where there is no intention to kill or cause serious injury but death is due to recklessness or criminal negligence.
I don’t think the case of a Kutztown man involved an intent to kill but his sentencing trial last week handed down 20 to 60 months in state prison. Is that fair for literally knocking out someone’s life… at a wedding?
Mark Wells, 27, of Kutztown, was a wedding groomsman one year ago when he got involved in a post-reception brawl at the Holiday Inn Conference Center in Fogelsville. A punch he landed on the bride’s uncle’s head caused death 34 hours later. Before the trial, Wells apologized and said it was a “horrible accident.”
According to reports, several members of Wells’ family broke into tears when he was handcuffed and led away. Quite the opposite of a poignant photo in Allentown’s daily paper The Morning Call that showed Wells and loved ones smiling and in good spirits as they approached the court house. When a man dies in an unprovoked attack, where’s the cause for any sort of happiness – especially when you’re the accused?
A major point here is that James Schickling, 49, a Philadelphia postal worker had a fractured skull and a bleeding brain hours after celebrating his niece’s wedding. The supposedly happiest day in the world will forever be tarnished for both sides by this black cloud.
Judge Edward D. Reibman acknowledged that “Mr. Wells doesn’t come through as a bad person.” But he added, “What he did was bad.” Besides the prison term, he ordered Wells to pay court costs plus restitution for grief counseling Schickling’s family has been receiving.
In actuality, Mr. Wells probably isn’t a bad person. But wedding receptions can be a very vulnerable place with many outside elements altering people’s actions.
But here’s the problem, which leads back to the questionable sentence. Judge Reibman said he was “bothered” because Wells, who pleaded guilty to the first-degree misdemeanor in April, was involved in previous incidents in which alcohol fueled “violent behavior.” One led to an aggravated assault charge that was dropped when he pleaded guilty to summary disorderly conduct.
Another key fact is that Schickling was not involved in the brawl, which contained about a dozen people. No reason for the conflict has been publicly disclosed.
I feel very sorry for the bride who, thankfully, has been kept out of news reports. This poor woman waits for that one special day that will live as a never-ending memory and this is what happens. Forget walking down the aisle, forget the kiss and the first dances.
Remember our wedding, honey? It was the one with the 12-person brawl and my uncle was (involuntarily) killed by a punch to the head. Simply awful.
What’s unclear, though, is the “involuntary” description. Wells, I will assume, did not have any intention of killing anyone that day, especially the bride’s uncle. But his fist was intentionally driven into someone’s skull – not in self-defense. The man died a little more than a day later. There is nothing involuntary about that.
According to reports, family members and friends on both sides would not comment after the hearing. But Rita Marquette, mother of Wells’ fiancee, Megan Marquette, said Wells’ relatives wanted “a lenient sentence and no jail time” so Wells could return to chiropractic school in upstate New York.
In 2003, Wells pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct after a disturbance in a bar in which someone was hit with a bottle, according to testimony. Questioned by Jenkins, Wells denied fighting in the bar and said he only pleaded guilty to avoid spending money contesting more serious charges in court.
The other incident occurred in 2002, when Wells pushed a man who had shoved Wells’ girlfriend onto a bench, according to testimony. Wells said he acted only after the man approached him in a threatening manner.
So a man is dead – an uncle who was celebrating the nuptials of his niece. A wedding day is forever poisoned. The defendant had prior instances of alleged anger-related tirades.
The question returns. Is 20-60 months a fair sentence?

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-05-29T22:22:00.000-04:00

Paterno puts up with no
trash, but his athletes will...

Being held accountable for actions is a big part of the college experience. All too often, though, the collegiate-level athlete is given free passes to help achieve the big win or to reach the playoffs.
Coaches, professors and administrators will do whatever is in their power to look the other way or offer the press a bunch of smiles in exchange for a scoring success.
But the legendary Joe Paterno is old-school. He believes in discipline and wants his school’s reputation to be strong and full of values. This is why the 80-year-old Penn State icon is not only crucial to football, but for the student body as well.

This spring, six Penn State football players were arrested and charged for crimes stemming from an off-campus fight in which at least 15 Nittany Lions were present. The charged included a couple of star players, although what apparently bothered Coach Paterno the most was how many of his kids were willing to be involved.
He will let the local legal and student judicial process play out, but in addition to that, he decided that to keep people from thinking his team was trash, it will spend the fall cleaning it up.
Paterno announced that his Penn State football team will clean Beaver Stadium (107,282 seats) after each home football game this fall. The student athletes will gather garbage, sweep stairs and maybe even hose parts down.
This is a job that usually goes to members of club sports on campus – lacrosse or rugby – which do it to raise money so they can compete. Paterno said the clubs will still get the $5,000 for the job, but his boys, possibly sore from playing 60 minutes of major college football the day before, will do all the work starting Sunday morning.
Paterno has proved time and time again that he expects the best out of his players both on and off the field. They need to not only try, perform and achieve into the end zone, but carry out the responsibilities of good-natured young adults too.
“We’re all going to do it, everybody,” Paterno told the Harrisburg Patriot-News after a banquet in suburban Philadelphia. “Not just the kids that were involved because we’re all in it together. This is a team embarrassment. I wouldn’t call it anything much other than that.”
What Paterno did was his responsibility as coach. He’s not just mentoring these kids into throwing the best pass and running the fastest down the sidelines. He’s preparing them for life and for that elusive “real world” that college seniors desire so badly. He didn’t care about the bad press affecting the Penn State name.
It’s a name very hard to damage. And to people like me who have only known Penn State football to involve the words “Joe Paterno,” nothing negative can really happen on his watch. Trouble is, what happens when the big guy is finally not there? Talk about big shoes to fill. Paterno’s a class act in every sense of the word.
In this fighting case, who was right and who was wrong still is being sorted out by the courts. But not by their coach. The details don’t seem to matter to him.
“I just thought that we had 14, 15 kids – I don't even know how many – that were involved in something embarrassing, and I think that we need to prove to people that we’re not a bunch of hoodlums,” he said.
Being held accountable is important but what’s even better is that there is someone there willing to hold people accountable and not look the other way.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-05-15T15:26:00.000-04:00

Stop the whining and take
your sentence like a woman...

I cannot stand Paris Hilton. Cannot stand her.
She could shower in hundred-dollar bills, burn a million and then wipe out her entire bank account during an afternoon shopping trip in Beverly Hills, yet still go home to fortune and so-called fame.
I detest the way she struts her arrogance wherever cameras follow and really despise how the media continue to shove her holier-and-richer-than-thou face down our regular-class throats. She has contributed nothing to society and is annoyingly famous for simply being famous and annoying.
So to be honest, yes, I was quite pleased with her 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. A judge ordered her to report to the women’s jail in Lynwood, Calif., by June 5.

It serves her right. Her “celebrity” status should hold no precedence over the laws that we, the regular people of the world, must abide by as well. And if her late-night partying with Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears tends to become a bit intoxicated, they are adults – believe it or not – and still need to keep the roads safe.
I think she would be more apt to take the sentence like a woman. Even Martha Stewart did her time. If Ms. Hilton would simply sashay her Gucci ensemble into the jail for a little more than a month and get the deserved sentence over with, the Paparazzi would still be waiting for her at the end of the tunnel and life would be normal again.
By crying, whining and hiring as many publicists and lawyers as possible now to reduce a measly 45-day sentence, it makes her even more intolerable.
But like a typical Hollywood ending, the hotel heiress may spend far fewer than 45 days in county jail because of state policies and jail overcrowding, authorities said last Thursday.
She could spend three weeks or less behind bars because of a state requirement that grants inmates time off for good behavior and because of overcrowding in the system, Los Angeles County sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said.
“It’s possible that it could be 21 days, 23 days. It’s a complicated formula that the state sets down. It’s possible that she could do less time,” Whitmore told The Associated Press.
As for overcrowding, “our jail is bursting at the seams” and some women inmates have been released after serving only 10 percent of their sentence, Whitmore said.
This will send such a bad message to the rest of California or anywhere else in the country where jails are overflowing, which is just about anywhere. Plus, people like the Hiltons who have more money than they’re able to count believe they can buy and sell anything and anyone.
Have a problem? Hire someone to fix it. He didn’t work out? Hire someone else.
The dollar signs can sometimes be the best mediator in any Tinseltown argument. But Paris needs to go directly to jail and not collect $200 – like it would even matter anyway.
Serve the entire sentence. I don’t care if there’s no room. California’s a big state. Find room. Give her a dose (albeit minor) of the real world. She needs to know if you screw up, you should pay – no matter who you are or how many second-rate TV shows you have on the FOX network. No cell phones, no publicists, no free cars, no all-night clubs, no thousand-dollar handbags for stupid little dogs. Just the due consequence.
Hilton intends to appeal the entire sentence. What an immature and childish move. And her fans have posted a petition on the Internet urging Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon her. In a wise statement last week, the Governator said he has much more pressing issues to tackle.
This story needs to go away. Paris Hilton needs to go away. At the very least for 45 days. Then she can saunter out of the slammer with her runway model walk, battle the lightning strikes of tabloid flash bulbs and jump back into whatever it is she does. If anyone ever finds out, that would make a great story. I’m sure even Paris has to wonder what Paris’ purpose is.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-05-12T23:04:00.000-04:00

Video game moderation
needed at all ages...

It was a gorgeous Saturday afternoon for a party. Blue sky, a few clouds here and there and a welcoming 75 degrees. But where were all the adults? In front of a TV playing video games without a care in the world.
Teenagers get the bad reputation of being addicted or attached to their video game systems and usually it’s a valid argument. When 3 p.m. rolls around and school’s out, there’s no other place they’d rather be than in front of a flashing screen killing zombies, racing cars or whatever else those fantasy games offer these days.

But the older generations are just as much to blame. A new survey from the Consumer Electronics Association finds that roughly one-third of adult “gamers” spend 10 or more hours per week playing console or PC-based games. Does that sound about right?
In actuality, the grown-ups are way ahead of the youngin’s: only 11 percent of teens spend an equivalent amount of time on video games. The study did find adults aren’t as keen on portable gaming as teens: only 25 percent of adult gamers who own a portable gaming device reported having used it in the last six months, compared to 77 percent of teens.
This is where someone needs to step in with some much-needed sense. Teens shouldn’t make these systems part of their daily routines, which is normally the case. They rely on Nintendo Wii, X-Box or Playstation and whatever else will come out tomorrow or the next day to be the only source of entertainment and sometimes even an education.
Games will hold precedence over studying for a test, working on a project or completing a simple homework assignment. And for the bigger gamers out there, the controls are in their hands before the car keys are even thrown on the counter. Things get even worse if there are kids in the house and dad (or mom) can’t tear themselves away from Grand Theft Auto or Madden All-Star Football. If parents become addicted, there’s no sense in setting a schedule for the younger ones.
Please understand I’m not denouncing the fun altogether. Visually speaking, video games of 2007 are amazing in quality and realistic feel. If you look quickly at any sports game, it’s indistinguishable from the real thing.
And I grew up in the age of Atari and the original Nintendo. We had Frogger, Pac-Man, Super Mario and Duck Hunt. Hours felt like seconds when you were winning and if you were losing, then it was all the more reason to keep playing.
These days if parents are allowed (or even asked) to join in on the fun, it can only benefit the relationship with children. The CSA gives four very good reasons why mom and dad might be competing against their kids on the screen: Because they’re asked to play (79 percent); it’s fun for the entire family (75 percent); it’s a good opportunity to socialize with the child (71 percent); it’s a good chance to monitor game content (69 percent).
The last one is the best way for any concerned parent to ensure the game is actually entertaining and not one that includes killing cops or soliciting prostitutes. It’s the very essence of quality parenting.
But regarding the hours played, there needs to be limits – for adults and teens. On that Saturday afternoon, there was no reason for older folks to be crowded around a TV in a living room. Same thing goes for this summer.
Rainy days are best for video games. Even on the sunny weekends, it’s not a bad thing but there needs to be moderation. Teens should keep the “entertainment” to a minimum and then get outside. Breathe in the air and get some exercise. That’s what the summer vacation is all about.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-04-30T21:13:00.000-04:00

MySpace makes an
‘impact’ on 2008 election...

It seemed funny that Dennis Kucinich had a MySpace page. This had to be a joke by someone trying to impersonate the Democratic Presidential candidate.
But Giuliani had one as well. And McCain. Obama and Clinton. Either somebody out there has a lot of free time on his or her hands, or the upcoming election is getting a jump-start on reaching a younger voting demographic.
The MySpace industry is huge – beyond huge. If you have teenage children, chances are they have their own “space” with pictures, diary entries and friend lists. So what better way to reach those young, up-and-coming members of the next generation than with the media monster they use to keep in touch?
MySpace did wonders for the computerized war movie “300,” which came out a few months ago. In the beginning the film generated some talk and curiosity but once it partnered up with MySpace and allowed each member to post unlimited photos on the pages – compared to a maximum of 15 – all of a sudden, “300” was everywhere.
The public relations team was wise to approach their audience with this popular tool. The same effect could very well happen with the 2008 election, which Tim Russert is calling the most talked-about and important election in our country’s history. And he’s exactly right.
In terms of the state of our union, things aren’t exactly in the best shape.
Our troops are still somewhere over there, doing something for whatever purpose they’re being told. Some of the 20-some candidates want to keep them there. Some want to send more. Some want to bring them home the day they take the oath. So with the issues at hand, and a lot of “house cleaning” looming at the start of the term, it’s actually amazing so many people want to take over the controls.
But let’s be thankful for them and their desires. Their stances should be heard and each person should be given a fair shake. Since there are so many names in the ring, the voting public will have a lot to decide and differentiate.
With this new MySpace aspect of reaching the communities at any age level, that voting public might grow in large numbers, which is exactly what this “biggest election” needs. We don’t need the same old numbers coming out and offering their selections. The younger age brackets matter just as much and the PR gods know it.
Years ago, a similar tactic was done using the music network MTV with a “Rock the Vote” campaign. The idea was to make politics look cooler than just old folks in suits proposing laws. It worked, for the most part. Younger people were getting involved and learning the issues. Better yet, the realization was made that they were part of the solution and had a say.
So here we go with Rock the Vote Part 2: The MySpace Invasion. If it worked for the movie world, chances are it won’t hurt with politics. And the campaign PR folks deserve credit. They’re going right to the source. They know exactly how many younger folks use MySpace on a daily basis.
For now, they’re marketing toward the 18-and-up groups but those who are below the legal voting age today will acquire the same right in the near future. Better to get them started early.
Check out more at impact.myspace.com. This is a prime example of using the Internet for worthy principles.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-04-15T17:24:00.000-04:00

Enough racial analyses
of Don Imus’ idiocy...
Radio veteran misspoke but didn’t deserve firing

First off, yes – Don Imus’ comments toward the Rutgers University women’s basketball team were stupid, pointless, offensive, disgusting and embarrassing. But enough already. It’s more than enough.
The radio veteran – annoyingly known as a “shock jock” – simply did what he has always done. He speaks without thinking and goes for, yes, that shock effect. Calling the college women-athletes – most of whom are black – “nappy-headed hos” was just playful banter in his unscripted and unfiltered universe.

There was no inner-voice veering him in another direction and no angel sitting upon his shoulder trying to promote another term. Imus simply shoots from the hip instead of the brain, but that has been his forte for decades. The media onslaught that has been covering this, analyzing it, debating over it and analyzing it some more is beyond ridiculous.
Does anyone else think that racism is only highlighted so much because we allow it to be?
Hang on, dear reader. Don’t go calling for my firing so fast. Consider a few things.
Were Imus’ words racist? Definitely. Were they sexist? Very much so. Was it necessary to snowball them into a huge debate over his future in the business, if he would even have a job, and the unbelievable pain this has caused the team? Not in the least.
I do not like Imus. Never have. I don’t even listen to him. Had this event not become a news monster, I – and many others – probably wouldn’t even have known about it.
He has pioneered a section of the radio medium that has tapered off to a select few with Howard Stern at the top followed by his wannabe imitators. Stern is who he is – no one should expect more or less from him. Women, for example, should not be surprised that he uses lesbians for ratings. So why the abrupt controversy with Imus now?
Again, before you hop on my words – I do not support Imus or his comments in any way, shape or form. But he has been saying things like this for years. His immature and grouchy tirades have singled out homosexuals, Arabs and Jews just to name a few. He is in the habit of hating everybody equally, and gets paid quite handsomely for it. So was his fire just doused with more fuel?
Leading the pack of protests, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson jumped on these comments before Imus even went to a commercial break. They are proud of their heritage and who they are. I give them much credit for that. But the second a disparaging word is said about the “color” they hold dear, the race card is dealt and their house always wins.
Sharpton, in particular, called for Imus to be fired immediately. The First Amendment – something Mr. Sharpton stands behind quite frequently – was not evidently available for Mr. Imus, ignorant as the words may have been.
As the snowball grew larger, Imus deserves credit for the way he handled the situation. He accepted an invitation to appear (and knowingly be roasted) on Sharpton’s radio program, in which he was simply shot down and called a racist.
When Imus was actually allowed to speak, he again displayed his regret, which seems sincere. But he also showed who he is and always has been – a grumpy old (rich) man who says what he thinks before thinking if he should really say it.
Imus even met face-to-face with the Rutgers ladies in an attempt to right his wrongs. He has admitted to saying something highly offensive, he has shown regret and is doing whatever possible to alleviate the problem. That is, of course, not enough for Sharpton et al, but does he truly want this battle to end? It’s enough already.
We don’t need any more analysis of Imus’ racism. We don’t need those so-called “social advocates” turning an idiotic, foolish molehill of a statement into a mountain of hatred toward black women.
Is Imus racist? Probably. Was his intention of the “nappy-headed hos” comment to intentionally slander a race or sex and induce harm? I hardly think so. It was simply an aging curmudgeon trying very hard to be funny with little to no success. Imus was being Imus and whatever listeners he has left would have probably been the only folks to hear the insult if the little ball of snow hadn’t been forcefully pushed down the hill and into the hungry media arena.
We are not born racist. It’s a learned trait taught by those who want to, for whatever reason, keep the hate alive. Sometimes I believe it would slowly die a much-deserved death if those who are trying to abolish it would just stop thrusting it into the spotlight.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-04-10T21:32:00.000-04:00

Mentors needed: Your
bright-eyed readers await...

There was a book called “One Story a Night” that my father would read to me as a child before bed. Just a few short paragraphs next to drawings of chipmunks and raccoons climbing into a tree or playing in a park. Nothing special and nothing long – but it was a nightly story nonetheless.
Twenty-some years later, those ritual readings’ purpose could not be clearer.
The other day I had the pleasure to witness a similar situation from a different perspective. I observed some good-hearted eighth-grade students of Lower Macungie Middle School take a small hike over to the elementary building – books in hand. Their little audience was more than ready.
The kindergarten students of this East Penn School District building were so excited, you would have thought their favorite movie stars were walking through the doors. About once a month, the eighth-graders choose a book – “Green Eggs and Ham,” “Peter Pan,” “Dumbo,” you name it – and read to some curious little guys and girls.
I guess my feelings and desires to read voluntarily had waned over the years from being forced to open so many books in middle school, high school and college that the fun of it got lost within the pages. Thankfully, the little bright-eyed kindergartners had no such problems. They could not wait to listen to the stories, see the pictures, ask questions and find out what happened at the end. And they are at the perfect age to instill this meaningful practice.
My main focus, however, was on the eighth-graders’ reading and their understanding of why they were really there. Some got it but others might not have realized their importance. I truly hope they understood how much the reading meant to those young eyes and ears. Their interest in the book was more than stimulated but more importantly, it was the act of reading itself. If an eighth-grader (who is such an adult to them) thinks it’s cool, how can it not be?
Every English class in every school in every district should do something like this. Sure, teachers can read to the students but it’s that outside source – another student from a higher level – that can drive the point home.
Those eighth-grade students are the main focus in this monthly exercise. Reading to kindergarteners – making it seem cool to open a book. I hope it truly sank in for them.
If children are introduced to reading at an early age, the chances are much higher that they will practice it independently and even want to do it willingly. Maybe not in high school and college where reading seems to become a chore but then again, is it the content students are reading that eliminates the desire?
Too often I hear students moan and groan about opening a book. It’s just so much easier to watch TV or rent a movie where the work is all done for them. This is a problem that needs to be eliminated but it can’t be done by making an English class seem like a chore.
The books need to talk to the growing minds. No offense to “1984” or “Fahrenheit 451,” but where’s the connection? Can a teenager really grasp much from “The Great Gatsby”?
There is a perfect adolescent book called “Speak,” about a young girl trying to find her place in a new school. She has a hard time making friends, doesn’t want to join the hallway cliques, and finds many of the assignments to be boring. Her art is the only medium in which she can use her voice.
Sound familiar? This type of novel is exactly what a student – especially one who doesn’t like to read – must be handed. Connection. A relationship. An understanding of struggle. A hope for a solution. Again, nothing against “The Grapes of Wrath,” but the books need to speak to the students.
It’s that link to the story that can easily alleviate those moans and groans and rekindle an excitement for the written word. Until that’s prevalent in schools, at the very least, start the interest early. Send some older kids to the elementary rooms. Read to them. Show them the pictures and jump-start their curiosity.
It can be something as simple as chipmunks playing on a swing but it’s something that, later in life, will mean a lot.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-04-06T16:14:00.000-04:00

A Norwegian scientist
walks into a lab…

“My grandfather always said, ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.” – Jackie Mason.

My point? Laughter really is the best medicine and we have to look no further than George Burns, Milton Berle and Bob Hope for proof. They were three of the greatest comedians in the history of the world – each either reaching or approaching 100 years of life.
Comedians, as a stereotype, have something to prove. They have some sort of inferiority complex that needs humor to alleviate inner-problems. Or they just thrive on making bellies ache.
Whatever the case may be, the life of the funny person might truly be longer based on a new study that links a sense of humor to survival. Leave it to a Norwegian to come up with this funky statistic – that’s humorous in itself.

Sven Sveback, of the medical school at Norwegian University of Science and Technology, has come up with the conclusion that adults who have a funny bone outlive those who don’t find life comical. And the survival edge is particularly large for people with cancer, he says.
Last week, Sveback released his study of about 54,000 Norwegians tracked for seven years. In the beginning, patients filled out questionnaires on how easily they found humor in real-life situations and how important a humorous perspective was. The greater the role humor played in their lives, the greater their chances of surviving the seven years, according to this mad scientist.
Adults who scored in the top one-quarter for humor appreciation were 35 percent more likely to be alive than those in the bottom quarter. In a subgroup of 2,015 who had cancer diagnosis at the start, a great sense of humor cut someone’s chances of death by about 70 percent compared with adults with a poor sense of humor.
It’s possible – if we take into consideration the hard work put forth by this tireless Scandinavian silly man – that laughter really fulfills life. The three classics mentioned earlier lived a century. Can it be a mere coincidence? Allow me, for a few brief minutes, to offer you the gift of life.

A man goes to the doctor only to find out he has six months to live. “I suggest, in these last few months, you live every day to the fullest and make yourself as happy as humanly possible,” the doctor advises. “OK, doc, I’ll do just that,” the man says and walks out with a mission.
The last time he had ever felt complete peace and happiness was back in World War II when he was stationed overseas and, during an off day, walked into this quaint little café in the German mountains – way above sea level. He sat down and, with bombs exploding below, had the absolute best slice of Bavarian cream pie known to man. “Those were the best five minutes of my life,” the man thought and realized what the last thing is he would ever do to find happiness.
So he set out of his Florida home and drove North. After about 1,500 miles, the man stopped for dinner. While inside the restaurant, his car was stolen. “It’s OK. Nothing’s keeping me from gettin’ that pie,” he said. So he hitched a ride with a trucker, who seemed a bit sick since he was coughing and sneezing up all sorts of stuff. After about four hours, the man got out – completely sick, in need of a tissue and a warm bed. “No bed for me. Nothing’s keeping me from gettin’ that pie,” he said. He eventually walked to the shoreline of the U.S. and stepped on a horseshoe crab. While holding his foot from all the pain, a seagull swooped down, grabbed the crab that was holding his leg, and flew away taking the crab and the man’s leg with it. “I don’t need both legs to get that pie,” he said.
He found a boat and started sailing his way to Germany. After a few hours, a killer whale (out of nowhere) jumped up into air with a magical swirl, did a few flips, and came crashing down on the boat. He broke his remaining leg but struggled on with the mission.
He gathered up all the strength possible and swam his battered and almost-deceased body to Germany, hitched a ride, traveled piggy-back on some other back-packers and finally, thanks to the last taxi available in the country, found the mountain he climbed back in WWII. His last moment of happiness was almost found.
With whatever power was left in his body, he shimmied up the side of the mountain until coming across the very same quaint little café. He crawled inside, climbed into a booth, and waited for what he dreamed about since that doctor’s visit revealed the bad news.
“What’ll ya have?” the waitress asked.
“Ma’am, I want you to bring me the largest slice of Bavarian cream pie you can find in that kitchen.”
“I’m sorry, sir, we’re out of Bavarian cream pie today,” she replies.
The man says, “OK, I’ll take peach.”
That, my friends, is the best joke of all time. It must be worth a few extra days. You’re welcome.
Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-26T18:41:00.000-04:00

No sunset ride for
Captain America...
What lies behind the death of the
comic book superhero?

Steve Rogers did a lot for the USA. He battled Adolf Hitler, World War II bad guy Hideki Tojo, international Communism and a truckload of supervillains – all desiring to take down the country he loved.
In the end, Rogers – aka Captain America in the comic book world – couldn’t survive a sniper’s bullet last week and was sent to the great drawing table in the sky to join fellow heroes like Superman, whose death hit newsstands in 1993.
About a year ago, I wrote how the world (and this country) needs a hero, in reference to Sylvester Stallone resurrecting the Rocky character for one last bout. Now we have lost one of our last great protectors – albeit in print and ink. Captain America lived a tough but strong life and never lost focus of his responsibility in the superhero fantasy world.

What’s ironic, though, is the manner in which Marvel Comics writers chose to bring his time to an end. In the series, Rogers was to stand trial for defying a superhero registration law passed after a hero’s tragic mistake caused a 9/11-like event. He eventually surrendered to police and was later mortally wounded as he climbed the courthouse steps.
The law, the “Superhero Registration Act,” was passed after an encounter between a reckless teen supergroup and a villain called Nitro led to the deaths of hundreds, mostly children, in Stamford, Conn. Captain America thought the act violated basic civil liberties and led a group of crime fighters who went rogue after refusing to register.
Marvel says the comic story line was intentionally written as an allegory to current real-life issues like the Patriot Act, the War on Terror and the September 11th attacks.
“Every child knew about 9/11,” Dan Buckley, president of Marvel Comics, told the Associated Press last week. “If he could see a TV, he knew what 9/11 was. The other similarities to things going on are just part of storytelling.”

But this was a violent and strange end for an American comic book hero. In the annals of “final episodes” in TV history, we remember Bob Newhart waking up next to his 1970s wife as if the entire 1980s series was a dream. We remember Sam Malone telling the silhouette at Cheers’ door, “Sorry, we’re closed.” We remember Hawkeye’s chopper on M*A*S*H flying over the word “Goodbye” spelled out in stones below.
While Captain America – or the comics business – might not be as culturally popular as the almighty TV, this method of “killing off” a classic hero is questionable and a bit disturbing. Where’s the ride into the sunset? Where’s one last moving monologue? Where’s the moral? Perhaps they’re all in there but in a more subtle and less obvious manner.
Actually, the man – or whatever he really is – was defending his civil liberties and facing a life-in-prison sentence. Then, in the process, gets gunned down. Are the Marvel writers trying to push an underlying message in all of this, rather than going with the “Farewell good citizens” style of exits?
“He hasn’t been living in the modern world and the world does move,” Marvel editor-in-chief Joe Quesada told CNN. He wants readers to find their own meaning in the superhero’s demise. “There is a lot to be read in there. But I’m not the one who is going to tell people, this is what you should read into it, because I could look into it and read several different types of messages.”
I will admit – my knowledge of the comics business is minimal, if anything at all. But fan or not, young or old, you can’t help but be attracted to their fantasy storylines and powers not available in any human being of real-life Earth. And there’s something about being labeled “Captain America” that holds a certain amount of prestige over being associated with a bat, being dubbed “super,” or having allegiance to a green lantern – whatever that purpose is.
So as one more make-believe hero leaves us, it’s a bittersweet reminder that many more real-life heroes are being killed today. They are the genuine heroes – more than a man in tights or a Hollywood-made middle-aged boxer. If the audience is still there, Rocky can come back and Captain America can be resurrected. Not all “heroes” have such a luxury.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-20T18:48:00.000-04:00

No Skeletons Left Behind...
Background checks of educators need
to be strict, enforced and updated

So much trust is put into the people educating your children. Not only educating but mentoring, counseling and simply spending time with your children. The same children that, just a few years ago, you held their hand tighter than glue while crossing the street and wondered who they were playing with in the back alley.
Same theory must apply in schools. It’s 8 a.m. Do you know who’s teaching your son and daughter?
Most districts in the country do whatever possible to ensure that whomever they hire is clean – now and in the past. Maybe a speeding ticket here or there but nothing dealing with narcotics, drunken driving or the words “child,” “abuse” or “molestation.”
Today’s prospective teachers need quite a rigorous pile of proof to enter the classroom or the building’s main doors at the least. Background checks through the State Police, child abuse clearance through the Commonwealth of Pa. and starting at the end of March, an official FBI background check that will scour the past for any crimes or possible fingerprinting done in other states.
The more, the better. Parents need reassurance that their child is always in a safe environment when learning. But how many educators either fall through the cracks or release their Mr. or Ms. Hyde while on the job?
On Google.com, type in “Teachers charged with crimes + felony” and 1,160,000 sites are available. The headlines on page one only scratch the sickening surface.
“Substitute teacher charged with sex crimes.” “Teacher in sex case fired, reticent.” “Teacher charged with possession of child pornography.” “Teacher charged with sex, murder plot of minor.”
Just last week a former Oregon teacher who supplied beer and marijuana to middle school students at a birthday party was sentenced to probation and community service. Brandye Sauvajon, 37, must also forfeit her license to teach in Oregon. That slap on the wrist is a slap to the face of parents nationwide.
Probation? A little sweeping on the highways? She intentionally contributed to the delinquency of middle school students. She should not be allowed to teach anywhere in the country, let alone quiet Northwest Oregon.
Also last week, a middle school teacher accused of having sex with at least five boys was fired and remained in jail after she refused to speak with police about the charges. Police began investigating Allenna Williams Ward, 23, after school officials in Clinton recovered a note containing inappropriate messages. Ward, who is married, had sexual encounters in the past three months with the 14- and 15-year-old boys at the school, at a motel, in a park and behind a restaurant, according to arrest warrants.
She should be locked up for life. Teachers – and this is no revelation – are supposed to be role models for the students they serve. We hear or read these headlines too often. The education business does not need the same type of black cloud that was hanging (or still hangs) over the Catholic church.
A few years ago it seemed every day a different priest was being charged with child molestation. Church and schools should be two of the most obvious safe havens on the planet and look what is happening to both. All states have laws that address background checks for school employees, but the laws and local policies vary – which can cause confusion and an escape door for those with certain violations.
Ronald Stephens, executive director of the National School Safety Center, calls the differences “a mishmash.” Schools, he argues, “are managed by boards that establish policies. There are about 16,000 different school boards around the country, and they have policies that differ from board to board and from school to school. There’s a lot of variation.”
How background checks are done, who gets them, how often they’re updated, and how to prevent problems, Stephens says, are “reminders that we still have a ways to go to provide a safe and welcome environment for students.
Colorado, for example, requires a fingerprint evaluation for all certificated employees of school districts and all other district employees hired after 1992, when its background check law went into effect. Subsequent arrests are then flagged and districts are notified by state authorities, who in turn ask the district to determine whether the offense merits dismissal or other action. Non-certificated employees are required to have a background check, submit fingerprints, and undergo a name check against a state database.
“There are a lot of databases that we should tap into but don’t,” says Edward Ray, chief of security for the Denver Public Schools. “As a result, people do slip through the cracks.”
That’s exactly what happened in 2001, when auditors found 16 Colorado teachers with felony charges on their records and thousands of others with misdemeanor and traffic offenses, as well as child abuse charges. Under the procedure in place at the time, the state had done fingerprint checks through the state and the FBI but did not look at information from state courts, which had additional data.
As a result of the audit, an integrated online network was put into use. But the current process still does not cover individuals with criminal records who have recently moved into the state.
Maybe every single school board in each district in all states needs to perform a similar audit. If there skeletons in the closets of teachers in the classrooms right now, let’s get all bones on the table. For those about to enter the profession, throw every single clearance form and background check known to man at them – and update them regularly.
Educators and administrators expect a lot from their students. The very same needs to be expected – and monitored – of them as well.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon New. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-13T23:00:00.000-04:00

Men need to be a presence,
not a punchline, in wedding planning...

The 2007 Lehigh Valley Bridal Expo was filled with bustling brides over the weekend. Scurrying from booth to booth – tasting cakes, testing DJs and trusting their instincts with the ideal reception location – the bright-eyed ladies were on a mission to leave Bethlehem’s Stabler Arena with a fully planned wedding.
Then there are the guys. The few husbands-to-be that were simply along for the ride? Not so much. Not quite the same enthusiasm.
It was more than obvious that the men in the relationships were at the Expo to simply carry the bags full of brochures or to try the cake. The shared enthusiasm for a wedding meal, the champagne flutes and the chair covers (whatever those do) was lost somewhere in translation.
The joke throughout the day – as told every few minutes by the sponsoring radio station – either included the words “Sorry, guys,” or “Men, bear with us for a few more hours.” Something like that. Something that made it clear that boys don’t belong here, don’t want to be here or don’t have a say in anything that goes on here anyway so what’s the point?
Not this boy, at least. Let me make it clear that I wasn’t there to try cakes. (Although this must be blamed on a fear of germs. Think about it – there are dozens of slices of cake sitting there (uncovered) in the open catching all the germs and bacteria that fall from mouths while talking, coughing, choking, and sneezing. And then the dandruff and flaky skin that trickles like a soft winter storm down on top of the icing. And the drops of saliva that shoot like missiles from the tongue of a perfectly-pronounced word. Maybe these things are not visible by the naked eye but they’re there and waiting. So thanks for the offer, but I must respectfully pass).
I was also not there for the fashion show since my tux and the lady’s wedding dress are selected and paid for. The Expo’s tuxedo fashion show is entertaining, though, to say the least. I’m not sure if the “men of C.E. Roth Formal Wear of Allentown” were trying to sell their clothing or their bodies but a few hungry moms in my vicinity were looking for a two-for-one deal. Can’t say I blame them. “Tom,” who struts out in nothing but a Speedo bathing suit only to be dressed by eager volunteers from the audience, was sculpted to perfection.
I was also not there to “score points” with the wife-to-be or the future mother-in-law because, frankly, I need not score any more points. I have been so off the chart for years now that there’s no need to impress. Look at the smile. Natural. Beautiful. It’s a winner.
So why was I there? To bring “men” back into the equation. We should be there for all the right reasons. Thankfully, I have a fiancée that includes me on every decision. She never says how it’s going to be without checking here first. It’s always our way and then the highway.
So when it came to the reception hall, bridesmaid dresses, entrée, soup, party songs – all of it – it was a decision made right down the middle. Isn’t that the way the planning should be?
Granted, she had to try the cakes alone because, again, the samples were not covered and came from God knows where. Plus, the server had a public battle between phlegm and mucus.
But other than the desserts, it was my responsibility to be at the Expo with an open mind with my thoughts and opinions, which were, thankfully, appreciated. This theory, however, does need to be accepted by both parties.
So do the guys get a bad rap with wedding planning? Possibly. But whose fault? Do the brides take control and want no help or input planning their “dream day”? Or do the grooms just sit back and let it all happen because it’s easier that way? A little of both, perhaps.
The men need to get back into the equation. All their ideas might not fly, which needs to be understood. I suggested a royal blue and orange color theme (even for the tuxedo). This was pushed hard and all my reasons were stated. The Mets were the National League East champs of 2006.
Respectfully shut down. So we moved on. It’s all about compromise, I’m told. Not just the wedding but the marriage itself. The planning of the “big day” is a great launching pad for all the combined decisions that are yet to come.
Guys need to get back into the equation and, hopefully, the ladies will welcome them back with open arms. They need to have more of a presence with the planning, instead of remaining a punchline.
I can’t speak for all men who are soon-to-be husbands but it should be exciting that soon, one day, you’ll get the chance to feel like a princess too. I truly can’t wait.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

An issue of privacy or concern?
Cameras in teens’ cars are meant
to ensure safety, not invade space

I don’t have kids so perhaps I shouldn’t prejudge. That being said…
Placing cameras (not hidden) in your child’s car doesn’t necessarily mean all privacy is lost. But such is one argument regarding a new mechanism offered in cars owned by teenagers in three Midwestern states.
Mom and dad are given the option to know how good (or bad) their soon-to-be adult drivers are taking care on the road. American Family Insurance is offering its customers free cams that record what happens when a sudden change in the vehicle’s movement occurs.
The cameras record the action inside and in front of the car in 20-second audio-video clips, which are then transmitted via cellular technology to DriveCam, a San Diego company that analyzes the clips for risky behavior.
The initial uproar (from a more liberal side) is an invasion of teens’ privacy – something they hold dear. But this isn’t private. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is never hesitant to declare that automobile accidents (or incidents) are the leading cause of death among U.S. teens. They need to be safer on the road, or at least know someone is watching.
It’s that eye-in-the-sky mentality that can cause anyone to rethink certain behavior.
Walk into a bank to simply cash a check – nothing out of the ordinary. It’s hard not to notice 12 cameras pointing your way. Even though you’re there for innocent business, those cameras hold a certain power over all actions.
Same idea here. It wasn’t that long ago I was in the teen years. But even back then there weren’t as many distractions that are available today. Cell phones, which are permanently attached to most people; text messages – that many teens have mastered while driving; eight-disc CD players, iPods, MP3 players or just a loss of attention.
It honestly does not take more than a split second to lose focus on the road and the unthinkable to happen. That’s the very first word uttered from a shaky and remorseful mouth – “I only took my eye off the road for a second…”
Seems to me these car-eyes are only trying to help. Don’t we want reassurance that the kids are alright? That they are in fact following the road’s procedures, taking responsibility for their actions and exemplifying that the road to adulthood is paved with an awareness of maturity?
Among things the car-cam analysts look for is the response time of the drivers and if they are paying attention to the road. Parents can receive a report on their kids’ driving and view the clips on a home computer.
American Family said it will test the system out by offering it for free for one year to 30,000 families in Wisconsin, Indiana and Minnesota. Its aim is to see whether the system results in fewer accidents. If the system is proven to prevent accidents, then customers who volunteered to use it might see their insurance premiums drop.
This type of surveillance isn’t a bad thing, but again, I’m speaking as a yet-to-be parent. Looking into the future, though, I need to know how my children are driving, what Internet sites they are using, where they are going, where they are going after that, who will be with them, when they will be home, will they be eating, will they be drinking, what will they be drinking, will they use their common sense, will they be honest…? God bless you moms and dads.
It’s not a trust issue with my son or daughter, it’s the other people. That’s a popular statement, isn’t it? “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s the other people I don’t really know…”
Cameras in cars – to ensure safety. Sounds just fine.
Parents, am I wrong?

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

American adults not up

to par with fifth-graders...

Does a new game show reflect
our educational prowess?

In what state is Mount Rushmore located? Name the colors of the rainbow? What are the names of the five Great Lakes?
If you can’t answer these, just be happy it’s a personal quiet reflection rather than expressing your lack of knowledge to millions of television viewers.
“Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” began last week on the FOX network, after the ratings onslaught of “American Idol.” The brainchild of reality show guru Mark Burnett (Survivor, The Apprentice), this questionable show pits ordinary Joes and Janes – like you and me – against the textbook questions that a typical fifth-grader should learn and know.
What happens, though, is exactly what Burnett and the show’s sponsors want – embarrassed and mockingly-bad silence or confusion by so-called educated adults. Naturally, if the grown-ups had all the brain power needed to play on the same field as a fifth-grader, we wouldn’t be hearing all the hype surrounding the latest in a long line of “reality” game shows.
First, Howie Mandel and his “Deal or No Deal,” in which contestants basically choose a random gorgeous model holding a metallic briefcase. A lot of thinking goes into that one. Then there’s Bob Saget’s “1 vs 100,” another no-skills chance type of show. They’re all an insult to “Jeopardy,” which is the only game show in history to stick to its trivia-based format.
What representation do Americans offer, though, when they battle fifth-graders for common knowledge questions that we should have all learned and retained in elementary school? Entertainment, of course.

We want the 10- and 11-year-olds to nail each question and for mom and dad to stand there with the most ignorant and clueless looks on their faces. Entertaining, I suppose. But what value is this showing?
Are we spotlighting the great education and intelligence of our nation’s elementary students? Or are we mocking what becomes of our smarts after some years in the real world?
Education news blogger Alexander Russo says the show could have some compelling interest if it doesn’t turn into a train wreck of adult ignorance.
“Most parents are effectively on this game show every night helping their children with homework,” he said.
I certainly hope that is the case these days. But for the parents who broadcast their sketchy trivia talents on TV, and come up short in the points, is this really that entertaining? Does it not border on being quite sad that the typical young or middle-aged adult does not know which country has the longest border with the U.S. or what color is produced by mixing red and yellow?
Burnett, not surprisingly, believes not.
“This is not a mean show,” he told USA Today. “We poke fun at people but they don’t get destroyed. They end up laughing at themselves.”
Fine, entertainment. But while other countries try to fly by the U.S. in terms of graduating teens and successful diploma-receiving individuals, what is the point of exploiting something like lack of intelligence?
Evidently, 26.5 million viewers don’t agree with me, or were simply interested enough to catch the first episode. It turned out to be the most watched series debut in Fox network history and the most popular debut of any series since 1998. Even 9 out of 10 viewers who turned on FOX for “American Idol” kept it on for “Are You Smarter…”
Maybe we will see someone we know. Or someone we knew. Or a former teacher. Wouldn’t that be the best? Seeing a former teacher – the very person who drove home the fact that this is pertinent knowledge for life – have to look in the camera and, according to the rules for the losers, say “I am not smarter than a fifth-grader.”
If there’s a positive spin available, consider the fact that our nation still has bright and educated fifth-grade students making their way up the education ladder. They’re doing the work, completing assignments and passing tests with flying colors.
Maybe if they would participate on the same game show 25 years from now – not that it will last more than 25 days from now – things would be different. We would be able to advertise that our country is still inhabited by smart, critical-thinking people who retain the knowledge given to them by dedicated educators.
And for those of you playing at home, Mount Rushmore is located in South Dakota; for the colors of the rainbow, ask Roy G. Biv; and the five Great Lakes are (HOMES) Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie and Superior.
Very proudly, I am as smart as a fifth-grader. Not necessarily as tall unfortunately.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-03-06T21:02:00.000-05:00

Ill-mannered judge demands
spotlight in Anna-Nicole trial...

Every so-called “media channel” covered the so-called “breaking news” of where Anna Nicole Smith’s body would be so-called “buried.” While an answer has been given, Smith’s remains are still very much in question as her mother fights an appeal that will keep the two male companions, the deceased-beyond-his-years oil billionaire and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s royal husband in the headlines for a little while longer.
What this sad case didn’t need, however, was a hammy judge who was hungry for camera time, in search of a TV career and one who desired humor in a sorrowful trial.
Judge Larry Seidlin wept, choked up and foolishly sobbed on live, national television as he announced a ruling last Thursday in the latest “circus-like” courtroom drama. Days before that, Seidlin himself became the focus of the entire act – with reports surfacing that he is in hot pursuit of a television job.

In company like Judges Judy, Joe Brown, Mills Lane and Wapner, Seidlin his turn. So much that he has already compiled a self-recorded video audition of fabricated courtroom antics – similar to how he would behave on camera.
We don’t need another courtroom TV show. “Judy” has run her course and the others behind her bring nothing new to the table. A bald-headed, middle-aged judge from Florida, with a Bronx accent, will achieve nothing more than the other has-beens tried to do.
In his eyes, Seidlin probably chose the best opportunity possible to showcase his qualifications for a new career. He had the world at his every smart-aleck comment. Everyone was ready for the next snide joke or corny play on words. Sadly, the cameras and news reports began to focus more on the judge than the case itself. Exactly what he wanted.
Some are now accusing the brash former New York cab driver of showboating for the cameras. They say he let the hearing drag on way too long, that he made inappropriate jokes for a dispute over a body, and that he acted as if it were all about him. They would be right.
One of Miami’s most revered defense attorneys, Roy Black, said of the circus-like scene in Seidlin’s courtroom, “I think it gives circuses a bad name. I thought he was one of the most entertaining things I had ever seen. He could be a TV judge. He could be a stand-up comic. However, I think he makes a horrible judge. He doesn’t follow any of the rules or procedures.”
Partly correct. He could not be a TV judge. He’d make an awful comic. But he does make a horrible judge. The respectable, honorable man (or woman) in black should not make a habit of bringing personal emotion into the decision. Never have I seen a judge break down from behind the bench and let tears roll down his cheeks as he could barely get out the words.
Was it all just a charade? Chances are good.
In court, the 56-year-old Seidlin talked about his wife and divulged the ins and outs of his days, mentioning his morning swim and the tuna sandwich he was having when assigned the case. He called Dr. Joshua Perper, the medical examiner, “Dr. Pepper.” Lawyers became known by their home states of “Texas” or “California.”
He would thank witnesses for retaining their sense of humor, especially when laughing at his jokes. Did it become a moot point that the case revolved around a dead human being and where she was to be put to rest?
After the case, the so-called “media channels” were right on top of the action, highlighting the antics of his honor more than the topic at hand.
Interviewed on CNN, John Thompson, a Coral Gables lawyer, argued that Seidlin made a mockery of the judicial process.
“If this is how a Circuit Court judge is supposed to act,” he said, “then the Florida Supreme Court should issue an order directing that, henceforth, sitting judges can wear not just robes but rather opt for the clownish outfit of a carnival barker.”
What’s most troubling in all this is that the very eccentric and fame-hungry bombshell the whole hearing revolved around – like her or not – was deceased and seemingly playing second fiddle. A judge in search of his own fame used the world’s attentive eyes as his own make-believe job interview. He doesn’t deserve the robe and gavel if that’s the approach he takes to a serious court ruling.
If Judge Lance Ito didn’t shriek with surprise when learning of the jury’s “not guilty” verdict for O.J. Simpson, Judge Larry Seidlin has no room to add personal emotion for Anna Nicole Smith – genuine or crafted.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-02-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

Rendell’s plan puts bull’s-eye
on school administrators...
Poor performing districts will suffer
the most if proposal is passed

When a professional sports team’s record is in the gutter, should the coach be held solely responsible and fired? If your cholesterol stays in the red, contrary to what your recommended diet tried to alter, should your doctor lose his or her license?
If the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania had a say in these matters, Governor Rendell would be handing out pink slips in bulk.
His most recent proposal states that public school principals and superintendents could lose their jobs if student performance on standardized exams doesn’t improve. The plan would apply to districts where students performed poorly on the Pennsylvania System of School Assessment (PSSA) and, if approved, the proposal could be one of the most comprehensive laws nationwide tying administrators’ jobs to students’ test scores.
This threat could be a scare tactic related to the controversial No Child Left Behind law, which says schools have to make adequate yearly progress (AYP), as determined by the state, by raising the achievement levels of all students to a level of proficiency by the 2013-14 school year.
So the government puts pressure on the school boards. The school boards put pressure on the administrators. The administrators put pressure on the teachers and the students then feel the pressure from all around. After all, it’s their responsibility to perform well so everyone else is happy.
If Rendell’s plan is implemented, the poorest performing districts – those that need the most help – will suffer the greatest. Opponents say it would dissuade administrators from seeking jobs in those areas where, if no improvement occurs, they would be fired.
They’re exactly right. School boards in poorly performing districts would be required to evaluate student performance before renewing or extending the contracts of superintendents, principals and assistant principals. Districts where students perform well on the tests would not be forced to holds their administrators accountable – but could choose to do so.
So the question becomes this: Should a superintendent or principal be held accountable for the scores of standardized tests, especially in poor performing districts, rather than an overall scope of the students’ performance? It’s easy to revert back to a teacher’s most frustrating mantra – “teaching to the test.”
Many teachers in any district cringe at having to abruptly stop their curriculum to prepare for a test that is prepared by an outsider.
“Although many view teaching to the test as an all or none issue, in practice it is actually a continuum,” says Lloyd Bond of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. “At one extreme, some teachers examine the achievement objectives as described in their state’s curriculum and then design instructional activities around those objectives. This is done without regard to a particular test. At the other extreme is the unsavory and simply dishonest practice of drilling students on the actual items that will appear on the tests.
“There is a lesson here for teachers and assessment specialists alike. The tension between the instructional and assessment communities, as well as the pejorative connotations that ‘teaching to the test’ entails, will continue unabated so long as testing and assessment are seen as something quite apart from instruction and learning, rather than an integrated reflection of what was intentionally taught. What is needed is a deliberate attempt on the part of all parties to link curriculum, instruction, assessment, and standards in a more generative and even transparent way.”
What a dream. A deliberate attempt to link everything. Brilliant, but barely possible if Rendell places bull’s-eyes on the district leaders who aren’t up to par, in accordance to the test scores.
Some states have pondered tying teacher salaries to student performance, but that would be as ludicrous as tying Major League Baseball salaries to performance on the field. (Actually, it was ludicrous to even mention a professional athlete’s salary with that of a public school educator. Forgive that absurdity).
Jay Mathews, an education writer for The Washington Post, says if you ask the thousands of educators who have written the questions for the state tests that allegedly produce all these terrible classroom practices, they would say their objective is the same as the classroom teacher’s: to help kids learn. “And if you watched the best teachers at work, as I have many times, you would see them treating the state test as nothing more than another useful guide and motivator, with no significant change in the way they present their lessons.
“Those who complain are not really talking about teaching to the state test. Unless teachers sneak into the counseling office and steal a copy, which can get them fired, they don’t know what’s on the test. They are teaching not to the test but to the state standards – a long list of things students are supposed to learn in each subject area, as approved by the state school board.”
Very true, but those state standards can only be drilled into the curriculum so much by the classroom teachers. The superintendents and principals might have even more to worry about if Rendell’s twisted dream comes true.
Twenty-nine other states already have plans that call for restructuring the administration of poorly performing school districts, but our governor’s proposal goes outside the box. By outlining specific different levels of poorly performing schools and exclusively requiring administrators in those areas to be held accountable, the actual performance of the students is questionable.
Plus, the leadership will be affected. Those who will want to step in and tackle a tough situation – improving standardized test performance – with their job on the line will be few and far between. And who suffers in the end? The very students these standardized tests are supposed to benefit.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-02-13T16:02:00.000-05:00

If Giuliani’s ready,
Obama should wait...

I like Barack Obama. Always have, since his charming demeanor and friendly tone became increasingly famous a few years ago. He instinctively portrays intelligence, perseverance and a genuine compassion in dealing with we, the people.
But is he ready for the White House? Yes, but not yet.
New York City’s famous former mayor Rudy Giuliani said last week there’s a “real good chance” he will make a bid for president in 2008. The (liberal) Republican said he had not yet decided whether he could make a “unique contribution” toward strengthening the United States that would justify a run for president.

Sounds like respectful stalling to me. Surely he knows his own potential just as his many supporters do. It shouldn’t be too long before his “maybe” turns into an official “Here I come.”
Giuliani seems to have the experience, the big-city knowledge perfect for running 50 states and the composure to withstand and push through the most trying of circumstances. I hate to ever use 9/11 as an excuse or reason for something, but Giuliani helped pull his great city out of a huge hole.
“Sixteen hours had passed since the Twin Towers crumbled and fell, and people kept telling Rudy Giuliani to get some rest,” TIME Magazine wrote in 2001 as he was chosen as Person of the Year. “The indomitable mayor of New York had spent the day and night holding his city together. He raced to the scene as the second plane hit, watched human beings drop from the sky, and nearly got trapped inside his makeshift command center when the south tower imploded. Then he led a battered platoon of city officials, reporters and civilians north through the blizzard of ash and smoke, and a detective jimmied open the door to an old firehouse so the mayor could revive his government there.”
Imagine if his sights are set higher.

Make no mistake; Obama certainly isn’t a slouch – making quite a respectful name for himself in his freshman years as U.S. Senator of Illinois. Experience, yes. But not quite the same as a Giuliani candidate who, at this point, seems to be the most rational selection to lead our country when Bush’s term comes to an end.
“Actually, I think my experience is my greatest strength,” Obama told USA Today last week, when questioned about his resume. “I don’t have some of the traditional experience of folks in Washington, although I would put my record here in Washington next to my competitors’. But I think my work as a community organizer, as a civil rights attorney, as somebody who taught constitutional law for 10 years, and as a state legislator provides me with insights into solving problems at the federal level and at the local level and at the neighborhood level that I think is what’s needed right now.”
It’s not so much that Obama’s current experience isn’t good enough for the presidency, but more that Giuliani’s is that much better.
A problem may lie, however, in actually gaining enough acceptance to achieve the Republican nomination. Giuliani’s moderate stances on gun control, abortion, gay rights and other social issues could be liabilities for him in a Republican presidential primary that includes hard-core conservatives as a central voting group.
More steadfast and traditional Repubs could favor Senator John McCain, who has said gay marriage should not be legal. Then again, he has angered some conservatives with his opposition to a constitutional amendment banning same-sex unions. The Arizona senator said the issue should be left to the states. Regardless of which candidates earn the nominations, this will be a very exciting set of months full of debates, assertive opinions, back-and-forth screaming sessions and the same old rigmarole that’s included with competing to become our leader.
Obama is ready now but consider what level his potential and intelligence might escalate to after four (or eight) years of leadership under a former Person of the Year. Between those two back-to-back presidents, this country might have a light at the end of this currently disastrous tunnel.
Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-02-06T19:36:00.000-05:00

MTV’s ‘Real World’ has
joined the ranks of the rotten...

Believe it or not, the MTV network was once a quality educator.
Setting aside teenage-ready “Beavis and Butt-Head” and disturbingly-ingenious “Jackass” programs, the one-time all-music channel brought us a revolutionary form of entertainment.
“The Real World” – now in the middle of its 18th season – pioneered the end of sitcom TV and ushered in the “reality show” onslaught. Many have come and gone, some are still here and others lasted only a few shows.
What the Real World did, however, was bring a strong form of reality – yes, more reality than living with the Osbournes or surviving on a deserted island – into our lives and start quality water-cooler conversations.
Here was a show with a southern mama’s boy moving to Los Angeles and trying to adapt to the big-city lifestyle. He had never lived with a gay man before, let alone converse much with one.
Here was a show that threw a black man into the house with a white woman, unaware of what might actually transpire. Racism? Prejudice? It was a simple experiment.
Here was a show that introduced the world to a gay man living with AIDS. After passing away, Pedro Zamora was eventually honored by President Clinton as “someone we all knew, living with the dreadful disease.”
This was a great show that illuminated the fishbowl method. Throw a bunch of interesting backgrounds, ages and genders into one dwelling, follow them with cameras, and we can’t help but watch and learn.
In these 18 seasons, what has happened to such a grand idea? The fishbowl has camouflaged itself to blend in with every other so-called reality show. It’s nothing but gorgeous men and women and a ton of hormones to get them through the night. Look no further than Bunim-Murray Productions, the company that has produced the show since the very beginning.
“When three hot gals, Brooke Colie and Jenn, and four randy guys, Alex, Davis, Stephen and Tyrie, become roommates in a spacious loft located in the party district of Denver, tensions soar,” boasts their Web site. “Hook-ups happen fast and furious – but so do heated clashes over race, religion and homosexuality. The seven strangers are challenged to put their turbulent lives in the Mile High City behind when their job requires them to train in the Rocky Mountains to become Outward Bound Wilderness interns. Their goal is to provide wilderness courses for New Orleans area teens who were affected by Hurricane Katrina. It they do their job well, the group reward will be an exotic vacation.”
Hot gals? Check. “Randy” guys? Check. Fast and furious hook-ups? Double check. And that’s the show. The problem with what the “Real World” has become, however, is that the “heated clashes over race, religion and homosexuality” are so phony and seemingly instigated.
Years ago, when the show meant something to the TV industry and society itself, the heated moments just happened in real time. If they didn’t happen, it didn’t matter. Something else would.
Now, it seems each season is filled with the same cast of fish – the black who’s ready to fight; the white who doesn’t want to admit being racist except when in front of the “confessional” camera; the homosexual who has a hard time coming out; and the straight guy who has a hard time with the homosexual’s coming out.
It’s not scripted, but it’s no longer real.
…And why do the producers feel it’s necessary to put the cast to work? Simple. The show was getting too boring. It was getting too real. Reality shows aren’t supposed to be real, evidently.
…And why does the cast receive an exotic trip? What about the teens affected by Katrina? Wouldn’t they deserve it more?
…And the love-interest angle is so over-hyped on every TV show that soap operas aren’t even in the race anymore. Love is the wrong word, actually. Just like the producers promised, it’s all hook-ups.
Remember the so-called reality show “Paradise Island”? The whole premise was placing gorgeous, sex-driven people in a mansion on a beautiful resort and seeing what happens. That was it. Sounds like the Real World without the homosexuality.
We will always need entertainment on television. We will always want something to watch for 30 or 60 minutes and temporarily forget about the rest of life. But a quality representation of society and who we all are can’t hurt.
MTV provided that years ago. The Real World had such potential. It was set above the rest. Then the fishbowl was smashed and the great lessons splashed on the floor along with it.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-30T19:10:00.000-05:00

School boards don’t
need mayoral help...
Educators need to be
run by seasoned educators

The boss needs to know the ins and outs of the business to ensure maximum productivity.
With regards to school districts, however, who’s really calling the shots – and are the credentials up to par? These questions are rising in our nation’s capital where something is being done from higher up the leadership ladder, alleviating school boards of their “chief” status.
Washington D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty is trying to do what a dozen other big-city leaders around the U.S. have already done – gain control over the schools.
A majority of fourth- and eighth-graders are failing to read or do math at basic levels in D.C. About four of five schools are not meeting achievement goals under the controversial (some say ridiculous) federal No Child Left Behind law. And just 43 percent of students graduate from high school in five years.
But before the mayor can get to work and try to attack this problem, he must convince city council and Congress to support his plan to require the superintendent to report to him and to further limit the authority of the elected school board. In just a short time, a majority of council members have signaled a willingness to back Fenty.
How many more actually come forward will be interesting to see.
Our school boards have power – the power to do a lot and with questionable experience. A school board candidate in most states must be 18 years old or above, a citizen of the state, and a resident of the district for at least one year.
All other qualifications merely become campaign fuel.
So the folks that hold rule over the superintendent, the principals, the administration and all teachers – good people who go to school for years to work in schools for years – need no experience in running the schools.
So will the mayor have much more credibility? Not necessarily – but he or she should have the knowledge to run a major city or small town, which is beneficial to working closely with the superintendent and administration.
Fenty may run into some obstacles since mayors generally don’t have the power to overhaul and maintain school districts. That responsibility falls with the elected school boards – a structure set up a century ago to, according to USA Today, insulate schools from political strife and corruption in city government.
It’s not a bad plan per se, but then the potential problem of inexperienced board members enters the situation. The “real nice guy in town” might get elected and have sincere dedication but does he know what goes into running a school district? It’s more than approving a new history textbook and occasional field trips.
Low voter turnout for school board elections and diminishing test scores have sparked this movement for mayoral control of schools since the 1990s. So far, it has happened in New York, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland and Harrisburg.
In addition to D.C., the idea is also being batted around in California, Washington and New Mexico.
In an analysis done last year, Ken Wong, a school governance expert at Brown University, measured test scores in a dozen cities with mayors in charge of schools from 1999 to 2003. The results showed modest but significant progress in reading and math for elementary and middle school students. Wong’s data was insufficient to make the same judgment about high school students.
“Mayors are turnaround artists, not saviors,” Wong wrote in the report. “Our analysis suggests that mayors can steer the ship in the right direction, but there is still a long way to go before their districts achieve acceptable levels of student achievement.”
But is it too much to handle? With school boards leaving a lot to be desired, and those who are truly certified and holding multiple degrees having little or no control, should the responsibility be placed on someone else’s shoulders – someone who already has a city to run?
It’s asking a lot, but it’s asking even more for a school board to be filled with experienced individuals who know business, education and law. Especially if they are not getting paid handsomely for it.
So the districts suffer. They elect good-hearted people who have a son or daughter in the schools and want to “make a difference.” It’s just not enough these days. It takes a lot more to run a district than a “nice guy” and a mayor who wants to tackle two entities.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-23T19:48:00.000-05:00

God needs to reconsider
His bad-news messenger...

Pat Robertson has a gift. And in our best interest, the religious broadcaster and one-time presidential candidate uses this gift to better the world – or at least warn us of impending danger.
In what has become an annual ritual of good and bad omens, Robertson recently said God – yes, the God – told him a large terrorist attack on our great land, which would result in “mass killing,” will occur late in 2007.
“I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear,” Robertson recently said during his news-and-talk television show “The 700 Club” on the Christian Broadcasting Network. “The Lord didn’t say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that.”
God supposedly told him during a recent prayer retreat that major cities and possibly millions of people will be devastatingly affected by the attack, which should take place sometime after September.
This is very upsetting. Why would our leader from above choose, of all people, Pat Robertson to alert us of the news? Granted, we should be appreciative that this knowledge is becoming public so early and ample time is being offered to prepare for, maybe even thwart, the large attack.
We’ll see what happens but, with all due respect, our God needs to re-evaluate how this news is being delivered. If anyone knows the big guy’s contact information, please forward the following to him. Or perhaps it could be sent via Mr. Pat Robertson, since they talk frequently.

Dear Lord,
I hope this correspondence reaches you personally. I’m not sure if Saint Peter or another one of your helpers filters the mail but this is an important request that I’m sure others will support. I’m aware you’re busy – the Christmas season just ended and a lot of daily prayers come your way with no sign of letting up.
I’m unclear of your reasons for alerting TV’s Pat Robertson of this big attack on our country, but surely someone else could utilize this information in a much more productive fashion. Mr. Robertson doesn’t really have much power or access to measures that could find such info useful.
Why not alert the heads of all our armed forces? Maybe the leader of the FBI? The airports?
Our president is a bit busy sending anyone he can think of to Iraq so you might want to skip that one.
Not sure what type of Internet service you use, but possibly consider a mass e-mail to particular people. Or maybe even your own Blog site so the warning gets out there faster. Robertson may be on TV but he’s not the most popular person, nor is he really reputable beyond personal followers or members of his 700 Club, whatever that is.
But even more importantly – and please understand I’m not telling you how to do your job – but can’t this attack be stopped at the source? If you created the heavens, the earth and man – according to the Book of Genesis – maybe you could put a complete stop to this alleged attack.
I won’t get into 9/11. You shouldn’t be blamed per se – things happen for a reason I suppose – whatever it may be. But instead of whispering in the ear of a religious TV host, maybe you could just stop it once and for all. Forgive me, I’m asking for a lot. You might not necessarily have control of all the world’s inner-workings.
But if nothing else, please reconsider to whom you offer these messages. I still have newspaper connections and I’d be more than happy to get the word out. Just let me know. And by the way, thanks for everything else you do. Sometimes you get a bad rap and get blamed for a lot, but it must be tough to look out for an entire planet. I’m here if you ever need an ear.

Yours truly,
C. Barnes

But does Robertson have some merit? He suggested in Jan. 2006 that God punished then-Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke for ceding Israeli-controlled land to the Palestinians. He predicted in Jan. 2004 that President Bush would easily win re-election. Bush won 51 percent of the vote that fall, beating Democratic Senator John Kerry.
In 2005, he said Social Security reform proposals would be approved and Bush would nominate conservative judges to federal courts. Lawmakers confirmed Bush’s 2005 nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. But the president’s Social Security initiative was stalled.
He also predicted that Bush would have victory after victory in his second term. Can’t all be winners, I suppose.
“I have a relatively good track record,” Robertson said. “Sometimes I miss.”
For our sake, the sake of the world, and that of anyone who is gullible enough to believe the highest power specifically talked to a TV host like Pat Robertson, let’s hope our 2007 is, in fact, a safe one. And if God would ever transfer messages to these U.S. citizens, he would have more luck with Regis, Ryan Seacrest or those annoying babblers from The View.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-15T12:03:00.000-05:00

Voyeurs need not apply for iPhone...

When Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled the much-anticipated iPhone last week, he said the world of cell phones has changed. This new mini-mega-machine, priced around $600, combines the features of an iPod, cell phone and the almighty Internet onto a 3.5-inch screen.
Just more proof that when you buy the new technological prodigy today, it’s out of date well before tomorrow.
Most of our phones make a call, send annoying text messages and take ineffective, tiny so-called photos. Jobs’ new baby does a lot more – basically taking your home computer, home stereo and whatever your cell phone does, and puts it all in your palm.
Nowhere in the iPhone’s listing of special features, however, does it mention the most-used device of our day – the mobile phone video camera. This “feature” has put Big Brother on every corner of the world, at any public event, in every living room, on every highway, in every shopping mall – anywhere.

Privacy has been eliminated, since it doesn’t take more than five seconds to flip open a phone and start filming. Exactly how one of these mini-cameras was able to sneak into Saddam Hussein’s execution chamber is still a mystery – yet it proves how everyone and everything is an open target for all to see, record and disseminate.
During the night of the former dictator’s hanging, news channels across the board were debating whether or not to actually show the footage – the reputable media footage from Iraqi television. But it didn’t matter.
The cell-phone broadcasting company won the race and the video has since been seen by more than one million people on YouTube.com – an online community for viewing and sharing videos (many captured with cell phones).
And Hussein’s execution – for whatever reason – had soft security.
Syndicated columnist and news analyst George Will noticed the absurdity of the bystander videographer.
“Americans were on the receiving end of a kind of shock and awe,” Will wrote in Newsweek magazine, Jan. 15. “The shock of recognition was delivered not by columns of tanks, flights of bombers or salvos of cruise missiles, but by a cell phone. The hanging of Saddam Hussein – not the fact of it, but the manner of it, communicated to the world by video from someone’s phone camera – may have been a tipping point.”
Evidently the cell-phone video of Michael Richards – only known as Seinfeld’s Cosmo Kramer – wasn’t shocking enough because that was merely the hanging of one’s image.
Richards’ embarrassing racist rant might not have been as widespread, as notorious, and as career-ending had a club patron not whipped out his cell phone to begin recording. In no less than an hour, the video was sold to TMZ.com, an online tabloid site run by a former Hollywood prosecutor.
We could have read about the event but thanks to the ever-growing technology competition, Kramer’s tirade came to us like we were there in person.
So is this good or bad? There will be situations that a cell-phone video camera will come in handy. Or just those fun moments that you can’t help but want to remember. But then, there’s the ever-watching eye that can invade places it doesn’t belong.
It was reported last week that the final moments of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin’s life – filmed while being captured for an Animal Planet documentary – will never and can never be shown to the public. How these good people got away with this is mind-blowing.
It’s become obvious that virtually any piece of video footage – at any price – is up for sale and made available to a hungry public. God willing, Irwin will now rest in peace. And rightfully so.
What would anyone gain by seeing the man be killed by a stingray? Serves no purpose whatsoever.
Authorities announced that all copies of the footage had been destroyed and the original had been given to his wife, Terri. Imagine what could have happened had a tourist been underwater with a water-proof cell phone. The images of Irwin’s untimely death would be inescapable.
So where does the iPhone take our world of convenience? To the next level, of course, but only temporarily. Just like any other revolutionary gizmo and gadget, it’s the next best thing for now. If Jobs’ baby offers no video camera capability, it truly is changing the world of the cell phone, as promised.
And reviving a small part of the world’s privilege of privacy – something I’m not sure can ever be fully attainable again.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-15T11:59:00.000-05:00

Stallone has the last
laugh in final Rocky film...
Series ends as a victory for youth,
elderly and all in between

Rocky Balboa isn’t much different than Santa Claus. The jolly old man in red may not be as physically confrontational as the 60-year-old Italian Stallion, but it’s the spirit inside that the world needs – whether it’s one night a year, or six installments of a heroic film series.
When Sylvester Stallone announced he would be reviving the classic underdog character for a sixth and supposedly final film, many folks laughed, raised eyebrows or cracked jokes using the words “geriatric,” “dinosaur,” or a combination of the two.
But when the final bell rings, guess who’s standing in the middle of the ring having the last laugh – Rocky himself.
What “Rocky Balboa” – the movie – did was rejuvenate the downfallen all over again. Not the downfallen as a sorry subdivision of society but the very mentality Stallone’s character has at the beginning of the original film. He was the underdog. He was the never-in-a-million-years. He was the in-your-dreams. And then he was the champion.

And 30 years later, Rocky’s final round is a victory for us all – the 20-year-old Baby Boomers or the 95-year-old seniors who still want to climb into the ring of life.
Sounds corny but regardless of if this was to be an award-winning script with beautiful character development and a heart-wrenching ending, it is the story that can touch anyone and send them running back up the Philly Art Museum’s steps – at any pace age would allow.
“I look around at people my age, and I can see it in their eyes – a kind of bittersweet reflection,” Stallone told Newsweek magazine last month. “People say ‘I didn’t live the life that I wanted, and now I’ve got all this stuff I want to say, but nobody wants to hear it.’ I was feeling that, and if you don’t get it out, it can become a beast that tears you apart.”
And that’s what the aged fighter did – got back in the ring unsure if he could win. Well, he knew he could win but it wasn’t about that. It was just about the fight. That’s the Rocky inside us all.
That fight was what lacked in the other final Rocky movie – number five. “V” featured a bankrupt and depressed Balboa – and that was before the flopped film brought in only $41 million. So this latest installment was a necessity and Stallone knew it, regardless of the constant ribbing he received for it.
“I don’t understand aging gracefully,” he told Newsweek. “I’d rather age ungracefully, kicking and screaming. Don’t hand me down my top hat and walking cane.”
If Stallone preaches it, who are we to question?
This is the purpose, goal, moral and meaning behind “Rocky Balboa” – the movie and the character. It’s a movie about dealing with age. Not so much conquering or denouncing your age, but riding along with it as a companion. If you’re 30, you’re 30. If you’re approaching 80, you’re approaching 80. Why fight it?
Get in the ring and see if, as Balboa (the character) says, there’s anything left in the basement.
Critics – both professional and amateur – rang in on the sixth Rocky film. Some praised Stallone’s vigor while others dubbed it a joke and meaningless sequel in a world or meaningless sequels. None of the reviews really matter because it’s that Rocky Balboa inside us all that speaks volumes.
Stallone’s message back in the original was that of the pure underdog story. The no-name pushed through to the top. His moral comes full circle in number six.
Rocky has no age. No face. No gender. No color, creed, size or language.
Rocky’s the same magic that lives inside us each Christmas Eve night when the jolly old man in red gets credit for the gifts you paid for and place under the tree. It’s a never-ending legend.
We can stare at the Art Museum’s steps and hear the theme song begin. Doesn’t matter if you’re 10 years old or clutching to a walker at 101. You’ll make it to the top, turn around, and raise your fists in the air.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News in eastern Pennsylvania. His e-mail address is chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-09T21:48:00.000-05:00

Barnes on Barnes
Part Four. The End of the Road

TFP: You don’t really have much to your workspace back here in this corner, do you?
Barnes: I don’t keep much. Toni keeps everything. We’re a good mix. All I need – my palm tree neon lamp, Springsteen calendar, autographed Alice Cooper 8x10, my Rat Pack poster and that’s about it. What else do you need?
TFP: And the color photos of yourself hanging on the wall?
Barnes: I like to keep an eye on myself from all angles.
TFP: What’s the deal with the baseball bat?
Barnes: Hey, you never know. If this company doesn’t budget me a sports writer, they surely don’t budget much security. People can get pretty fanatical about what goes in the paper. Especially during election season. So, these days…

TFP: Speaking of fanatical, let’s talk about Richard Woldow.
Barnes: Sure thing.
TFP: Why is he still with the paper? A lot of people can’t stand him.
Barnes: Let me go back a few years. When we first started working with Richard, I couldn’t stand him. I didn’t like what he wrote. I didn’t like how he wrote it. And I didn’t like the aftershocks that I knew would be waiting. But I was green in this business. Looking back now, what has Richard Woldow done with his column? He points out what is wrong with local government and looks out for the common taxpayer and everyday person. That’s it. Sure, he has his own style that can come across as harsh and holier-than-thou, but consider the subjects. He usually writes about people in charge of these communities – elected or appointed – and they’re constantly under a microscope. The core of it is trust. The people who run these towns – shouldn’t you be able to trust them with everything? Well, when they don’t live up to such responsibilities, Richard goes to bat for the public. I think every paper needs a Woldow. A lot of people would agree with that. Others would want to vomit from such a statement. But who hates him most? The people he writes about. The Wogloms, the Fulmers, the Zowniriws, the Murphys. He exposes certain things those people thought would never see the light of day. Who else hates him? Friends of those people. People who can benefit from them. Or who work with them or receive things from them. It’s all a domino effect. The people who love reading Woldow the most are the very people he writes for – the citizens and taxpayers who are affected by those in charge.
TFP: So it’s not just a sensationalism effect to run him?
Barnes: Not at all. Richard knows what he’s doing. He’s a former news investigator from Illinois. Look, if he was digging holes under people’s houses looking for tabloid-ready gossip, that would be one thing. But the topics he deals with, and the things he has uncovered, and the undisclosed information people offer him are definitely newsworthy to the public. The taxpayers and voters have a right to know these things. I’ve been very appreciative of the work Richard has done for this paper and the people it serves. Bottom line is, these communities deserve honest government. If the officials don’t want to provide that, they should be ready for Richard’s column.
TFP: OK, let’s fly over Richland Township and talk about the Zowniriws. Anger issues aside, do you feel Mike Z. could actually be a good supervisor if he didn’t allow his wife, Amy, to pull the puppet strings on every issue and butt her nose into places it doesn’t belong?
Barnes: Ah, what’s the point? Next question.
TFP: If you could interview any three famous people, who would they be?
Barnes: Bruce Springsteen, Walter Cronkite and a tie between Johnny Carson or George Burns.
TFP: You realize the last two are dead.
Barnes: You didn’t list stipulations on the question.
TFP: Sorry. Well, now that you’re knocking on the exit door, any regrets?
Barnes: I only have two regrets in life and neither of them involves my work here.
TFP: Care to share what they are? Let’s open you up a bit.
Barnes: If you must. One is giving up baseball. The other is turning down a gift of back-packing through Europe when I graduated college. Everything else has been par for the course.
TFP: Do you regret trying to make too many friends when you began working here?
Barnes: No, that’s not a regret. It was a lesson well learned. You can learn the most in life by sometimes doing the wrong thing.
TFP: Well, I suppose this is the end. It’s been fun. Whether they hated you, loved you, or couldn’t care less – did all of this matter?
Barnes: What matters is I did my job and did it well. And that’s that.

Chris Barnes is the former editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at chrisbarnesopinion@gmail.com.

2007-01-02T19:23:00.000-05:00

Barnes on Barnes III
Part Three of the final interview

TFP: Can we talk about some stories that have stuck out in your mind?
Barnes: Sure. I covered all the nuclear irradiator fallout – no pun intended there – in Milford Township. When CFC Logistics planned to install a cobalt irradiator, all hell broke loose in the township. It taught me a lot about public reaction and those who protest.
TFP: Are you against protesting?
Barnes: Certainly not. But I’m a big proponent of knowing exactly what you’re protesting. Milford’s boardroom was packed each meeting. There were people with picket signs overflowing into the hallways. I remember an older woman – in her 70s or 80s – sitting to the side with a sign that said “You’re going to kill me.” So I had to ask. “Who’s going to kill you, ma’am?” She was referring to the supervisors for allowing CFC to install a nuclear irradiator. To her, and many others, it was no different than Chernobyl or some huge meltdown with radiation fallout sweeping through the township and beyond. So I persisted. “How are the supervisors going to kill you, ma’am?” “With all the nuclear stuff they’re bringing here.” Another lesson. She was protesting in a big way but had no idea what she was really against. And she refused to give me her name. That’s always irritating.

TFP: Did that happen often?
Barnes: More often than it should. I put my opinion in the paper every week with my name and smiling face. Very often people want their opinions, thoughts, views, and harsh criticisms in the paper, but don’t want to use their name. So what’s the point?
TFP: Maybe they don’t want to be the bad guy, or the enemy, for publicizing their view.
Barnes: Exactly right. I’ve had people tell me really harsh things about other people they knew and worked with. But they would never say them to their faces. It always starts with “Now, I never said this but…” or “I would never say this in public but…” And I think, well, why wouldn’t you? Isn’t that why you were elected? They need the same lesson I learned. They don’t want to offend their friends or make them angry. But they love when I do it because the pressure is off them.
TFP: Do you think you have a lot of enemies?
Barnes: I wouldn’t say enemies. There are people out there who want me gone. Why? Because I print things they don’t want to see. Here’s a bottom line for you. People love the press, until the press goes against what they want. It’s that simple. It’s very rare someone will read a negative word about him or herself in a newspaper and respond with, “You’re right. I deserved that.” They just get mad and feel the press has no right.
TFP: You’ve received a lot of hate mail over the years.
Barnes: I have? How do you know?
TFP: It was more of a question, sorry.
Barnes: I still have every letter or e-mail that has ever been sent directly to me about something I’ve written – either good, bad, praising or chastising. I have one calling me the anti-Christ for being against the war. He said I’m the reason our troops are dying overseas. That was an interesting one. And I have many letters from people who liked the newspaper, until I went against what they wanted. Those are entertaining as well. When someone takes time to respond to something in The Free Press, I appreciate it. There’s also a fair share of positive letters in my collection. Not just for my writing but for other things that went in the paper. I like when people appreciate our work. But when they don’t, that’s OK.
TFP: I suppose that means the paper is effective.
Barnes: Exactly, and as long as I don’t lose focus, I’m just doing my job. I’ll tell you an interesting story without going into specifics. A woman came to see me after reading our editorial one week. She wanted to speak to me privately about it and seemed very emotional. I thought it was more sadness but it turned out to be a lot of anger. She was in quite a zone. I had never seen someone so furious and out-of-control over the written word. We eventually had to call the police to get her out.
TFP: How did that make you feel?
Barnes: Proud. Not proud of the circumstances, but that’s effective writing to push someone to that. Another time, we had a picketer out front. Lois Stevens – wife of Vic Stevens, who ran for supervisor in Richland Township. She wrote up a sandwich board and walked back and forth in front of our building. It was pouring so hard too, God bless her. I don’t know if this paper had ever been picketed before, but she has the right. Again, I was proud. That’s effective work. And I remember a funny phone call I got right after Pope John Paul died. A woman called very upset that we didn’t cover the funeral. I tried to explain that a weekly newspaper stays local but she didn’t buy it. So I told her our Vatican correspondent was on vacation at a most inopportune time. Then she hung up.

Good news! Only one more week of this drivel. E-mail me at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-12-27T00:11:00.000-05:00

Barnes on Barnes II...
Part Two of the final interview

TFP: Let’s get back to what this paper’s purpose is – in your opinion.
Barnes: When I took over as editor, I didn’t adhere to any previous “regimes” but instead put focus on what Berks-Mont Newspapers’ main goal was – keeping things local.
Note: Berks-Mont Newspapers and publisher Jim Webb saved The Free Press from extinction in Aug. 2001, when it was purchased from The Morning Call.
I didn’t want to publish a Bucks County brochure that only ran happy photos and sugar-coated stories. We still are a newspaper. It was around this time that I learned my first lesson – and the biggest lesson – of this business. Monitoring your relationships very closely.
TFP: Relationships with whom?
Barnes: What I mean is, you’re not in this business to make friends. And looking back, you should make none at all. Offer no hugs, receive no cakes, and keep friendly conversations to a minimum. That can’t be stressed enough.
TFP: Sounds pretty cold, doesn’t it?
Barnes: Yes, but this is a business. The Free Press is not the Chamber of Commerce. See, early on, I wanted to make contacts, I wanted people to like the paper and I wanted to anger no one. I was very green. Notably, I remember Ray Fulmer being the first person to help me understand this lesson – albeit inadvertently.
TFP: Ray was president of Quakertown Borough Council at the time, correct?
Barnes: Yes, and we had too many buddy-buddy conversations. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when something was published in the paper that Ray didn’t like, he told me. And since we had those friendly conversations, and he even wrote me a recommendation letter for graduate school at one point, he felt personally insulted.

TFP: What exactly offended him so much?
Barnes: Opinions – which is the curse of the world these days. Everyone has them, but everyone else’s are wrong. Only yours matters. It’s a huge pain, especially when I’m at the helm and it’s my decision to publish the opinion – whether it’s mine or not and whether I agree or not. But if opinions ran about Ray that he didn’t like, I became the enemy. We haven’t spoken in years. And it’s not just him; this happened many times with many people.
TFP: Did that early lesson help you understand the business better?
Barnes: Very much so. It’s a rude awakening because you want people to like the newspaper, but you need to always understand that everyone will not be pleased. As editor, you need to grasp this. I learned where the friendly limits need to stop because even your best friend will get very bitter if you print something that doesn’t go along with his beliefs. But it’s not my job to please people. This is something I have preached to reporters and interns time and time again. It’s not your job to make friends; just report the story. If they like it, great. If they don’t, I’m sorry – as long as it was still factually correct.
TFP: But mistakes have been made?
Barnes: What kind of mistakes?
TFP: Reporting mistakes – where you need to run a correction.
Barnes: Sure, nobody’s perfect. But they better happen less than seldom. I never considered myself to be one of those tough aggressive editors portrayed in movies or TV, but I want things accurate. That’s a reporter’s responsibility – to get the facts right. If you need an operation, you want a doctor who knows what to do and how to do it right. When I put a reporter on a story, I expect him or her to do it right. If we make mistakes, we run a correction. It happens. We’re a small staff.
TFP: Some might say too small.
Barnes: I’d be one of them.
TFP: How big of a problem is it to have a limited staff?
Barnes: Without a doubt, the biggest problem of all. I look to my left and she (Toni) is my staff. I have no photographer, no copy-editor, no page designer, no sports editor, no sports reporter – it’s like building a house each week with very limited help. I think about what I could do with a full staff – I imagine the possibilities each time I put the paper together. But the budget I’m given just doesn’t allow for any of it. We still, however, publish an amazing paper each week. I refuse to put out a lesser product. I’m very proud of the work we do.
TFP: For a staff of two, it looks pretty impressive.
Barnes: Thanks. I’m surrounded by people that care about The Free Press. That helps a ton. Toni is very intelligent. She’s much smarter than I am in regards to borough policies, school board requirements, taxes – all those numbers and rules games. And she’s always written very neutral articles – very sensitive about all sides. That’s key in good reporting. Toni is much smarter than she believes. Wendy Badman takes amazing photos for us. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have a sports section some weeks. Bud Kern, as well, covers Quakertown’s football season. It’s great to have that. Lauren Fitzsimons has been with us a long time – back before I was editor. She’s been so reliable. And I’ve had great, supportive bosses who never interfere. I’m surrounded by good people, which is so crucial.

Yes, two more weeks of this drivel. E-mail me at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-12-19T20:48:00.000-05:00

Barnes on Barnes...
Part One of the Final Interview

It had to happen eventually and he couldn’t be here forever. There are folks out there who have told Chris Barnes he should never leave The Free Press. Others pray his last day would arrive as soon as possible. The rest just don’t care. Well, it’s come down to this.
After almost six years, the kid’s on his way out. And after countless interviews with a wide spectrum of personalities – from U.S. senators and governors, local officials, talented children, heroic war veterans, and everyday Janes and Joes – there’s time for one last in-depth conversation…with himself.
Writing a cliché “farewell” column is expected but just too ordinary for a guy who doesn’t like to be ordinary. So let’s get all the questions and answers out in the open – from what his job meant, what his mission was, what he’ll miss, where he’s going and anything else that comes up. This is the last interview: Chris Barnes sits down with himself.

The Free Press: So what’s the deal here? You’re stepping down as editor and plaster your mug on the front page? A bit brash, don’t you think?
Chris Barnes: Some will think so. I suppose it is, but this paper has meant a lot to me and I know I’ve meant a lot to many readers – both good or bad. I want the readers to know I’m packing up. And technically, my mug isn’t on the front page. And to be clear, I’m not necessarily stepping down as editor, but rather preparing to change careers.
TFP: To become a teacher, right?
Barnes: Right. I’ve been back in school for the last three years or so, and to become state certified, I need to complete 12 weeks of student teaching. That’s a full-time job in itself so it feels like a good time to close this chapter.
TFP: Good luck with that. Teaching English, I assume? High school? Middle school?
Barnes: English, and hopefully journalism. Maybe some theater. I’d like to coach baseball eventually. I miss that. But one step at a time. I need to become certified and find a job first. I really have no preference yet between high school or middle school. I might have a clearer perception after student teaching. We’ll see. I’m excited – both to start a new profession and to leave this paper behind.
TFP: You’re leaving on bad terms?
Barnes: No, I didn’t mean that. When I came here as an intern in the summer of 2001, it was understood that a job in the weekly newspaper business isn’t a career. It’s an experience and a temporary stop on the way to something else. I never planned to be here forever.
TFP: Explain that experience a bit more.
Barnes: With a weekly, you run the gamut. When I was hired as a reporter after interning, I did it all. Covered news, features, concerts, press conferences, government meetings, school board meetings, court cases, fires, wrote an opinion, took a lot of photos, gradually learned layout, and improved not only my writing but also my knowledge of the profession on a broader scope from a smaller level. It’s really the perfect experience for anyone breaking into this field. You don’t have that constant 24/7 daily-paper time crunch where everything has to be done right now, and done flawlessly. With that, there’s no time for a learning curve.
TFP: And here, you’re able to jump on a learning curve?
Barnes: Incredibly, yes. You finish an article and have time to review it, make sure everything is right and hand it in. Then, depending on the editor, you’ll be able to discuss it so you can learn what was wrong, why it was wrong and, hopefully, never make the same mistake again. Starting at a weekly newspaper couldn’t be a better education. We cover all the same news the dailies do – we just might not get it to the public as fast.
TFP: Is that frustrating? Not being able to keep up with the competition?
Barnes: Not really. That never bothered me. I never saw The Morning Call or The Intelligencer as competition. If you think about it, it’s pretty rare for a small area like this to have as many publications covering it as it does – especially right down the street from each other. Since we come out once a week, those bigger guys will usually beat us. But that doesn’t make them better. We have time to do the story more in-depth, get different quotes and take a different angle on it, which, I feel, gives us the advantage.
TFP: Can you think of an example?
Barnes: My memory’s awful but give me a minute. OK, a few years ago, there was a big bust at a local spa that was allegedly offering a bit more than simple shoulder rubs, if you get me. We got the same phone call from the police chief about the raid, the arrests and the press conference that the dailies did. We had a reporter there but the daily papers’ story came out first. But we were able to dig more. Toni (Free Press reporter) talked in-depth with Quakertown police officers to find out how the long investigation occurred, how the raid was planned, what undercover work was used, and so on. So we reported the same facts but with a new twist. We don’t rehash the news. That’s one thing I never wanted to do when I became in-charge. I didn’t want to simply re-run the same facts that everyone in town already knew. It happens occasionally because there are only so many ways to tell a story, but not many people look to a weekly newspaper for their only source of news. That’s why we try to give them the basic facts, but add more.
TFP: That’s always been your mission?
Barnes: Yes, always. I put a lot of care and thought into what goes on our pages.
TFP: Some people would raise an eyebrow at that statement.
Barnes: No doubt about it. But that’s the business. I’m sure you’ll ask me about specifics soon – Woldow, letters, controversial articles. The truth is you can’t please everyone and it’s a lost cause in journalism if you even try.
TFP: We’ll get to those later. Let’s not rush to the good stuff yet.
Barnes: Good stuff? I’ve said some good stuff already.
TFP: (long pause) Right.

...Yes, three more weeks of this drivel. E-mail me at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-12-13T21:37:00.000-05:00

Meaningless gripes...

This time of season is a tough one. Tough for story ideas, sometimes tough for photos. Even tougher for column ideas. Therefore, this has no point. No purpose. No element of persuasion. Consider it a week off for the mind.
The following are three things we do or say that have little sense -- at least none that I can find. Maybe the mind will be back next week.
I did it just to say I did it. There's a great new "reality" show on the Discovery Channel called "Everest." It follows a bunch of daring journeymen on their travels up the world's largest mountain.
The show is very claustrophobic. You almost feel trapped as they make their slow way through possibly-fatal winds and miles and miles of ice, rock and slopes. For me, why is the biggest question. Many people have already done this amazing feat so there is no bragging right available to be the first. So why the journey?
The majority of the climbers say it's to "simply say I did it." Really? That's it? Because I can do that without leaving my heated living room. Yes, I've climbed Mount Everest. Wasn't really that hard, either.
I don't understand why these good people are cheating death and taking their bodies to extreme limits just to "say" they did something. It's much easier than that.
Know what else I've done? Piggy-backed a tiger shark. Seriously.
Merry Christmas... Here's Some Garbage. To those people who give lottery tickets for Christmas gifts, I know your heart is in the right place. But consider both sides. Let's say, for example, the gift was five tickets, which usually come in an envelope decorated with holly. So $5 for nothing more than five pieces of garbage.
Oh, it's not garbage? You actually wanted them to win? So, in essence, you were trying to give a $135 million gift. How generous. And, had that gift been luckily achieved, you would have felt no remorse? No jealousy? No regret?
The lottery gift always cracks me up. You don't really want anyone to win, otherwise you wouldn't have given the tickets away, unless you already scratched them off -- which makes them pretty much as useless as they are brand new. Unless they are, in fact, worth millions. Then what? Should've gone with a Whitman's Sampler.
Go Get Lost, Pay Me $8. For the past few years, my fiancé and I head to the farms after Thanksgiving to get the Christmas tree. It's one thing to trudge through acre after acre to find the perfect tree, resulting in a bill of anywhere between $20 to $100 -- depending on the style and the farm.
But rewind a bit to the beginning of fall. These corn mazes -- a huge field of corn with trails to the left and right, back and forward -- some leading to the exit, most keeping you in the middle of being lost. The cost? Per person...$8. Again, I assume it depends on the farm. But $8 to get lost on purpose?
Makes absolutely no sense. I could walk on anyone's property and become lost within minutes for free. And they'll most likely have a dog. A black one, with spikes on its collar. He'll run after me for free. The corn mazes have hokey people with stupid hockey masks wielding phony chainsaws at me -- all included in the price, I suppose.
I'm paying to get lost. And the money goes to what? Upkeep on the maze? How about a search party for the poor people that never make it out? It's as ridiculous as paying to park. Maybe a dollar or so but the places that charge me $20 to simply put my car in park are thieves.
Change the oil, buff out the scratches and top off the gas tank and maybe the $20 is somewhat worth it. It's cheaper to just stay home and "say I did it."
In fact, it was right after I went hang-gliding across the Grand Canyon. Blindfolded.

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-12-06T21:17:00.000-05:00

Get drunk and drive home...

Rendell signs ridiculous law allowing
free, unlimited alcohol to gamblers

Our State Representative, Paul Clymer, has it right. Governor Ed Rendell’s latest law is a “recipe for human misery.”
Last week, Rendell signed legislation allowing Pennsylvania’s slot-machine casinos to serve unlimited free alcoholic drinks to gamblers – a measure that allows an exception to the state’s current limit of one free drink per person.
What great news for gamblers. Imagine that – free booze. All you can drink. They’ll never leave the slots and that’s probably a good thing. If these new casinos will be filled with money-hungry risk-takers, they’ll either drown their sorrows for losing everything, or toast more (free) rounds to all the winnings. Then go home.
Is that what our roads need? How many of these all-night gamblers will call a cab, or have a designated driver? I’d bet less than 1 percent.
Rendell said he expects state gambling regulators to include “control mechanisms” in licensing agreements with the operators of gambling establishments, such as possibly limiting the per-person distribution of drinks to one per hour. Doesn’t mean that will happen, though.
News reports say proponents of the law deem it necessary to allow Pennsylvania’s gambling establishments to compete with those in other states where around-the-clock free drinks are customary.
Why do we need to compete? There are many people who voiced great concern over the casinos in our Keystone State and now they have even more reason to complain.
Pennsylvania is not Las Vegas. Not close to being Atlantic City. Why make the effort?
This bill will allow 14 slots parlors, including those at racetracks, to serve free drinks during the hours that licensed liquor establishments can serve them – 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. And then where do these gamblers go? On the road. In your neighborhoods. On the highways.
Open bars can be a bad decision. People don’t know when to stop. And eventually, they get behind the wheel. Or at least they try to. Clymer is attacking this confusing bill head-on.
“Each session, the Legislature attempts to provide strong oversight on alcohol abuse through legislation and by funding programs for drug and alcohol addiction,” he wrote to Rendell. “The motivating factor for free drinks in casinos is to have the gambling patron spend down to their last dollar. This is unconscionable.”
In the movie “Casino,” the great Robert DeNiro plays Sam Rothstein – a skilled high-roller owner of a Vegas casino. “The secret is to keep them playing,” he says. “If they try to leave, offer them free amenities to get them back. Before you know it, they’re wiped clean. And in the end, we get it all.”
Same principle here. The free alcohol is a great start. The more they drink, the more they play. The more they lose, the more they drink. The more they drink, the more they play. And the more they lose, the more they drink.
Lawmakers who opposed the bill, which passed 27-22 in the Senate and 112-75 in the House, called it both irresponsible and unfair to other establishments that serve alcohol. They’re missing the big picture though. These people are going to eventually go home.
Each night, there are going to be a lot of drunk drivers on the roads. Does that not factor in to Rendell’s or the proponents’ thinking?
What’s most confusing is, in the same week, the governor also signed a package of bills intended to toughen penalties for sex offenders who prey on children. The legislation would give alleged victims of child-sex crimes until their 50th birthday to file criminal complaints – 20 years longer than current law allows.
Good. Very good work. Any law that toughens the way of life for any sex offender is well worth signing. But while Rendell was making the state somewhat of a better place, he was signing bad legislation that will put a lot of drunk people behind the wheel.
Seems a bit redundant – but does gambling money talk louder than safety?

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-12-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

Say it ain’t so, Santa…

A real-life Claus reveals secret identity,
but under unfortunate circumstances

This is a story of giving without wanting anything in return. A story about the true meaning of the holiday season. A story with a not-so-happy ending.
For the last 26 years, a man known only as “Secret Santa” has roamed the streets each December anonymously giving money to random people. He began with $5 and $10 bills. But as his fortune grew, so did his donations.
People in thrift stores, in parking lots, or sitting in a diner – eating alone on Christmas Day – and a man dressed as Santa Claus approaches, hands them a few $100 bills, wishes them a Merry Christmas and walks away.
No sleigh, no reindeer, no chimney. So far, this mystery donor has handed out a total of $1.3 million to everyday people during the holidays.

It all began with a sad Christmas in 1979. Larry Stewart, 31 years old at the time, was sitting at a drive-in restaurant after getting fired. It was the second year in a row he had been fired the week before the big holiday.
“It was cold and the car hop didn’t have on a very big jacket,” Stewart told the Associated Press last week. “I thought to myself, ‘I think I got it bad. She’s out there in this cold making nickels and dimes.’”
Santa, or Stewart, gave her $20 on a small check and told her to keep the change.
“I saw her lips begin to tremble and tears begin to flow down her cheeks,” he continued. “She said, ‘Sir, you have no idea what this means to me.’”
And his new life as the jolly old man was born. But he wouldn’t bring video games, doll houses, bicycles or stereos. Nothing but cash – to those who were in need of some help.
After leaving the drive-in restaurant that day, Stewart drove to the bank, withdrew $200, and drove around his hometown of Bruce, Mississippi, and its outskirts looking for folks in need of a lift. Not only a lift to a destination but a lift in life.
He has hit the streets with the same goal each December since then.
“I offer the gifts of cash because it’s something people don’t have to beg for, get in line for or apply for.”
This is the biggest act of unselfishness I’ve ever encountered. Think about the Christmas season, which officially begins on Black Friday. The sun hasn’t even risen yet and aggressive crowds are lined up at malls and shopping centers to get the best deal so somebody else will be happy with a materialistic item.
That’s what the holidays have withered down to – materialistic nonsense. God bless the families that stay close and appreciate each other during their holidays – no matter what they celebrate.
And may God look down upon those who don’t have such a luxury. There are folks out there who have no parents, no grandparents, no brothers, no sisters, no children, no pets, no roof, no food, no money, no heat, no coat, no water, no sense of tomorrow and no concern of today.
Those are the very people this particular Santa seeks each year.
In the early 1970s, Larry Stewart was living out of his beat-up Datsun. One day, he gathered up enough nerve to approach a woman at a church to ask for help. She told him the person who could help was gone for the day and to simply come back tomorrow.
“As I turned around, I knew I would never do that again,” Stewart told the AP.
Since then, he has made millions in the businesses of cable television and long-distance telephone service. The best part of becoming rich was being able to help those in the same boat as the chilly car hop.
Over the decades of giving, Stewart started a Web site and allowed news media to tag along because he wanted to hear about the people who received the money. He loved their reactions. Reporters and talk show hosts – including Oprah Winfrey – had to agree to keep his company anonymous in order for him to appear. And he always did so in complete Claus costume.
He wanted no credit.
This is what the holidays are all about. Giving what’s needed to who needs it. Everyone can learn a lesson from this Secret Santa. And hopefully, before it’s too late.
Larry Stewart found out last April he has cancer of the esophagus, which has now spread to his liver. The aggressive chemotherapy has stripped away his appetite and energy and he’s lost more than 100 pounds. His biggest worry?
The treatment – which insurance does not cover – costs $16,000 a month and that money “is supposed to be for other people.”
So after almost 30 years of keeping his real identity a secret, Stewart is on a mission he calls “bigger than handing out $100 bills.” He wants to speak to community groups about his devotion to kindness and to inspire others to donate their time, money or whatever they can to those who need it – and take some of the materials out of Christmas.
From his hospital bed, Stewart told CNN there’s a bell downstairs that is rung whenever a patient fully beats cancer.
“One day, I’m going to ring that bell myself,” he said.
Let’s hope so. Our world needs this Santa Claus more than the other one right now.

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-11-24T00:13:00.000-05:00

How to kill...

O.J. delays search for real
killers to write a book describing
the murders he didn’t commit

Let’s go right past the obvious.
O.J. did it, we all know it, and the 12 misguided folks who set him free turned the world upside down. OK? Done.
Now, to take a break from his search for the “real killers” – a search which he said he would continue until they were found – Simpson will profit $3.5 million for a worthless, pointless and insulting book deal.
“If I Did It” – 240 pages, written by Simpson – is supposedly a confession to the bloody slaughter of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman, according to ReganBooks publishing.
And while the “Juice” describes in detail the brutal knife attacks blow-by-blow – if he did it – it’s also revealed Simpson had an accomplice at the scene.
Got the gist?
Now let’s assume we live in a perfect world where Osama bin Laden is found and killed, gasoline costs 10 cents a gallon and O.J. Simpson is actually innocent. Even then, what sick people out there would want to read this garbage?
It’s basically a How-To book for killers. A “Committing Murder for Dummies.”
Judith Regan – publisher of ReganBooks – is out for disgusting sensationalism. She has also backed books by Jose Canseco – a tell-all on steroid use in baseball – and books about the slaying of Laci Peterson and her unborn child.
Regan is also conducting what’s being billed as the TV event of the year. The interview everyone will be talking about.
It’s nothing but a sideshow in a sick, twisted carnival.
The FOX Network will air a two-part interview with Simpson on Nov. 27 and 29, in correlation with his book, describing how he would have committed the 1994 murders if he were the one responsible.
“This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It’s the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century,” FOX said in a released statement.
Hopefully, it’s the interview no one will watch. But putting O.J. aside, what is the purpose of such an “interview special”?
Think about this neutrally. FOX is airing a detailed interview where a man describes the manner in which he would kill another person. The way he would commit murder. The method in which he would take a knife and stab someone to the point of death.
How...why...is this on television?
Denise Brown, sister of Simpson’s slain ex-wife, was exactly right when she lashed out at Regan for “promoting the wrongdoing of criminals” and commercializing abuse.
Simpson had been known to beat his wife many times – the 911 calls were part of the trial’s evidence.
So placing emphasis back on the main character now, why is Simpson – a spousal abuser and alleged murderer – being given a forum to display and describe his craft?
Although he makes public appearances all the time, and plays golf like it’s going out of style, Simpson has yet to pay any of the $33.5 million he owes the Goldman family – the decision brought down in the wrongful death civil case.
The $3.5 million stipend for this ludicrous “confessional” book would be a good start.

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-11-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

Streisand vs. Angered fan...
There's a proper time and place
for celebrities to voice their views

Blame belongs to both parties in the case of outspoken liberal Barbra Streisand and a disgruntled fan who tried pelting the legendary singer with some sort of liquid last week.
Streisand, for some reason, performs a mid-concert skit that pokes fun at President Bush. Much to the liking of many fellow liberals, to the dismay (obviously) of conservatives, and to the disgust of fans simply there to see a Streisand concert.
That's the big issue here. I have absolutely no problem with Streisand sharing her views, whether they align with mine or not. She's as welcome to detest the president as you are to praise him.
But there's a time and place for everything. One side was wrong. Streisand needs to understand that her audience pays up to $750 a ticket to hear her songs.
Republican, Democrat or neither -- they didn't spend a BMW's down payment to hear her political view. Those who weren't offended were most likely liberals. Those upset, conservatives. Maybe even a few who didn't care a bit.
It all comes down to what you believe and a strong desire to not care about another side. Looking at this from a totally neutral position though, I'd much prefer Streisand stay a performer when it comes to a concert. Not a preacher.
Leave the politics at home because, these days, it's only going to start trouble and then there's a huge mess that includes some ticked-off fanatic tossing a drink on stage.
And his side was wrong as well. He just as easily could have left the venue. (What a huge waste of cash that would have been considering the ticket prices.)
Throwing a drink at the celebrity during the performance is just childish and doesn't prove anything -- but then again, he knew his beliefs were correct and Streisand had no right to flaunt hers.
But she certainly does -- I just would've chosen a different avenue to do so.
Consider the Dixie Chicks, who let loose a truckload of honesty in this month's Playboy magazine interview.
Were they shooting from the hip? Or shooting themselves in the foot?
Either way, their concert might not have been the ideal situation for political grandstanding.
What's confusing, though, is fellow country music star Toby Keith widely pushed his Republican favoritism on stage during his many sold-out performances and he continued to grow in popularity.
The more liberal Dixie Chicks, however, got blasted in the media and their ticket sales went way down. Some concert dates even got canceled.
That doesn't even out.
Celebrities are taking a gamble when they release and push their political agenda. They're coming very close to offending the people who make them famous -- the ones who buy movie tickets, concert seats, etc.
But they certainly have every right as we do to feel a certain way. It's refreshing, actually, because it more or less brings them down to our level. But a time and place for everything.
I suppose my best advice would be to remain down-the-middle in public, but know what you feel inside. When it comes to elections, candidates and campaigns, I think it's much better to avoid the controversy and all the garbage that comes along with it.
In the end, you'll never win.
And even though the news and entertainment magazines are all over the Streisand incident, the Bush-mocking won't slow down.
Her manager told the Associated Press last week that the skit will remain a part of the show.
In a way, I commend her. Stay calm -- I'm not backtracking here. Put the cup down.
As much as I feel she could choose a better pulpit for her opinions -- rather than dumping them on an audience who simply wants to hear her songs, not Democratic agenda -- she's standing her ground.
As are the "Chicks," who, despite dropping ticket sales and a barrage of negative press for speaking their beliefs, still stand firm and regret nothing.
Isn't that the backbone of America's foundation?

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-11-01T22:42:00.000-05:00

Better at home than out in the streets?
‘Bully’ is no ‘Grand Theft Auto,’ but parents
still need to monitor children’s entertainment

Jack Thompson, a Florida attorney long critical of violence in video games and other popular media, is on the attack of the latest controversial form of entertainment without ever seeing or playing it.
“Bully” – the latest video game from Rockstar Games, the producers of the Grand Theft Auto series – places the first-perspective player onto the schoolyard. Thompson calls it a “Columbine simulator” and is requesting a ban from stores.
A bit harsh, considering his blind review of the game, but not too off base if Rockstar stays true to its edgy products like the “Grand Theft” bunch which allowed kids to buy drugs, solicit prostitutes, steal cars and shoot cops. “Bully” doesn’t seem to be as ethically-challenged as its predecessors or as apt to promote bloody violence against authority, in addition to felony theft.
That’s not to say it’s in the same realm as “Frogger” or “Ms. Pac-Man.” The video game industry has certainly evolved into an interesting medium for the entertainment of youth. Some might say “Better on the TV screen than on the real streets.” You decide.

“Bully” follows Jimmy Hopkins, a 15-year-old who’s been expelled from every school he’s ever attended. Left to fend for himself after his mother abandons him at Bullworth Academy to go on her fifth honeymoon, Jimmy has a year to climb up the social ladder of this demented institution.
The character needs to stand up for what he believes, while combating the liars, cheats and snobs who are the most popular members of the student body and faculty. He faces mean teachers, nasty gangs, catty cliques, and a complex bunch of greasers, jocks, nerds and preps.
It’s basically a high schooler’s worst nightmare. But none much different than the halls, classrooms and schoolyards of Anyschool, U.S.A.
And while the same twisted producers of Grand Theft cooked up this scheme, it’s not in the same grade. There are no cars to drive, no automatic guns to reload, no police officers to blast and no virtual prostitutes to do whatever is done to virtual prostitutes.
No guns, no blood and no deaths. The most powerful weapons are a baseball bat, a slingshot and little Jimmy’s mind to get out of certain situations any way he sees fit.
More importantly, there are consequences for this teen’s actions – as there should be in the real world. Stay out past curfew and the screen blurs as you become sleepy and eventually pass out. Skip class and you’ll be swarmed by angry adults who voice their disapproval.
There are even incentives for regularly attending the twice-a-day classes. Go to school and Jimmy is able to flirt with girls and learn recipes to make stink bombs and other (non-fatal) prank devices.
No, I’m not necessarily promoting “stink bombs” or other types of adolescent fun but in our world today, we must look at the alternative. If the Columbine killers used stink bombs, we wouldn’t even know their school’s name today. Instead, it’s a fixture on the minds of all educators and parents.
This game is no Columbine. People certainly have a right to label it so, understanding its manufacturers have a reputation for taking violence and crimes to their storylines.
But maybe the other theory remains the best in terms of logic. Better at home than in the streets. If your child plays Grand Theft Auto, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she will head outside, hotwire a Caddy, snort cocaine and buy some free love.
And the majority of real bullies out there won’t get their kicks from tormenting a fictional character on a TV screen. The player, however, will have to run his or her own life and handle these situations – dealing with cliques, gangs, preps, jocks – a familiar cast available at most high schools near you.
No guns, no blood and no deaths. Just real life. If these types of events and characters aren’t at your child’s school, spread the word. It must be a magical place.
Attorney Thompson needs to learn more about a product before denouncing it and demanding its immediate ban. Sounds like he’s simply trying to bully the industry. I love irony.

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.

2006-10-29T19:25:00.000-05:00

Obama 2008?
The freshman senator isn’t selling
cars to get to the White House

It was all my idea. I saw it coming and should’ve written this years ago.
“Why Barack Obama Could Be The Next President,” declared TIME magazine last week. They beat me to it.
If you’ve yet to hear this name in the political arena, give it a few minutes. The “skinny kid with the funny name” – as he refers to himself – is everywhere these days from Larry King Live to Meet the Press, The Late Show with David Letterman and Web sites, magazines, newspapers and blogs galore.

Not only is the freshman Illinois senator making the rounds to promote his book, “The Audacity of Hope,” but fielding questions regarding TIME’s open-ended forecast. How would he run the country? What would his focuses be? What does he think of the current administration?
Give the guy a break. His first term in office isn’t even complete and already many advocates are flashing the OBAMA 2008 banners. Are they far off target or actually laying out a road to the White House for the 45-year-old Democrat?
He’s not saying yes or no – the typical political dance. But why should he? The time isn’t here yet and he’s playing the game (or dance) the right way. I truly think Obama will run for president in 2008 and he knows it, but doesn’t want to make it official because it’s all we will hear, see and debate about until the inaugural speech.
His book tour progresses – a memoir describing how discovering faith opened the door to understanding. It’s not a sob story or hard-luck tale or lost childhood but more an enthusiastically uplifting recollection of the faith in one’s self and outside forces. The book isn’t a vote-gainer but it’s not an election killer either.
And as the tour progresses and Obama tries to garner more votes, support and listen to his constituents’ concerns, he stays clear of the huge issues, which was the main point of the TIME report from the campaign trail. He remains focused on this year’s elections and doesn’t want to place too much pressure on the possible 2008 run for promotion.
“The question of when Obama – who has not yet served two years in the U.S. Senate – will run for President is omnipresent. That he will eventually run, and win, is assumed by almost everyone who comes to watch him speak,” writes TIME’s Joe Klein.
People were introduced to this skinny kid with the funny name at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, speaking not only for his party but for the nation he would love to serve. Who was this guy? Where did he come from? And why was he so damn charming?
Many critics of Slick Willie called him “too charming,” able to look at the camera and tell us he did not have sexual relations with that woman. He charmed us and we believed. Fools, we were.
So can we trust a charmer? Politicians are like used car salesmen. Here’s what this beauty can do for you – it’s got this, that, more of this and look over here at that! You won’t find that in your current car. I wouldn’t lie to you – look at my smile. See the twinkle in my eye? And I’m even wearing a tie. Now come inside for some stale doughnuts, cold de-caf coffee and let’s seal the deal.
Maybe I’m being naïve, or just blindly hopeful, but Obama isn’t selling used cars and his smile and stern dedication to current issues have backbone. His charm doesn’t need to be sold. He, in fact, could have emptied a lot full of 1986 Hyundais after his convention speech two years ago but it wasn’t the motive. It’s rare to find a “real deal” in politics. I’ve met few. Very few.
Even the ones who seem to be solid as rock turn out to be nothing but a wet rag after their true colors shine through and quickly fade.
“His parentage was the first thing he chose to tell us about himself when he delivered his knockout speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004: his father was from Kenya and his mother from Kansas,” Klein continued. “He told the story in brilliant, painful detail in his first book, Dreams from My Father, which may be the best-written memoir ever produced by an American politician. His parents met at the University of Hawaii and stayed together only briefly. His father left when Obama was 2 years old, leaving the child to be raised in Hawaii by his Kansas grandparents, except for a strange and adventurous four-year interlude when he lived in Indonesia with his mother and her second husband.”
The personal disclosure wasn’t for teary eyes – it was an introduction to a person who lived a life, instead of being handed a life. Big difference.
He became a Harvard Law School graduate, spent three years as a civil rights lawyer and law professor in Chicago before being elected to the Illinois state senate.
From then, he professionally established himself as different from most of the other African-American legislators. In a profound way.
And talk about the biggest and probably most highlighted aspect of the campaign – a popular, respected and favored African-American President? Consider it this way – we’ve gone centuries with white folks and not many U.S. citizens are happy yet. It could be time for – dare I say it – change.
Still, Obama isn’t making presidential promises just yet.
“When the election is over and my book tour is done, I will think about how I can be most useful to the country and how I can reconcile that with being a good dad and a good husband,” he told TIME. “I haven’t completely decided or unraveled that puzzle yet.”
Just remember, it was my idea first – long ago. I just didn’t get around to mentioning it until now.

Chris Barnes is the editor of The Free Press and The Saucon News. He can be reached at tfp@berksmontnews.com.